Wednesday, December 18, 2019

"Thank You! It's The Perfect Gift, For Me!"

[Note: This is a devotional, I wrote, especially for this blog, for this Christmas, for my readers! This is a fictional work which I have created, while drawing from an array of my own personal experiences, from both the natural and spiritual realms. So, this is not a testimony, per se, but a holiday "tale" (which is defined as "a fictitious or true narrative or story, especially one that's imaginatively recounted"). Because my blog normally talks about the true events of my actual life it is important that I clarify this for you in regard to this or any post that doesn't, some way. My intent with this post is to share with you the true reason for the season. Merry Christmas!]

This post is dedicated to my dear friend Caroline, who led me to the Baptism in the Holy Spirit, when we were in high school. That 'day of Pentecost' event breathed Life into my faith and my relationship with the Lord, changing it, for the better, forever. How grateful I am for this woman of God, whom, back then, as a teenage girl, caused me to realize I could have more with Him! "They were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to proclaim God’s message with boldness." (Acts 4:31)

The anticipation from wondering if someone special will give us what we really want from them at Christmas is something that even every child is familiar with. We also wonder if they will like what we are giving them, this year. Sometimes, it can be hard to admit, to ourselves, that even when we got whatever it was we had thought we wanted or needed from others, there was still some, lingering, feeling of an unrequited desire, or an unmet need, deep in our hearts. The gift giver can feel those things from us, too, when they give their gift to us, but for whatever reason we don't seem to want it, value it, or even appreciate it. Giving someone whom we deeply love a very personal gift, can put us at risk of being rejected, ourselves, because of, and along with, that gift. They might love it! They may like it. They could even hate it; from not seeing, or liking, or accepting, the meaning of the gift, from us, to them, at all. It might even be seen by them as the very last thing, they could, ever, have wanted, or needed, from us, when we give it to them. Because it came from our heart, out of our love, our care, and our concern for them, it can feel frustrating, to us, when the recipient rejects what we purchased, for them. Especially, when we went well out of our way, and did everything we could to obtain that for them; even at very high cost, to us. But, regardless of all that, they just did not want it. At least, not that Christmas. You may not have gone through this, yourself, with what you have given to someone. But, God has gone through this, with what He has given, to us! Because it is the perfect Gift, for all of us, He has offered that, very same, Gift to us, anew, each and every Christmas, out of His love for us!

Perhaps this Gift had not seemed all that appealing to us as children, when we were excitedly putting together our new toy train's tracks, or dressing our doll, in its prettiest party dress, that she came with. While we were adolescents, we may have been distracted, by, such things as, checking our social media all the time, to see if the one that we had that current crush on was going to "Like" our posts, and, also, us! Then, as adults, there is so much which demands our attention, day in, and day out. We must take care of so many things, that all have to get done; by us. We often feel that we must deal with those things sooner rather than later. On top of all that, the holidays, themselves, add even more to our, already daunting, every day 'To Do List', which is already long enough, on its own, to leave us feeling backlogged, and stressed, as we try, day after day, to get on top of all those time-consuming things. By the end of each day, we are just really tired. We take our multi-vitamin, and hope for strength, after getting some sleep, as we, finally, go to bed, at too late of an hour, for us to have any chance of getting all the rest we need. We don't even want a treadmill for Christmas, because our life already feels like it is one! Christmases come and go, some leaving us feeling dazzled, but others, disappointed, or even discouraged, by what we were given by our family or friends as opposed to what we had hoped for. We learn, to adjust to, and deal with, all of that, as the years go by.  A strange thing happens, to us, though. Even when, we are having, what feels like, a magical Christmas, with all of our wishes seemingly coming true, there is, still, an empty feeling, inside of us, letting us know that, no matter how good things seem, for us now, something, significant, is still missing, somehow. We notice this. Uncomfortably. Even feeling some guilt and dismay, about that. But we do not seem to know what the cause of it is, either. So, we usually try to distract ourselves from our awareness of it, going on, inside of us. We cannot seem to pinpoint it, and we do not know what to do about it, so we tend to try to ignore it, and just hope it will go away. Over time especially, with the help of all the noise and the busyness of our everyday life, it does seem to.

Then the next Christmas comes . . . .

The lights sparkle all around the city in windows and along streets. The snow glistens like the frozen ground is covered with diamonds. The Christmas trees glow in a blaze of beauty. It all looks so "merry and bright", just like the Christmas carol sings about. There just seems to be some darkness though, even inside of us, that all of this doesn't seem to dispel. We don't tell anyone else about it, out of fear they will see us as selfish, ungrateful, a "Scrooge" or even a "Grinch", stealing their joy, by our being so negative, from bringing this up, when we all seem to already feel that if we are acting any other way than festive, fun, and fulfilled, in our lives--- especially during the holidays--- that something is not only really wrong with us but the others in our lives might not even want us around. As we lay our head on the pillow, in the darkness, at bedtime, a few tears may slide down our cheeks, because we sense this deep uneasiness that exists within ourselves, but we just don't understand what is causing that. Or how to fix it. Even with all of the Christmas clamour and glamour surrounding us, this time of year, there is this persistent panic, in us, underneath it all, that we will never stop feeling like there is a hole in our heart somehow. Indulging ourselves, by making extravagant purchases for others, and even for ourselves, that will ring in the new year with a less-than-bright bill, that includes 20% interest on all of that; overeating or drinking; cheering ourselves up by watching the Hallmark movies, or the annual Christmas-themed cartoons; or joining a choir to sing Christmas carols, still leaves us feeling that something--- significant--- is missing from either the holiday itself or from us. We end up, after years of feeling angry at the world (mostly those in our own; from a special someone to our pet, who failed to meet this need of ours some way) realizing that we can't fault anyone else for not being able to stop this, because we don't have any clue how to make our lives, especially at Christmas, not feel like a let down no matter what any one of us does about it; and we have to acknowledge that this, empty space, exists inside of ourselves.

What is it? Why is it there? Is there anything that can be done to fix that, about us? TO MAKE IT STOP, ALREADY! A very soft whisper, inside us somewhere, seems to want to tell us what the answer is, to this dilemma, only we can't seem to hear it, over the seasonal songs, on the shop speakers; the snow plows grating along the street outside; the banging on the door day-after-day by the USPS and the FedEx, UPS, Amazon and DHL delivery drivers all bringing us our purchases from our Cyber Monday self-indulgence. IT ALL JUST FEELS LIKE IT IS TOO MUCH! And yet . . . in some vague, very elusive way, it also feels like all this is never enough. We look around and realize we don't even need more things. All of those we already own are more we have to maintain, manage, and move, and none of them ever brought us that sense of fulfillment that we know has never arrived; and we can't explain this, even to ourselves, for some reason. All of this stuff, that we accumulated, in an effort to satisfy, or satiate, ourselves may have felt that it had done that, for us, at times. We felt mesmerized, at least momentarily, when these things showed up, in our lives. They were often fun, at least for awhile, yet never quite fulfilled us, in our heart of hearts, enough to fill that vacant space sitting empty within us letting us know by its very presence that we are, indeed, missing something that is supposed to be there. "What is wrong with us?", we wonder. What is it, MISSING from this season? We just don't know. All we know is that this emptiness, inside, is a space that is asking to be filled and though we have tried our best to do that, and done everything we know how to do, about it, . . . IT . . . STILL . . . ISN'T. . . filled; meaning something is still missing, from us or our lives. Staring at the bright lights, on our Christmas tree, we say, to ourselves, "What was it, that the whisper was trying to tell me? Was it something about this?" We still don't really know how to hear it, speaking to us, from somewhere down inside us. But, we begin to wonder, if it knows, the answer that we need to all this, that we just don't know. We need someone to tell us what  is wrong, with this picture of Christmas? Will we ever know what it is? Will we ever be able to stop feeling this way about it? In this season which is supposed to be about love and light we can feel so alone, even around others, and it can seem so dark to us then. What is supposed to emphasize the joy, of the season, instead seems to underscore the opposite of that, for us.

Another Christmas morning arrives. The tree almost has a glare instead of a glow to it, after it is surrounded by piles of torn, crumpled, gilded, wrapping papers, and packaging, which were ripped off of the presents, that had been under the tree. All the shiny, new, objects sit, waiting, to be explored, and hopefully enjoyed, although this scene also bodes ominously of the same cycle, of short-term gratification, turning into a long-term emptiness, again. >sigh!<  A thought comes to mind, almost as quietly as the strange whisper that speaks, softly, somewhere deep within me. It almost seems to take the shape of . . . a prayer! It feels awkward. But good. Like taking a very deep breath, after feeling stressed, by something. For a very long time. Tears fill my eyes, and I don't even know why! Something is happening. To me. In me. While this is not considered real in this realm it is very real, in this other, that I am somehow accessing now, in some spiritual way. This is not in the room, where I am sitting, yet it is going on all around me, or perhaps, only within me. A vision appears, imparted to me, from heaven itself! It is not from my own imagination, nor from my own doing, or thinking, or causing. God is Who is giving me the vision, which I am being allowed to see, not with my natural eyes, but with the eyes of my eternal spirit. Could my concerns, about Christmas, finally be addressed; by God Himself? In my spirit, I begin to hear a small, sweet, cry. In this vision, though, it also seems to be coming from underneath, all of what is, now, just a pile of garbage, left lying, all around the floor, after opening all the Christmas presents. What an untidy mess that made! All of that will have to be thrown out, I think to myself.  What is this sound, I can only hear in my spirit, that seems to be coming from underneath all that debris, though? I kneel down, on the floor, and begin to lift all that rubbish and toss it aside, trying to see what on Earth is making me aware of its presence.  Intently, I search for what is making that sound, that is covered over, by the trash, on the floor. It didn't sound like a puppy or a new pet. It was like a . . . human . . . cry. Like . . . a little baby!

But how could that be?

Then, I SAW IT! I saw HIM! A real baby! Lying buried beneath all the refuse, that was left after opening our presents, to one another. Was this--- this tiny being--- some sort of Christmas gift, to us? How was that even possible?  This was not anything that we had given to one another! Where did he come from? Why was he underneath our Christmas tree? Who gave him to us? He was lying there in a not-very-comfortable-looking makeshift crib filled with prickly pieces of hay. Wrapped in a cloth, of some type. I drew in a sharp breath, as I looked at him, lying there. He was so little. So amazing. So precious! I was captivated by him, so much so that everyone and everything else around me faded into the background, as I touched his tiny hand, with my finger. He grabbed onto me, as if he were holding on, for dear life! Like he never wanted to let me go. Something about that caused me to feel so wanted, and so loved by him, in a way that  I had never felt, with anyone else, before. It wasn't anything that I could easily explain, even to myself. I just knew that I felt a love, and a peace, and a hope that I had never, ever, felt before that moment. It was awesome! Although I didn't do this at the time, I suddenly felt like dancing and singing around the room, or something light-hearted, like that. I somehow felt carefree, as if all my cares, and concerns, were gone. As if someone else had come and lifted those off my shoulders. Part of me felt like I had simply suddenly lost my mind, while part of me knew that I had never felt more centered, or more sane, in my life, than I did in this moment, of encounter, with this baby boy. He was still grasping my finger tightly, with his little hand, as he looked into my eyes, and, although I know that it sounds silly, to say this, I felt like I was seen, really seen, for the first time in my life. And instead of that making me feel uncomfortable, due to my being so imperfect, I just felt so accepted! No one had ever really made me feel like that, before. So completely wanted, loved, seen, and, accepted! "What child is this?!?" I asked, out loud, to no one in particular, around me, but the only answer to that came from that whisperer, inside me:

"This, this is Christ the King,
  Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing
  Haste, haste, to bring Him praise,
  The Babe, the Son of Mary."

Wow! I had just met the Son of God! I had heard about Him, only now, I had encountered Him, for myself. I was amazed. I was awestruck. And I knew that from now on, I would never be the same. My life would never be the same. And Christmas! That would never be the same for me either! The Savior--- MY Savior--- came into my home. But even more than that, He came into my heart. I had heard the Christmas story, read from the Bible, every year, around this time. It had kind of seemed like all the other holiday stories that I had been told, from the time I was a young child. With all those other tales, they sounded nice, but just didn't really seem true. This story seemed interesting, to me--- that a baby could, and would, be born into this world, which was God's, only begotten, Son! To take our sins upon Himself, saving us, from the penalty, for those sins, by His fulfilling that righteous requirement on our behalf--- for us!--- because of His love for us! As He lay sleeping, serenely, now, I just stared at Him. I marveled, at the fact, that this newborn baby had come, to Earth, and made everything, about everything, in my life, feel new too! The birthday boy of Christmas. "Happy birthday, Jesus!" I whispered softly, so as not to wake Him, after His long journey, from heaven to my heart. Now I knew it, too: "For God so LOVED the world, that HE GAVE His only Son, that WHOEVER BELIEVES in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." Then I lifted my eyes upward, toward heaven, and I said, quietly,

"Thank You! It's the Perfect Gift, for me!"

Although the Christmas tree lights were still on, they seemed to suddenly go dark as the room grew extremely bright, from some other light source, now. At first, because of the brightness, I couldn't really see, where that was coming from. It felt like I was trying to stare at the sun, and my eyes partially closed against the intensity of this light. I shielded my eyes, with my one free hand, since the Baby would not let go of my finger even as He slept. Then my mouth dropped open, from the sheer shock, of what I was seeing, although all of this that was happening now left me feeling like I was in some other realm altogether, rather than here on Earth. There was a very tall person, standing there, saying to me: "Fear not. I bring you good news, of great joy, which shall be to all people. For, to you, is born, this day, a Savior, called Jesus, who is Christ, the Lord. And this is a sign, to you: You find the baby, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." Then a group of these beings appeared right before my eyes, causing me to believe in them, even more than I ever had in Santa Claus. They stood there, praising God, by saying "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." When they vanished from view after that, I looked back down at Baby Jesus. He was still holding onto my hand, as  if He would never let me go, now! I had been kneeling by this thing, that he was laying in; this "manger", they had called it . . . ever since I had gotten onto the floor, to pull all the packaging and paper away which was left there from all the--- other--- presents, to find where that sweet sound had been coming from underneath all of that, and had discovered Him, there. He woke, and fixed His gaze on me, returning mine at him, and I just knew that He belonged to me; but, even more, than that, I somehow knew, in my heart, that I belonged to Him. Now, and forever!

So, still kneeling, I said, to Him, almost like a prayer, "No one has ever made me feel this way before. I not only want You in my life, always, but I can't even imagine it without You in it, ever again. None of the holiday lights or anything else ever made me feel truly happy, or whole, on the inside, like I feel now because of You." My eyes filled with tears as I looked lovingly at His sweet face, and I told Him, "We belong together. You belong to me, and I belong to You. I feel like I can overcome any obstacle, now, in my life because You are in it, with me, now." Then, I heard that whisper, inside me, almost as if it were saying to me what this little Child could not, then, telling me, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Without knowing how I knew, I knew that this was true, and I felt so much love and joy and a freedom that I couldn't put into words. Then, I realized, with a feeling of complete surprise, that the 'empty space' inside of me that I could never really seem to find or fill, was no longer there! That troubling void was gone, now.  I didn't feel empty, inside, anymore. Tears of relief welled up in my eyes. Somehow, I felt like I was finally saved, after always feeling that I had been lost, before; wandering through this life in search of somewhere, or someone, where I really belonged; which I couldn't even begin to describe, but I knew was missing from my life. I whispered to the baby boy, "I want You in my life! I need You in my life! Please be with me, always. From now on. I don't want it to be like it was, for me, before You came. I felt like such a misfit before, somehow, but now I feel like I'm who I am supposed to be, what I am supposed to be, and where I am supposed to be. I know that everything will work out, for me, now. For the best. Whatever that is. I trust You! Not even knowing, for sure, how that will happen does not stress me out, like it did, before You showed up in my life. I just feel like, everything, that I truly need, showed up, in my life, when You did! With You. From You. Because of You. I can't really put what I am feeling into words right now. But, I just have to tell You, for some reason, that I know for sure, that Your coming into my life today SAVED ME! I always just felt so lost, somehow, before. Now, I feel like You are my best friend, and that we will always be together. I love You! Thank You for being such a blessing to me just by being who You are! I am so glad You are here, with me, now. I just know that we're going to be together, forever, and I am so grateful, and so glad, about that!" Just as I finished, saying these things to Him, from my heart, He closed His eyes, beginning to fall asleep again. Trusting me in all that I had said to Him, He finally let go of my finger. After all, He really didn't have to keep hold of my finger, to know, we would, always, be with one another, from now on.

He had my heart!

After years, of my getting presents, that, even when they were what I thought I wanted, never seemed to satisfy my deepest needs for some reason, I finally got the greatest Christmas Gift ever given to me! My Savior, Lord and Best Friend, Jesus Christ; the Messiah! The other gifts had seemed great at first; then, not so great, somehow; and I never really knew why that was.  I just knew that something was missing, with all those things. None, of all that, had ever really satisfied me. In my soul. Because of that I always ended up feeling that vague, but persistent, emptiness, inside. Now that this holy infant had come into my life, I finally felt like I had gotten what I really needed, and wanted, all along; that I just hadn't realized, before. I was beginning to be able to hear that whisper, within me, alot better now, too! Just as I had that very thought, it said, to me, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, with whom there is no change or shifting shadow." My very favorite Christmas carol began playing on the CD player then. It seemed like the perfect lullaby for this infant, as He finally drifted off to sleep once again; seemingly reassured, by my decision, that we would always be together, now that He had come. Into my life. Into my heart. . . . "Sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace." God's Gift, to me, was this Baby! It was, and will always be, the Perfect Gift, for me! My gift to Him was my heart, which was exactly what He wanted, too!

References for this post:

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16 NKJV)

"the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you." (John 14:17 NIV)

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" (Mark 8:36 KJV)

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" (Hebrews 13:5 NKJV)

"In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, 'Ananias!' 'Yes, Lord,' he answered. The Lord told him, 'Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.'" (Acts 9:10-12 NIV)

From Wikipedia.org, regarding the definition of a (spiritual) "vision": "A vision is something seen in a dream, trance, or religious ecstasy, especially a supernatural appearance that usually conveys a revelation. . . ."

"I am the LORD your God. I am holding your hand, so don't be afraid. I am here to help you." (Isaiah 41:13 CEV)

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." (1 Peter 5:7 NLT)

"And we know that the Son of God has come, and he has given us understanding so that we can know the true God. And now we live in fellowship with the true God because we live in fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ. He is the only true God, and he is eternal life." (1 John 5:20 NLT)

Which, of the 4 gospels, tells the Christmas story of the birth of Jesus?
The birth of Jesus is described in Luke 2:1-20 and Matthew 1:18 - 2:23.

"In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone.The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." (John 1:1-5 NLT)

"Who gave Himself as the redemption price for all--a fact testified to at its own appointed time" (1 Timothy 2:6 Weymouth New Testament)

"Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." (Luke 2:11 - 12)

". . . He will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV)

"There is only one God, and Christ Jesus is the only one who can bring us to God. Jesus was truly human, and he gave himself to rescue all of us." (1 Timothy 2:5 CEV)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV)

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28 NKJV)

"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'” (John 8:12 ESV)

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, with whom there is no change or shifting shadow." (James 1:17 Berean Study Bible)

Resources for this post:

"White Christmas"
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white
Songwriter: Irving Berlin

"We Need a Little Christmas"
Haul out the holly;
Put up the tree before my spirit falls again.
Fill up the stocking,
I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now.
For we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute,
Candles in the window,
Carols at the spinet.
Yes, we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute.
It hasn't snowed a single flurry,
But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry;
So climb down the chimney;
Put up the brightest string of lights I've ever seen.
Slice up the fruitcake;
It's time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough.
For I've grown a little leaner,
Grown a little colder,
Grown a little sadder,
Grown a little older,
And I need a little angel
Sitting on my shoulder,
Need a little Christmas now . . .
For we need a little music,
Need a little laughter,
Need a little singing
Ringing through the rafter,
And we need a little snappy
"Happy ever after, "
Need a little Christmas now . . .
Songwriter: Jerry Herman

[Part of the lyrics from the song] "O Holy Night"
O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope - the weary world rejoices.
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees.
O hear the angels' voices.
O night divine,
O night when Christ was born.
O night divine, o night,
O night divine.
Songwriter: Adolphe Adam

[Part of the lyrics from the song] "I've Just Seen Jesus"
I've just seen Jesus 
I tell you he's alive
I've just seen Jesus
Our precious Lord alive
And I knew, he really saw me too
As if till now, I'd never lived
All that I'd done before
Won't matter anymore
I've just seen Jesus
And I'll never be the same again
Songwriters: Danny Daniels, Gloria Gaither, William J. Gaither

"What Child Is This?"
What Child is this
Who laid to rest
On Mary's lap is sleeping?
Whom Angels greet with anthems sweet,
While shepherds watch are keeping?
So bring Him incense, gold and myrrh,
Come Peasant, King to own Him
The King of Kings salvation brings,
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.
This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.
Oh, raise, raise a song on high,
His mother sings her lullaby.
Joy, oh joy for Christ is born,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.
This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,
The Babe,
The Son,
Of Mary. . . .
Songwriter: William Chatterton Dix

"Silent Night"
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
'Round yon virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight!
Glories stream from heaven afar;
Heavenly hosts sing Al-le-lu-ia!
Christ the Savior is born!
Christ the Savior is born!
Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth
Songwriters: lyrics by Joseph Mohr; music by Franz Gruber

Video: "Christmas/Jesus; No Better Gift" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4-puGte31o