A Message To My Readers

Dear Readers,

I am leaving you this update regarding my March blog post, as I can see several of you checking in, for the latest post, and finding it is not yet online. As of today, I haven't actually started writing it yet, although I have decided to do an additional post of my memorabilia, that I set aside when I sorted all my old papers and mementos last Autumn. I came across something I wrote to the man that I dreamed of finding one day-- or finding me-- whom I apparently have never met, to this day, sadly. It was titled "Open Letter To My Man From God" and was written a long time ago, because it references my beloved cockatiel, CeeBee, as being in my life, then, who was with me on this earth for almost 20 years, before he flew home to Heaven the summer of 2011. I also found something I wrote to my first husband-- my half-first cousin, whom I married after he sexually assaulted me and I thought he had taken my virginity when I was unconscious after he got me drunk for the first time in my life. I was 18! I was divorced by the time I was only 22. I never loved him. In many ways I actually loathed him. Back then, times were so different, though, that I felt that I had no choice but to wed the man who took my virginity-- or so I had thought he did, until I found out, after we were married, that he had made my hymen bleed, before, by starting to penetrate me with his penis, but had not fully broken through it, until we were married, and then it was too late. What a heartbreaking way to lose your virginity, and start a marriage, and so many other sad things, from that, that it set me on the course for, in my life. I wrote blog posts about him previously, if you want to read up on this relationship. The thing that I found in my memorabilia, that I wrote to/about him, is very telling, about that relationship. I will transcribe both those things verbatim, that I set aside to share in my March post.

As far as when that will be published online, I am not sure. I had hoped to have it here by tomorrow, but this month has been extremely busy for me, and still is, with alot of projects that I have to get done on a somewhat strict deadline. The Blogger website shows me what country my readers are in (62 countries now!) and if my readers have accessed my blog, today, this week, etc., but not your actual identities. I have seen some of my regular readers' countries in those stats several times this month, though, so I didn't want to leave you hanging; unsure of what is going on. That's why I wanted to take a few minutes to write you all this note, explaining that, I am alive and well, just really busy right now in my current life. I do feel fairly sure that I can get the blog post written and online no later than this coming weekend, though, unless something unforeseen happens. So, I recommend you look for my March post around March 25th or 26th.

Also, I hope to share some more of my poems and lyrics that I have written; either this month, or in April's post. My writing-- whichever form it takes-- comes from a very personal place, so it is always autobiographical, in some way or other, manifesting what I am thinking and feeling-- or DID think and feel, since some of those things I wrote helped me to get certain things, and certain people, out of my system. Writing helps me put things in perspective, when I am processing my varied thoughts and emotions, such as about relationships, etc. It has always been very cathartic for me.