My previous blog post that is, sequentially, the prelude, to this one is: https://ascentthroughthedarknightofthesoul.blogspot.com/2019/03/my-summer-living-in-homeless-shelter_27.html. Also, the following one is describing my deep unhappiness, due to living here. Mostly, but not completely, due to the landlord, I am renting from, being such a jerk: https://ascentthroughthedarknightofthesoul.blogspot.com/2020/10/now-is-another-dark-night-for-my-soul.html. Some of the things that I have gone through with the male tenants, and the maintenance man, which have also negatively impacted my life now, are described here: https://ascentthroughthedarknightofthesoul.blogspot.com/2020/02/why-i-have-become-female-chauvinist.html. This is about my landlord:
There is no way that I can write about every comment he has made, every action he has taken, that he shouldn't have, everything he has not done, that he should have, during the 4 endless-seeming, draining years that he's been my landlord. I can only share enough examples, of these things, here in this blog post, that you will end up with, a good, general, overview, of how he is, and what my life, as his tenant, has been like, because of that. So, here are some of my depictions, of life in this place, that this landlord provided for me, as, my home, here. These things all reflect on him, either, directly, or indirectly, because they result from decisions that he made; all of which have affected the quality of my life, and ultimately, the state of my health-- physically, mentally and emotionally. Even spiritually in ways.
It's said that 'When life gives you lemons make lemonade.'* The summer of 2017 was really the beginning of this current chapter of my life, that I am in, now, as I write this blog post. I had injured my hand doing my job. Although I'd scrambled to try to find another job, I had ended up losing my apartment, which I had lived in for 5 years. That, led to my living in a homeless shelter, for the very first (and, hopefully, very last) time, in my life, after, storing all my property. As a homeless veteran, I was given a HUD-VASH** housing voucher, by the VA's social workers, who were assigned to help me find another place to live, which was to either, pay my rent, entirely, or a portion, of that, as needed, on another place to live. I was assigned one primary social worker, but the various VA social workers considered themselves as working as a team, so several different ones would, randomly, and individually, come to pick me up from the shelter, on different days, and drive me around to look for an apartment where the landlord accepted Section 8 vouchers. The voucher would help me no longer be homeless, but it also greatly limited the places where I could live. During the process of searching for a suitable home for me, one of the social workers, asked me to look at an apartment building, online, to see what I thought of it. The shelter provided a half dozen or so computers for such things as online searches related to securing housing, so I did as she asked.
"Meh." I just had a very neutral reaction, to it, almost underwhelmed, as I pulled up the website for this place online and sat staring at the photos and reading the information about it, that the landlord had designed to describe it for prospective tenants. When the VA social worker came to pick me up at the shelter to go look, I requested that she drive me to see a couple of the larger apartment complexes instead, which took tenant vouchers, as well, that I wanted to view because they were much more attractive and appealing to me, personally. Of course, those are also in high demand, so neither place had current vacancies; and they both even had a waiting list. So, she drove me over to this place, that I live in, now, to give me my first real glimpse of it. It was the one she had asked me to look at online, which was neither particularly impressive nor unimpressive. It was just so 'blah'! This place definitely did not look like anything special at all. Just a smaller, older, apartment building, with a lumpy-looking yard in the front, which had somewhat sparse grass, and a big dumpster sitting in the far corner of the back parking lot, along with a couple of cars, parked close to the back entrance of the building. As she scanned my face, with a hopeful expression, I just stared back, at this social worker, with an expression that I am sure showed her a mixture of both my real disappointment and frustration I was feeling at the time. Even so, she called the landlord from her cell phone, to ask what he currently had available, while I was hoping he said "Nothing." He told her there was an apartment available, though.
Every time, a social worker would pick me up from the homeless shelter, to look for a place to live, I hoped it would be the day that I found my new home. I was starting to see, though, that whatever it turned out to be, it was not going to be anything anywhere near the top of MY list--- even of Section 8 properties. I was really weary, and physically run down, from not being able to ever sleep well, at the shelter. At this point I was also actually sick too, with a respiratory infection, that is commonly caught in the crowded shelters, which is referred to as 'kennel cough'***, for which, I was now on antibiotics. Because of all that, I was feeling more and more anxious to get my belongings out of storage and return to living alone again, rather than having to, constantly, be around so many other people, in such close quarters. So, I told her I was willing to at least check it out, to see how it was on the inside. The landlord said he could not show me the apartment that day because the male tenant, who had lived there for many years, was still living in it. Having lived in apartments for my entire adult life, except for when I was in the military, was a live-in nanny, or lived in my last husband's house that he owned before we met, I knew the landlord could still show me the apartment that I would potentially be renting here, by giving a written notice to the current tenant, so I asked the social worker to ask him to do that, saying that there was no way I would ever consider renting an apartment sight unseen that was going to become my home. During their phone call together, he agreed to do this, so I returned, with a VA social worker, on the day this was arranged with that tenant.
The landlord was not there, to show me the actual apartment, when we arrived, but he sent his maintenance man, instead, who was a very pleasant, somewhat short, Mexican man. Although he spoke English, with a thick accent, this was an opportunity for me to practice speaking Spanish, which I try to do, as often as I can, to try not to lose that skill. I took 3 years of Spanish in high school and it's one of those skills that is use it, or lose it. His English-speaking was somewhere along the lines of Ricky Ricardo on the 'I Love Lucy' TV show. As we entered the apartment, after the man, currently living in it, let us in, it was very dark, dingy, and depressing. He had the shades closed, causing me to wonder what he might be trying to conceal, about this place. The kitchen was like a black cave. It even had black countertops. There was no light in that room, except for dimly-lit light bulbs. All of the appliances were old and grimy. The refrigerator was dented and rusty. The stove was coated in old grease, in every crevice and on every surface. It was clearly not a clean, cared for, apartment. Neither the kitchen or bathroom had windows. There was only one window in the bedroom, and the patio door in the living room, for any sunlight to get in. Old carpet was lumpy and threadbare in places (what I could see, of it, in the shadowy rooms). It needed alot of work, to ever be an acceptable place for me to live. My landlords, over the years, have consistently praised me for how clean I've kept the apartments that I've lived in. My heart sank, seeing this place. There was nothing, appealing, about it, for me.
The landlord came along after I had viewed the apartment with the maintenance man, and he entered the apartment with me for a second walk through. I voiced my concerns about its condition. I said, that it needed all new appliances, in the kitchen. While he did not agree to that, he said that it would get new carpet and that I would be able to select the carpet color I preferred, from several swatches which he would be showing me. As we left the apartment, and continued talking, he saw another tenant out in the parking lot, and asked him if it was possible for me to view his apartment, to show me what standard the apartments were done to for the tenants moving in now. He allowed it, so the landlord took me in there. It looked alot better, than the one I had just seen, as my, potential, future home, and seemed to show that this landlord did understand what an apartment should look like, that is being rented in good faith to a new tenant. The landlord assured me mine would also be renovated up to this standard of care and cleanliness, for me to live in. Even so, I pay attention to my gut instincts and/or to the Heavenly Helper God provides me, by His Holy Spirit living in me, telling me the truth from the vantage point of His omniscience. If I don't do that, I regret it down the road.
I continued to have a strong conviction that this place would be a real letdown to me. I felt sure that I could find a better place, than this, to call home. Although I was currently living in a homeless shelter, and I was weary from that experience, after about a month and a half there, I still did not want to go from that situation into something that did not feel any better to me! The VA social worker turned to me once we were back in her car alone, and asked me what I had thought. When I told her she responded, "I have to tell you, THIS place is AS GOOD AS IT GETS, using a housing voucher, so I think you should take it." I had already seen better places than this when I was driven by some of the other social workers to look at potential places for me to live. Although those also accepted a Section 8 voucher, they simply didn't have any apartments available at the time. Those were in high demand because they were much nicer places to live in. They were much prettier, and, had more amenities. So, I stuck to my decision, and turned this place down.
That wasn't just due to the apartment, either. Both, when I had seen the website for this property (taking note, of what was said, and unsaid, about it, there), and when I met the landlord, he troubled me. I felt the Holy Spirit--- God's Helper, to me--- trying to warn me about him. I got the very strong impression that he was an insincere person who would simply say whatever he had to, to get a tenant to take this apartment, which was in poor shape. I sensed that, he lacked integrity; that he was someone with a character deficit which would make dealing with him difficult for me, because I really do not like dealing with people like that. They're almost always trouble for me down the road, when I allow them in my life in any way. I am an honest person, whose word is my bond. Personal integrity matters, greatly, to me. I didn't sense that very strongly in this landlord as I made mental observations while we conversed together; and that really put me off, about him. I had been chatting with him, in an openly congenial way, while I was also sizing him up, underneath that, while I tuned in, closely, to the Holy Spirit's Leading, in me, so I could access that heavenly wisdom. God knows everything, including all about everyone. People may try to hide things, from each other, but they cannot hide things from God. So, I access that Truth in my relationship with God to help guide me in my life. Every time I have not listened to that 'still small voice'****, in my spirit, which is God's Holy Spirit, dwelling within me, I have regretted it--- without fail. I was already in a homeless shelter, now. I definitely did not want to go live somewhere from there that did not even feel like an improvement on that.
This landlord, came across, to me, as being extremely insincere, and slick*****. God is particularly opposed to anything anyone does that gives Him 'a bad name' among people, so I really felt the Holy Spirit 'kick' me, in my gut, in a warning of protest, when, the landlord, who is Jewish, told me that he's had several tenants ask about his Jewish faith, and express a desire to visit his synagogue, with him, to see what it was like--- and that he had told them he would take them there at some point. The Holy Spirit, immediately, told me that this man had no intention whatsoever of ever following through on this, and that it was an indicator of both his disrespect for God, and for these tenants of his, that he had said this to them while all the while knowing that he wasn't going to keep his word. He likely didn't even see that as BEING HIS WORD to KEEP; but it was. He deliberately spoke an INTENTION, to these people (and, now, TO ME, as well), which, he did not intend to follow through on, with, any, of us. He was simply being glib, in order to make both his current and future tenants more amenable, toward him, and his agenda, as a landlord. Many people, who go through life like this, have no problem with it. It does not even pang their conscience, or cause them to lose any sleep, at night. Not only, do you never really know, if you're standing on solid ground, with them, but counting on someone like this to come through, on your behalf, especially for something important, inevitably, leads to both disappointment and real problems.
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Do You Love Your Enemies Enough to Hate Them? | Desiring God "But that hate, if we are obeying Jesus, means that we hate them not only because of their disgusting injustice, but for what that injustice means for their souls. Piper explains, 'There is a kind of hate for the sinner (viewed as morally corrupt and hostile to God) that may coexist with pity and even a desire for his salvation.'"
John Piper is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For more than thirty years he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis. He is the author of more than fifty books, and his sermons, articles, books and more are available free of charge at desiringGod.org
By John Piper. © Desiring God Foundation. Source: desiringGod.org
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God does not like lying******; and, I honestly didn't like this man. This landlord. I hadn't, really, since I first viewed his website for this apartment building, noting that he had rated himself with 5 Stars, as a Review (which was out of line, tacky, manipulative, and not his place, to do). I also noticed, that there was an absence of any really negative Reviews, and only a couple of good ones, on the website. I knew, because of all my years of living in all types of apartments, and from what the Holy Spirit was saying inside me, that this place had to have had bad reviews from current, or former, tenants at some time. The maintenance man confided in me, later on, after I was living here, that this landlord 'scrubs' his website, of the bad reviews he gets, to keep potential renters from reading those. I don't know if that's true, but that's what he told me, and the information lines up with how the landlord has behaved, which I have witnessed myself while living here. He seems to me to be hellbent on trying to make himself look as good as possible to others while not actually being a person of the high caliber of character that he attempts to ascribe to himself. Or, that I admire, in another human being. There are lots of people on the planet that are like this, but when such a person becomes involved in any way in my personal life (especially, in my home life, since, where someone lives should, ideally, be a safe haven, and a happy place), that person's presence has a very negative, and stressful, impact on me. The landlord holds my home in his hands. Because we're currently in a long-term pandemic, that means, that, to a large extent, my landlord literally holds my life in his hands! I am quarantining. I have been staying in total isolation from others, as much as possible, for over a year now, while continuing to try to survive, not only the pandemic, but all of the whims and abuses of this landlord, whom I have come to truly and deeply loathe.
I do consider him to be one of my abusers, which, is why, I despise him so much. Abuse isn't just physically striking someone. It's mental and emotional abuse too. For myself, those types, of abuse, have been far more distressing, and damaging. It is destructive to any type of human relationship when someone says one thing, and does another; when their words appear to be disconnected from their actions almost all the time; when they behave rudely when you are merely asserting that your, basic, needs be met (the very things, they acknowledge, when face-to-face, and in texts, emails, and letters, are valid concerns, that you are entitled to have, which are appropriate and warranted); when they shut you down when you try to communicate, saying they have no time to hear your response or thoughts, while they insist, that you take the time, even if you are very busy, to hear whatever it is that they have to say, no matter how inapplicable, inappropriate, or inane, it is. Whenever someone frequently cuts you off, or hangs up on you, in mid-sentence, rather than hear you out, saying only, 'I have to go' with no resolution or closure; when they are insincere; when their word cannot be counted on, when they lie to you; when they take advantage, of you; when they're very quick to threaten you, which continually undermines and erodes your sense of stability and security in a dangerous and deadly pandemic especially (which I consider to be both cruel and uncalled for); and they know that you were extremely vulnerable, as a homeless, female, veteran, just before this; yet, they still seem to relish pulling some power trip on you that is calculated to cause, and sustain, a strong, scary, sense of your continuing to be housing insecure, because of their making a threat to take away your home, for no real reason, so many times. In fact, they put you through that level of stress and terror simply to shut you up, in general. They do this, because they know, in their heart, that you know exactly who, and what, they truly are as a person, and that makes them uncomfortable around you. My landlord does this. These are things that an abuser does, regardless, of the type of relationship, it is.
They are not a nice human being, but they don't want to do better, so they try to bring you down to their level or even lower, if they can, to subjugate you so they don't feel convicted about how they are and they can live with themselves easier. If/when they do try to be a better person they can't, really, do it--- because they aren't, in fact, a better person! They cannot pull it off, for very long, or very well, because they literally lack the attributes, to be that type of human being. People, like my landlord, know very well who you are, as a person, and that makes them very resentful, of you; because if you are able to be a decent, honest, honorable, person, you demonstrate to them that this is, in fact, humanly possible, to be all those things--- illuminating the harsh reality that, they, are therefore, NOT those things, only because they don't bother to be. There's an old saying, "Water seeks its own level", which means that a quality person, of integrity, is drawn to similar people, and repelled by the opposite, and also, vice versa. So, low quality human beings are, much more, at ease with people who are like they are, because those do not feel like a thorn in their side, reminding them that, they are, in fact, a low quality person, as far as their character, values, and behavior. This, is the reason that they constantly disrespect you, and mistreat you, and have not been honest or ethical toward you; but, they also do not want to hear about it from you. They do not want to be held accountable, for their actions. So, they silence you. These are all things that my landlord has, routinely, done, to me! He's done even more, than this, during the several years that I have endured living here. I refer to this place, silently, to myself, as 'Low Life City' (because when I pay this jerk the rent prorate, every month, which is the part of my rent that is not covered, by the VA housing voucher, I have to write the check out, however resentfully, to his name, followed by "LLC" (Limited Liability Company; although, he will be fully liable, for every one of his actions, when, he stands before God, as Judge, someday!). This demeaning, and disrespectful, type of behavior is what a bully does. I see him as an asshole. Despite what he continually tries to convey, about himself, he's not a nice person. He's not a good person. He is manipulative, mean, and misogynistic.
So, since I turned this apartment down, when the social worker showed it to me, and alot of the reason for that was because of the Holy Spirit warning me, about this landlord, how did I end up here? The short, and superficial, answer, is that I ended up in the hospital, after leaving the homeless shelter, which is a testimony of God working in my life, all on its own, and therefore will need to be covered in another blog post, specifically, about that. When that happened, I was unable, to go with the social workers to try to find an apartment for me to move into, and I was exhausted in every way, from the long and difficult summer--- before I even got to this apartment, to THEN have to go through, everything, that this landlord caused me to have to deal with as I moved into this apartment, after leaving the hospital. The, overriding, spiritual, answer, however, is, that, it was 'a God thing'.
God did not hide, from me, what, this, landlord, was like. In fact, it was precisely because of, who this man is, with all his, character, deficits, that God wanted him exposed to someone, very real and genuine, like me, who advocates for truth, so that this man has had to consider his own values, and behaviors. I'm the sand in the oyster; or perhaps, the salt in the wound, since, I don't know what has made him the person that he is. God's Called me to make an impact on others by being 'the salt of the earth'*******, for His purposes; and He doesn't explain His Plan, for our lives, in great detail. He expects us, to learn, to trust Him, and obey, with the understanding that, we are, first, and foremost, here on Earth, to do His Will, regardless, of what, we may, otherwise, prefer, our situations, to be, for our own comfort. I'm such an imperfect person to be used as an example, to anyone. But, imperfect vessels, are all that God has to use, now. Since I have simply, followed God's lead--- whether I like it, or not--- I have, often, seen God accomplish some of His best, and strongest, revelations, of Who He is, in the lives of--- and for the benefit of--- those, who seem to, need, that awareness, the most. Anywhere that I've lived, for many years now, the landlords, tenants and others that I encounter while living in those places have heard about the need for a real relationship with our Creator. I have had many conversations, which included the Gospel message, describing God's saving Grace, and His Plan for the redemption of souls, who are, clearly, powerless, to save themselves. I've prayed with, and for, people, for their salvation, healing, and whatever else, that they were open to receiving from God. Including, prayers with and for this landlord. His basic character seems to remain unchanged, but I know that God has given him alot to consider, about himself, as he has interacted with me all these years. Perhaps some of those seeds will grow and result in a true (and much-needed) change of heart in this man, causing him to really, finally, understand, what God expects of His people, whether Jewish, as he is, or Christian, as I am, or anyone, of, any other, faith-based, religion, that is centered on God. Anyone, claiming, a real relationship with God, is, thereby, also a representative of God on this Earth. That, then, is our highest Calling from Him.
When, I find myself in very unpleasant circumstances--- such as, living here, has been, for me--- the, entire, time that I have lived here--- I just cling to God, and cry out, to Him, about the difficulties, involved, that are so hard on me, in almost every way. As one vulnerable human being, in the flesh, who is 65 years old now, and tired, of all, of life's buffeting me about, I have been, brought to my breaking point, several, times, by the words and actions of this landlord--- especially when those are threatening me, in some way, or other, which is, his 'go to' intimidation and control method, that he uses on me. I am concerned for him spiritually, but I also experience my own very human reactions to being mistreated, regardless, of who is doing that to me, and how, and why. There is no way that I will ever like a person who's done the things, to me, that this landlord has done, and has put me through, for no good, or right, reason. There have been few people in my life that I intensely dislike as much as this man. I cannot wait for him to be out of my life! I didn't even want to move in here in the first place. It was a, huge, compromise, for me, in order to end my homelessness, so I could get some much-needed rest. Or, so I had hoped, it would be. But, it wasn't restful, at all, for me; and in fact, it put a, bigger, burden, on me, as I worked for months, to clean this place up, that was, presented to me, by this landlord, in such poor condition. I was, simply, in a position that I really had no choice, at the time. I knew, it was God's Will, though.Even in this post, I use strong words, in describing how I bristle from resentment and dislike of this landlord that I have had to deal with, and suffer so much from, for the last several years. For better or for worse, I am an honest person. I stand before God as my Judge who decides for all of eternity the right and the wrong of not only me but all Mankind. I see what Christianity is meant to be being twisted, and turned, wielded, and watered down, for all manner of, human, purposes now. I have studied God's Word, the Bible, in its entirety, myself, and I appreciate that it is also 'very real', giving us vivid descriptions of dealing with life, on this sinful, Fallen, planet. It says that psalmist, and king, David, was a man after God's own heart. But, it also lets it be known that he was a sinful man. David's saving grace was that, he loved the Lord, with his whole being! God's holy standard is that we live righteously, before Him; but knowing, we fall far short, of that, His answer is love. Even so, the Bible never says that the Lord no longer hates sin, because sin hurts the one sinning, as well as others, who are also, inevitably, affected by that sin. In Psalm 139:21-22, David says, "Do I not hate those who hate You, LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? I hate them with the utmost hatred; They have become my enemies."(NASB) Yet he was still a sinner like me, and like this landlord. The Golden Rule would go the farthest in eradicating sin, in our lives, and on this planet. You can be sure, that sin is always found where this is not being done: "In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12 (NASB)
I feel like I haven't had this work in my life very well, however, which discourages me, quite often. So many times, my treating someone better, than they treat me, has led to them, apparently, thinking that I am a pushover that they can continue (to try) to take advantage of, or that I am somehow weak, instead of, strong, and self-disciplined. It seems, by now, that my landlord has figured out that I hold my own, against all of his bullshit, that he pulls on me; and yet, he still can't seem to help himself, which leads to him inevitably trying to 'save face', for the sake of his own ego, as he backtracks, and tries (unsuccessfully) to assign better motivations to his own behaviors, while attempting to (try to) characterize, worse reasons, for mine. He, always, just ends up, looking like a jerk, though. Over, and over, again. Because of who he is--- because of how he is--- my nickname for him, that I only say, silently, to myself, is "bozo"********. I am, to the point, due to, how he has wronged me, so often, and caused me so much, unnecessary, grief because of his selfishness and stupidity, that I can't stand the sight of him. That, alone, can ruin my day! I immediately feel stressed. I immediately feel angry. I immediately feel wary. The fact that I came to live here from being a homeless veteran and he has done everything he can to cause me to feel, constantly, 'housing insecure', simply to attempt to control me, fills me with a burning resentment, toward him, in itself. He does whatever is easiest and most expedient, for himself; not what is the right thing, to do. However, I have observed his words, and actions, to see, exactly how pervasive this is, and, two things are clear, to me: (1) he is most comfortable with those tenants that (he at least THINKS) respect him, and (2) he is a CHAUVINIST! Both, of those things, don't give ME very much success, in, my dealings, with him. I just try extremely hard to avoid him, at all costs, even ducking or hiding if I can.
Although he had told me, when I viewed this dingy, dirty, apartment, that I would get brand new carpet (that I could pick myself, from several samples that he had) and that the apartment would be fixed up, just as nicely, as the one that he, also, showed me, which belonged to a male tenant, living here, none, of that, was true. I don't know, whether, he took advantage, of the fact, that I was desperate to get into a place, to live, again, after, staying in a shelter, and then, in the VA hospital, or what; but, by the time the day came for me to sign the lease and get the keys, I just did it, and was left to spend the next 3 months cleaning up this filthy place! Since I had first seen this apartment building on his website, and read about it on there, I also knew, what the amount of rent was that he claimed to rent these for. However, when he and I were standing at the kitchen counter to sign my lease he almost sounded like, he was, drooling, from his, unbridled, and clearly, displayed, hope of greedy gain, as he said to me, with an overt eagerness, in his voice, that, the housing authority (that issued my HUD-VASH** Section 8 housing voucher to end my being a homeless veteran, by helping me obtain housing) would pay for a higher rent, on this place, which he therefore wanted to write on my lease, as the monthly rent amount. I was shocked, and put off, by how tacky, that was, of him, and, I supposed, he must be used to dealing with people that were either dumber than I, or as corrupt as him, for him to even suggest such a thing, to me, as that.
He was openly trying to 'game the system'*********, that was, in place, to HELP VETERANS LIKE ME! Staying outwardly cool and calm while being deeply offended inside, I looked at him, and simply said, "On your website, you have it, in writing, on there, what you charge for the rent here. I suggest that's the amount that you list on my lease." So, that is what he did, because, I called him out on it. I should not have had to do that, though. As I said, earlier in this post, I could already tell simply from looking carefully at his website for the apartment building and paying close attention to what he said, and didn't say, on there, that I was dealing with a superficial, dishonest, manipulative, person, in this landlord; and I am no 'bimbo'. Also, since he has many tenants with vouchers that live here, he is well-versed in how it all works; much more, than I was, as I was moving in, with the HUD-VASH voucher. For about a month it covered my, full, rent amount, but when I began to have an income, again, soon, after that, I was told by the housing agency to start paying a monthly prorated amount, of the total rent owed. So, had he written the higher rent amount he tried to, simply because 'the agency would pay that much' it would ALSO have been a HIGHER PRORATE, for ME, when I began to pay a part of the total rent owed. So, in order to line his own pockets with more government assistance money, to me, as a homeless veteran, he would also have been taking advantage of BOTH the housing agency and me by causing us to OWE him MORE.
So, what he does not even know, about me, to this day, unless, or until, he reads this, is that I had already perfectly profiled him-- WHO HE WAS-- before we EVER even met, and shook hands for the first time, and knowing, he would try, to 'play' me, somehow, some way, I was already anticipating that he would 'pull things' on me as he undoubtedly had on others to achieve his greedy and self-serving goals. I'm an intelligent woman. I also used to be in Chess Club, in school, so I was able to anticipate, some of, the things, that he might try, to achieve, at my expense. I was not anticipating, nor AT ALL prepared for, him to do, the ONE thing, that HAS been able to nearly destroy me in my, past, life experiences, however. Which was for him to mentally and emotionally abuse me, in a cold, calculated, misogynistic, hostile, and narcissistic, way. I am probably the ONLY woman who ever became a regular caller to the WCA (the Women's Center for Advancement, here, in Omaha, Nebraska), to their domestic abuse hotline, because of my being so mentally, and emotionally, battered, to the point of hopeless despair at times, by the words and actions of this landlord! This type of male behavior is so destructive to me, that it is my Kryptonite**********. It is, the ONE thing, that, I simply CANNOT handle.
When I tried to confront him about these destructive, distressing, and damaging, behaviors, of his, however, he, very coldly, told me, to "Go find a counselor", so I then called HIS synagogue, a COUPLE of times, to try, to talk to the Rabbi, there, about how THEY thought I should HANDLE these things, that he was doing to me; but both times, as I sat here, sobbing, into the telephone, while their receptionist checked to see if the Rabbi was free, to take my calls, the woman returned to the phone to say that, the Rabbi was out, or unavailable to take my call, at that time. I came here to live, with an open heart and mind toward Jewish people because I am well-acquainted with Bible scripture, as a Christian; and I even pray, daily, for the peace of Jerusalem, as the Bible requests of me. But, after my experience, of this Jewish man who is my landlord, as a living example of his, lifelong, religion, I had to really struggle not to become anti-Semitic! He knows that I am a Christian and that MY faith is central, to who I am, as a person, and he, still, mistreats me. What, he doesn't, seem to keep in mind, is that-- OUR God-- will Judge us BOTH!
I had kept wondering, when I knew, that the apartment was now vacated, by the previous tenant, when the landlord would be showing me the carpet swatches for me to 'select, the one, I wanted, from several', since, according to him-- and any landlord that has ever shown me an apartment (except, ALL the OTHER landlords DID the renovations first, as promised)-- the apartment would be cleaned up and fixed up, prior to my Move-in. Remember, I had been homeless, for months, now, and was understandably anxious to get into my own place, again. So, when I was signing the lease, and getting the keys, I realized, that I was stepping across the, old, lumpy, carpet, that was even threadbare, in certain spots, now, and that, the new carpet was NOT HAPPENING. But, I decided to try to pick my battles, since I was about to finally have a place, to have some privacy, again, now. That doesn't make it right, though; that he lied to me, about it. Apparently, I was 'lucky' that I got the inside of the closets 'freshened', to a more sanitary appearance, by a coat of white paint. When I saw how the closets looked really dingy and dirty, because there were alot of scuffmarks and scrapes along the walls inside them, caused by the, previous, tenant's belongings, I came right out and asked, this landlord, who seemed fairly 'cheap' and 'shifty', from the start, if that would be painted. At first he, actually, responded, to me, with, "Since, that's INSIDE, the closet, NO ONE is ever going to SEE that; once you put YOUR things in there". I replied to HIM, that I WOULD KNOW, that the walls, in MY closet, were covered in the former tenant's DIRT, and that I would NOT PUT MY THINGS INTO ANY CLOSET that LOOKED like THAT. The very fact that I even HAD to assert that, is appalling to me. In ALL my years living in apartments, and dealing with landlords, I NEVER encountered such a LOW-LIFE landlord, as THIS one that I HAVE NOW. He disgusts me as a person.
He reacted to my standing up to him for what is right when I first moved in here, by turning it around on me, and making me the problem by teaching me that if I were going to speak up, rather than, just 'stuff it', about all his wrongdoing, that he would promptly threaten to evict me. His mantra was variations of the hostile retort, to me, to anything I brought up to him, that "If you don't LIKE it, LEAVE."
He made it VERY clear to me that it was MUCH EASIER for HIM to EVICT me and just put another tenant in here, than for him to DO THE RIGHT THING, both as a landlord, and A HUMAN BEING, He has, always, been quick, to say that, he has a WAITING LIST, of people, that were, just like I was-- NEEDING, a place to LIVE-- so he's never been very motivated to do the RIGHT thing over the EASIEST, most EXPEDIENT, thing. When he points out his Waiting List, I simply FEEL SORRY FOR the NEXT 'sucker' he may very well LIE TO, and TAKE ADVANTAGE OF, like he has done to me. Worse, I have observed that he doesn't treat ALL the tenants like he does me, and some others. If he thinks that they LIKE HIM (and I KNOW some of them have TOLD me that THEY DON'T but that they play along to maintain favor) he treats them better. He and I usually manage to be civil to one another, but he knows, as well as I do, that there is no 'love' lost between us. We DON'T like one another. My speaking up, about things, reminds him that, he's not REALLY a very good PERSON, and that, OTHER PEOPLE-- like ME-- KNOW THAT about him, even though, I have NEVER USED THOSE WORDS in my conversations with him. When he tries to act like he is a much better human being, than he is, it really, irritates me, since I know, because of ALL THE THINGS HE HAS DONE TO ME, which were UNCALLED FOR, that HE IS NOT, a 'NICE PERSON'. Nice people DON'T DO THOSE THINGS. People that WANT to be ADMIRED but are only SLICK and SUPERFICIAL are the ones that do the types of things that he has done to me my 4 years here.
This behavior of his-- being quick to punish, and threaten to evict-- is even more egregious to me because of ALL the MANY things that I DID just 'stuff', and DEAL with-- that I NEVER should have even HAD to-- in order to make, a bad situation, here, into something-- and some place-- that I could feel I could live with and in! It wasn't, just that, I didn't get, the new carpet; and the old, dirty-brown, carpet, was even an actual tripping hazard, for me, in places, making it a safety concern. There were GREASE SPOTS, on the walls, that, I had to paint over, myself. I even found a booger, from someone's NOSE, SMEARED, and DRIED, onto the WALL, in the livingroom! At the time, I thought, 'WHAT, ON EARTH?!?' But frankly, later on I noticed that, the maintenance man often lets his, young, kids come over, to the apartment building (they live just down the street), and entertain themselves, as he does things to get everything in vacant apartments in working order prior to a move-in and such. Although, I HAVE seen, TOO MANY, GROWN MEN sticking their finger up their nose to pull out boogers (and I gag just thinking about it, as I see it, in my mind, while I describe it, here), I saw one of these children playing, one day, and doing that, as well, so I realized it could have been a child finding a way to get the booger off their finger, by smearing it off onto my livingroom wall. I did try to clean it off, although, it left some kind of, residual, stain, despite my efforts.
When I was just moving in, I sat down on my toilet to use it for the first time and it rocked-- from side to side, with a very, unstable, wobbly, feel, to it, underneath me. So, I called the landlord, and told him. He responded that it didn't matter, as no water would leak out from under it or anything; even though it had something loose, somewhere! I have always had landlords respond, quickly, and well, to any maintenance requests, I have made, as a tenant. Not, this guy! He indicated that he did not intend to do ANY type of REPAIR to this-- rocking-- toilet; which would mean that, several times, a day, every day, that I lived here, I would have to deal with that unstable sensation beneath my bare butt, while trying to accomplish my bodily eliminations. I actually had to ask AGAIN, during that phone call, that it be FIXED, because THAT was UNACCEPTABLE TO ME, that, I would have to deal with this issue, EVERY time I went to the bathroom here! The maintenance man came and stuck some pieces of plastic underneath the toilet, saying he would return to cut off the parts, of those, that were sticking out. I, already, knew, from my, first, interactions with both, this landlord, and this maintenance man, that NEITHER OF THEM is a MAN OF THEIR WORD. Since 'water seeks its own level', it was obvious to me, why these two ended up working together. At least, the maintenance man, was likeable, in his personality, for the most part. I never found ANYTHING, really likeable, about the landlord. EVERY SINGLE TIME, I have, EVER, had to, deal with him, has been a trial, or a tribulation, for me; even if, only because, I have had to try, my best, to be respectful, toward him, BECAUSE he is my LANDLORD, when I DON'T, RESPECT HIM, AT ALL. How, could I?!? I have SELF-RESPECT, and, he has MISTREATED ME, in MANY ways, taking, unfair advantage, of my VULNERABILITY.
When I move into apartments, the landlords give me a Move-In Inspection Sheet that I am to fill out and return to them right at the start. I was able to really take a good look at this apartment when I moved in, because for a couple of weeks or so I still had my belongings in the storage unit that I put them all into just before I went into the homeless shelter. (So, I just bought a lawn chair cushion, to sleep on, down on the floor, and a plastic porch chair. Then, I went and got my smallest TV out of the storage unit, and brought it here on the bus. I was kind of 'camping out' in here, that way, until, the Moving Veterans Forward organization was finally able to send 3 guys to help me move the rest of my things, from storage into this apartment. I had also rented a U-haul truck, and I got as many things, as I could handle, by myself, out of storage, before they could come, and help me, because, they were not able, to do that, for awhile. It was August [2017]. I was concerned, that my belongings-- which I could not afford to replace-- might be melting down, inside the storage unit, from their extended time there, in the heat and humidity.)
This landlord had the nerve to complain to me in a different conversation between us about HOW HARD, it was, to READ my Move-In Inspection Sheet, that I'd filled out and returned to him, because it was covered in all my comments, on both the front AND the back, as I documented the awful condition this place was in that he gave me, to live in. I responded that, it was THAT FULL, because, there was THAT MUCH, to SAY, about the CONDITION IT WAS IN; and that, he could always use a copy machine, to ENLARGE THE WRITING so that he could READ IT, if he wanted. Can you IMAGINE, someone COMPLAINING that you FILLED UP your INSPECTION SHEET COMPLETELY, making it DIFFICULT to READ, and not showing, any, SHAME or AWARENESS, that, it was like that, due to documenting the POOR condition, of the place, YOU had given them, to LIVE in, and, fill out the Inspection Sheet, for?I have NEVER had ANY landlord turn over an apartment to me, after the previous tenant moved out, and NOT CLEAN IT AFTER THEM, until THIS landlord. >sigh< I was insulted and angry; but I was also so glad to not be homeless, anymore, that I just, 'stuffed it', initially, anyway, and tried, my hardest, to do, the best, I could, with a bad situation, which was, SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN, a MUCH BETTER ONE than it was! I have NO IDEA AT ALL, WHY this landlord did this to me; treated me this way. But, I felt like, I DESERVED SOME KIND of an ANSWER about that, from him, after I spent 3 full months cleaning this place up, to make it an ACCEPTABLE place, for me, to live. Before, I tell you all the things that I was doing, during that time, I'm going to tell you what his ANSWER was, to me, about HIS DOING THAT.
I have continued, to feel the sting, from this landlord's lies and his betrayal of my trust, every single day, that I have lived here, for, 4 long years, now. Everywhere, I look, I see, these things, that he DIDN'T DO, that he had assured me, would be done, and that, any other landlord, I, have ever had, WOULD HAVE DONE, rather than, present ME, as a NEW tenant, with the FORMER one's filth. It is obvious, to me, that THIS landlord has the ability to live without a good conscience. I did, all this, deep-cleaning, painting, staining, de-bugging, and more; sometimes, crying out in pain, from my having to get down on my knees for so long, to get some of these things done. It was, very hard on my, then, 61-year-old, body; but, also, it was very hard on my soul, that this man had DONE THIS TO ME deliberately, and then, simply shrugged it off, the day that I, finally, confronted him about doing it. He puts up this facade, that, others often buy into, but that, I never have, or will. He doesn't seem to care that God knows that these things I am saying, and I am describing, about him, are, ALL, true. Luke 12:2 (King James Bible): "For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed, neither hid, that shall not be known."
This tenant was a disabled veteran. This building is a place where even previously homeless veterans-- like me, and, other, lower income, individuals, live. When he first told me that, I just could not believe, this was true, which is why I had called the landlord, right after he told me that; and is when, the landlord confirmed that indeed, this was, all too true, and then he hung up on me, rather than give me an answer, when I asked him, why, he, did not, at least, let other tenants know, this, was going on, in the building, where they lived, with all, their possessions, to give them a fair chance, to protect themselves, and their personal property. That same day, the landlord was over here at the building and I heard that tenant telling him he had bedbugs, again, because I had asked him to please tell the landlord, about it, himself. The landlord, was not showing him compassion, or concern, about this. He simply sounded annoyed, and even a bit irate, that this man told me, about it!
This very kind veteran, this man, this tenant, whose life mattered, and who was a humble man, with, a heart of gold-- unlike, this landlord-- was, eventually, found, lying dead, in his apartment, from drinking himself to death, after a long struggle, with alcohol abuse, that, I only knew about, because, the landlord TOLD ME THAT.
It's, one thing, for me, as a tenant, to let, the landlord, know, about things, that I may see, or hear, on this property, which, are concerning, enough, that I think he needs to know about that. It's an entirely different thing, when, the landlord, who needs, to know, all these things, tells tenants, about, other tenants', private, and, personal, business-- especially, when, that is, very, private, and, personal, things. The landlord GOSSIPS about tenants, to other tenants, USING OUR NAMES, as he does that. I have had, other tenants, tell ME, things, that he has said, ABOUT ME!
One of the main reasons, that I loathe this landlord, ties in to what I shared here, about all that Jeramy (and, his young thug-friends) did here, before he, ever, got evicted. It was ALOT! Which, affected ME, as his nearest neighbor; and ultimately the whole building. Not only, did that, HVAC unit, that his friends damaged, doing whatever, they, were doing, to it, present a safety hazard, since, it malfunctioned, after they did that, and continued to need repairs, after the next tenant moved in there, after him, but, although, both, the landlord, and his maintenance man, had been letting it go on and on, and were even, downplaying, or ignoring it, to, some extent, I overheard, another, tenant, telling, the maintenance man, as they stood, right outside my apartment door, one day, that Jeramy's gang of friends had been messing with peoples' cars, in the back tenant parking lot, and that, some of their belongings were tampered with, and/or missing from their car. They were trouble, for all the people, that lived here. Yet, it took, many, months, after, I moved in, to finally see Jeramy evicted, and it was, only, after he got a longer jail term. I don't even know, how long, he had lived here, before, I moved in. But, I doubt that, his behaviors, or his circle of friends, that he hung out with, were any different, then.
This landlord is so CHEAP. Yet, every Holiday season, he issues a Tenant Letter to his (financially, MUCH LESS WELL OFF) tenants that live here, to describe in very, self-indulgent, suddenly sentimental-sounding, detail, how, all of the money, that he makes, as a landlord, from all of us, paying him our rent (many, of whom, are poor, or vulnerable, enough to get agency assistance with rent, to even live here) affords him, and, his, family, a very nice, living, and lifestyle; which, because, it's the HOLIDAYS, once again, he, apparently, ANNUALLY, avails himself of, TELLING US, ABOUT. It's a tone-deaf way, which he has (when heard, through the context of, how, he treats me, throughout the year), of him, saying, that, he appreciates, what, WE, DO, FOR HIM, and HIS quality, of life. For my first holiday season here he gave me that bottle of wine which I gave away. But, BECAUSE he was often so rude, cold, and even, threatening, to me, throughout, the rest, of the year, every, year, I told him I would much rather, that he NOT give me, any 'holiday token', at all, after, treating me, those ways, the OTHER, 364, DAYS, of each year! Even so, he gave me, a $10.00, ALDI gift card, that, I couldn't use online, and wouldn't go out during a pandemic to use; which also I would have only had the equivalent of $7.00, to spend, after spending $3.00, round trip, on the city buses, between the fares ($1.25, each way), and the transfers (25 cents, each way), I would need, to take two, separate, buses, each way, to get to, the, nearest, ALDI store, from this apartment building, to USE, the gift card. So, I, still, have it; sitting here. I would have really liked for him to have just GIVEN ME THE MONEY for EVEN A LITTLE of ALL the TRASH I have PICKED UP here, ON HIS PROPERTY! That would have been better than him NEVER PAYING ME ANYTHING for ALL THAT LABOR these 4 years, like he has done. Besides all that, though, how could he, possibly, think, that one, small, annual, gesture, could ever, counteract all the genuine dismay and distress, that he has caused me, by how, he has, behaved, toward me, due to, his LACK of COMPASSION, and CHARACTER, ALL YEAR LONG? For ME, to TRY to have a happy holiday season, the LAST thing, that, I EVER, needed, OR, wanted, was, HOLIDAY REMINDERS, of HIM! ANY thoughts AT ALL, of him, raises my blood pressure, and NOT, from, any, good, or positive, thoughts, about him; because, I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY, of those, about this person. I have just disciplined myself, to get along with this, mental and emotional, abuser (in my experience of him) while I'm here. (By the way, when I moved in, he told me, he would pay me, for any work, that I did, around the building. Yet, when I let him know things I did he never paid me.)
I sent these texts to a friend, about this landlord's treatment, of me:
"Landlord apologized for rude treatment of me, in text this week, finally, on his Jewish Holy Day of contrition/atonement but then on same day very rude to me in person when at [apt] building. I've called WCA Abuse Hotline more than once because so stressed out by him and feeling he's abusive. He has such poor character and lies so much." [And, from another text:] "He is truly disgusting." [And, another text:] "I HATE interacting with (landlord) as he's often rude etc and I HATE being disrespected! I try to ONLY deal with him when I HAVE to because of his CRAP!"
It's almost been an annual event in my life, here, that every Yom Kippur (or Day of Atonement), which is the holiest day, in the Jewish calendar, this landlord has not wanted to go into that service, having wronged me [which, he KNOWS, very well, he HAS]. The focus, of Yom Kippur, is on, what kind of a person, a Jew was during the past year, as well as on them improving on that, with better behavior, going forward. It is, designed for, deep introspection, by the individual, who is to ask for the forgiveness of those that they have wronged. After the first couple of years, of my landlord, apologizing, to me, on Yom Kippur, it, really, became very superficial-seeming, for me, because he never, really, changed his ways. When I pointed that out, to him, he simply quit offering any more apologies, to me; but, the problematic behaviors of his, toward me, never, truly, improved. At least not significantly, or for any, prolonged, period of time. To, 'clear his conscience'-- for, his own sake, as near as I could tell, he would, send me an, obligatory, text [and I daresay, a superficial one too, since he never really changes how he treats me] to (TRY TO) make amends, before, going to Temple, that evening. [I am ALWAYS CRYING OUT, to God, about this man's poor treatment of me, too; so, He knows, VERY WELL-- including, DIRECTLY FROM ME!-- what, it is, that, this man, may be feeling (at least, temporarily) guilty ABOUT!] Here is, part of, one of, his texts, to me: "And I ask you for forgiveness, for any actions, I have taken, that may have wronged you in any way." This repentance of his never lasts long, though, before he is right back at it; wronging me, again, and again, and again, and again . . . .
Last Yom Kippur was the FIRST one in the 4 years I have lived here that he never told me he was sorry, for wronging me. I did not NEED, his apologies, anyway, as much as I NEEDED to be TREATED RIGHT BY HIM; which seems to be something, he's not capable of doing! He has a habit of getting out of being held accountable by conveniently claiming to be busy, every time that he doesn't want to deal with something. There were so many times, he simply hung up on me, when I tried to hold him accountable about issues in the building that happened to be things that his own Tenant Letters said that, tenants SHOULD tell him, and said he wanted to KNOW about. From the very beginning it was this landlord that set the precedent, by, his, hanging up, on me, whenever I called him about my tenant concerns and he didn't want to deal with it, at all. When the day came, that his mistreating me, for so long, and so much, got to me, to the point that in my sheer frustration and anger, I, finally, hung up on him, HE ACTUALLY HAD THE NERVE, or, the LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS, about HIS OWN BEHAVIOR, to TEXT ME THIS, after I did that:
[The landlord's text, to me:] "I don't appreciate when people hang up on me. It's rude. I will let the tenant know that you placed his package on the inside of the front doorway." I had called him, to try to get a misdelivered package to a tenant, on the other side of the building, whom, I didn't even know, or have a way to call. I had, first, tried, to take it over, to them, to help them, get it, but, because there was so much ice on the sidewalk (which the landlord never did a very good job of eradicating) it was impassable, so I couldn't. The landlord, did not want to bother, helping me, and, that other tenant, with this, when I called him, about it, though, asking for him to help, by simply calling the tenant, and letting them know where their package was, because it was misdelivered. So I gave up, and hung up, after telling the landlord, "JUST NEVER MIND THEN!" That, was when, he sent me, that text, and also said, NOW he would DO it, after I had already ended the phone call because of HIS rudeness and lack of cooperation, when I asked him to help, since he was saying, he wouldn't! He just makes himself look so dumb, to me, when he acts like that. He is SUCH A SELF-CENTERED JERK, that, he ACTUALLY texted me, [saved on my phone:] "I simply don't like it when people hang up on me." Yet, he has had NO problem AT ALL doing that to me, MULTIPLE times! He's unbelievable!
It is both pathetic and hilarious to me that, when he comes into the apartment to change HVAC filters, every 3 months, he talks about how he does not like Trump; likely because, he knows I loathe Trump. I believe it's just an obvious attempt by him to establish some semblance of rapport with me, for the few minutes that we are around one another, while he changes the filter. Given a choice, I would have, much, preferred he had chosen to be courteous and respectful toward me when I brought my valid tenant concerns to him, rather than him offering, instead, these trite expressions of commonality, to try, to establish, a more personal connection, with me, which doesn't exist, and never will. What, I find, so amusing, about it, is that, he operates out of a similar type of personality, to Trump's! I see, those two, as having so much in common. They are both liars. By all accounts, both men are unfaithful, to their wives. Both, want, undeserved, respect, and admiration, which their words and actions HAVE NOT EARNED THEM. They are both quick to want to get rid of any person, in their world, that CALLS THEM OUT, on their misdeeds, or tries to hold them accountable. They're both convinced, they're BETTER men than they ARE. They, also, BOTH treat people in ways that they won't stand for anyone doing to them. They both try to override truth, facts and history by simply stating some complete revision of the actual conversation or interaction, that has nothing to do with what, really, happened, or how things truly are. I don't know why, they do this! It is, so pathetic, though, and, so, self-serving. Perhaps, because of, their own ignorance, they truly think, that, someone, they are saying this CRAP to, will actually believe it (and, the sad thing is, they are, sometimes, rewarded, for their efforts to conceal the truth and be deceptive through this attempted manipulation of the truth, because there are people who are too trusting, naive, or unaware, of what is really going on, with this; that do 'take it at face value' and think that it is the truth, when, it could not be further, from, the truth). As far as, their character, I see this landlord as a near-twin, to Trump; and (he says) he doesn't LIKE Trump.
I have helped this landlord, and the other tenants living here, many times, during my 4 years here. Because I live beside the locked front security door, of (this side of) the building, I have often helped the other tenants get their FedEx, UPS, DHL, Amazon, and other packages, even, when, they live over on the other side, of the building, because the key fits, and opens, both sets of the locked, front and back, security doors. I have even walked outside in extremely cold weather, on slippery sidewalks, covered in ice, which, put me at real risk of falling, and being seriously injured. In my 60s, now, it could be life threatening, for me. I've taken the, extra, risk, because, even, the tenants, who live, other there, on the other side, will not, usually, bother, to help anyone else like that. I have cleaned the laundry room up, from other tenants' messes, and I have often pulled weeds, from the bushes, and flower bed, in the yard, as well as, picked up litter, which, the wind blows into the yard, and/or people simply toss, there. Whenever we have a severe storm it often blows branches off the trees, from tiny twigs, to very big limbs. So, I'll go outside, and pick them up, myself; dragging, some of them, over to the dumpster that are even longer than 2 times my height! This, is the type of tenant I have been, here.
Just after I had told the landlord, according to his own directives to us, about her propping open the door again, near the end of March, when the weather was still quite cold here, I had begun to see strange things inside my apartment, that just didn't make sense to me. Things that had fallen, which never had, before. Things that were knocked over. Then, I saw what looked like chocolate crumbs, from the cake I had baked, which were, right beside the pan, sitting on the stove. It never dawned on me, that those could be anything else, so I had even picked some up, with my fingertip, to eat, as I, obliviously, wondered if my usually careful cleanup in my home had somehow been neglected, this time, leaving crumbs behind. The pan was covered, to keep the cake fresh. They had a flat taste; not chocolatey at all. (Later on, when I finally realized what those 'crumbs' were, I gagged, and felt like throwing up!) I had also thought that I heard odd noises in the apartment, at times. Especially late at night, while I worked at my computer. Then, days later, I noticed more of those 'chocolate cake crumbs'-looking things, on my dining table placemat. So, I started looking at them closer. I was horrified, as I realized, they were MOUSE POOPS! During this quarantine, I was in, due to a deadly pandemic, I had a MOUSE in my apartment with me! By the time I knew what I was dealing with, I started looking, everywhere, and found more and more, mouse poops, on almost everything that I owned. I got a, humane, catch and release, mouse trap, from Amazon, but, I never caught the mouse. I know, it was in here, and the odd occurrences, that I eventually realized were rodent activities in my home, started happening just after I caught the girl propping open the front security door to the outside again, so I know that was how, and when, it got in the building; and then right into my apartment, under my door, which was, the first one, that it came to. I actually saw the mouse in my apartment a couple of times too, and felt it scurry over my feet, as I sat typing at my computer in the, otherwise dark, room, late at night. I slept poorly, with the light on, for weeks, after seeing and hearing, mouse activities, going on in my bedroom, too. By the time that I finally knew the mouse had, either, left, or died (perhaps, somewhere in my belongings, where I have not come across it yet), I went through everything I owned doing 'damage control'. It took me a MONTH, to check for, and clean things after, mouse poops being left, as souvenirs, of an experience that, I daresay, no one else would want in their home, including, 'Miss Door Propper', who lives, up on the third floor; unscathed, by this, wildlife she allowed in, due to self-centeredness. It's no wonder, I'd finally HAD IT!
All of that, aside, even though, he says, to us tenants it's also a lease violation, I have never seen him evict anybody for doing it-- even when they are a perpetual perpetrator. So, based on the landlord's own inaction about it, I don't believe that another tenant confronting the person directly about it, is going to ever resolve it.
In MY case, as the tenant, that, had, both, confronted her, about it, and, told him, about it (repeatedly), JUST AS HE INTRUCTS US TO DO, he started the process of putting ME out of MY apartment, which then, inevitably, caused that to became an eventual necessity, because of, the further complications, that it caused me, in my housing situation. I have to meet guidelines and regulations to receive HUD-VASH rent assistance, while living here. The position that he put me into, with this long, drawn out, process (that forced ME to move out of MY home, rather than, him, do the honest, and honorable, thing; even regarding, his very own, Tenant Rules and Violations), made my continuing to live in this place, impossible for me, to be able to do, at a certain point. All that I am describing now that he has put me through, started with his email response to my showing frustration because of this ongoing issue, with the security door being propped open, which, allowed a rodent into MY HOME, that then either, pooped on, chewed on, or, even shredded, most, of what, I own! (Which, I, then, spent, an ENTIRE MONTH, TRYING, TO CLEAN UP, AFTER!) This is what his solution was-- NOT, to the PROBLEM, but my FRUSTRATION, from the problem; that, I HAD, DARED, to DISPLAY, to him, in my email to him, after 3 YEARS, at that point, of my having to put up with it-- affecting my HOME, and my SAFETY. He, responded, with an email, to me, that included this 'bombshell', in it:
So, I became, QUITE LITERALLY, TERRIFIED, now, because of THIS, hanging over my head, every day, as I had NO idea how to look for another place to live when I am living in Total Quarantine, to TRY to STAY ALIVE, in a PANDEMIC. (He knows I have health issues, and I am quarantining, etc., because of conversations where I have told him, those things.) I've become, SO STRESSED, and, SO DESPONDENT, that I can BARELY FUNCTION, now. Ultimately, I had to live under THIS threat, of his, for exactly A YEAR. From the end of my 3rd year to the end of my 4th year of living in this apartment; trying to endure, his punitive, controlling, threats, to me. At the time that he did this, to me, I didn't know, it would go on for a whole year, especially since he kept extending it on a month-to-month basis; never removing the overriding eviction threat, that hung over my head, like a guillotine waiting to be the end, for me, while every moth he 'allowed' me to stay in my apartment for another month. He made himself look like 'Mr. Nice Guy' to my housing specialist, who, sadly, ended up believing his bullshit and taking his side, even though I had told her, all along, what he was like, and what he was putting me through. I even asked her, several times-- sometimes, while crying, inconsolably, because of, this asshole's mental, and emotional, abuse, toward me-- to PLEASE, find me another place to live because, he was controlling me to leave me to suffer in silence, after he wronged me, and it kept me continually off balance in my mind and emotions.
On the day of the required housing inspection, my housing specialist came along, with the housing inspector, for moral support for me and as an advocate because she KNEW that I was in an IMPOSSIBLE situation, now. Although, they were very complimentary, of how CLEAN the apartment was, the inspector still told me that she had to flunk me, because the boxes WERE a violation. The housing specialist intervened on my behalf, saying, "But, they are, only, here, because she is going to move out", so the housing inspector was persuaded to go ahead and pass me, for this inspection. However, not long after, the housing specialist had to send me the required Recertification paperwork that must be done annually to continue to receive the rental assistance. But, I knew that I couldn't continue having housing assistance here because of the position this landlord's eviction threat had put me in: I would SURELY flunk the NEXT inspection when the inspector returned to see that all these boxes were STILL STACKED ALL OVER, AND that I HADN'T MOVED! So, there was really no point, in Recertifying, when I would only HAVE to lose the assistance, anyway, due to not moving, and not being able to pass the inspection, this way. So, I didn't recertify. I trusted God's leading, that He was taking me out of this situation and into a much better one; and I decided that, come hell or high water, that I'd had MORE THAN ENOUGH of this landlord's BULLCRAP complicating my life, in so many ways, so constantly, and keeping me under such RELENTLESS stress, to the point that, it was damaging my health. Even being, life-threatening, at times, because my blood pressure readings went up higher than they ever had in my life, and I often couldn't get them back down to safe, healthy, levels, for an extended period of time. I knew, that, I HAD TO MOVE! I was not sure, then, that all the details, I needed for that to happen, would come together for me. But God had been confirming, this 'impossible dream', of mine-- this deepest Desire Of My Heart-- for months, and I knew, to just take each step, in faith, in Him, because I NEEDED TO MOVE. Living THIS way would NEVER be God's Best for His daughter!
That makes me feel like I still get the better end of the deal.
Shalom,
Deborah Robinson"
I was talking to a neighbor, yesterday, who remembers, how I was, so bright, and bouncy, when I was moving in, because I was just SO GLAD to not be HOMELESS, anymore! We both agreed that NOW I look like a different person. I rarely smile. I cry. ALOT. I am, constantly, jumpy, and ill at ease. I, often, feel, VERY ANGRY, and VIOLATED. I am very withdrawn. My personality has become, extremely, subdued. I behave, very, nervously, very tentatively, because, I NEVER feel, really, SAFE, or SECURE, living here. I don't even feel like, I'm LIVING, here. I feel like I'm simply 'existing', here; 'surviving', here, and, doing, those, things, poorly. Miserably. Yes, having the pandemic going on, for so long, and, staying quarantined, all this time, could cause someone-- such as, this landlord-- to pass off how I have changed, so much, for the worse, while living here, as simply being, because, of, all that. I can say, with certainty, though, that the majority of the stress, and negative emotions that I feel, are from this, toxic-to-me, relationship, with this problematic landlord! I actually said to him once that the two of us are like oil and water to each other. I definitely feel demoralized, due to his effect on my mental health. I was confident, smiling, strong, and outgoing, when, I came to live here-- even though, I had just spent the summer, first in the homeless shelter, and then in the VA Medical Center (another topic, which will need, its own, post, to explain, and to describe, at some point). Largely, because of the threats, from this landlord, I grew, more and more, distraught, depressed and despondent. It got so bad, for me, and so dark, for me, that, it got to the point, that I was saying, to God, "Either get me out of here, and away, from this, mental, and emotional, abuser, of me, or just, bring me Home, to You; because, I CANNOT GO ON, THIS WAY, ANY LONGER. I cannot live like this. I promised myself, after my last marriage, to a man, that I came to see as, 'the son of Satan' because of how he, constantly, tormented me-- especially, mentally, and emotionally-- that I would NEVER ALLOW MYSELF to be ABUSED by ANYONE EVER AGAIN, in ANY way. Yet, I had felt trapped, by living in this apartment, because of the rent assistance, I received, from the housing agency, and then, on top of that, my feeling, truly, terrified to go out into the, worldwide, pandemic, to move away. But now, for four long, horribly stressful, years, I had another abusive man in my life. Only, this time, it wasn't even a personal relationship. It was, MY LANDLORD!
This man KNOWS, how MUCH his own behaviors CREATED and CONTRIBUTED TO MY MISERY, in living here. I believe, he did it, deliberately, to make his life easier by running me off, through, making it intolerable, for me, to be here. I think that he did that because-- from the very beginning-- before I had even MOVED IN, he had already DONE ME WRONG, NOT KEPT HIS WORD, but DIDN'T WANT to EVER be HELD ACCOUNTABLE, for all the ways, and times, that HE HAS DONE THAT TO ME. I think, he absolutely knows, THIS IS ON HIM, and not on me; but he, really doesn't care, to do the right thing. Because of, who HE IS, and, because-- just as he ALWAYS SAID-- he has a WAITING LIST of other vulnerable, low income, folks waiting, for a chance, to live here, that I am SURE, he HOPES, will let him off the hook, when, he does this crap to them. It wasn't-- HE WASN'T!-- ACCEPTABLE to ME. I haven't always been poor, or homeless, or this vulnerable. I have lived in a few luxury apartments, at some of the best addresses in Omaha. My self-esteem has been BADLY BATTERED, by these, much tougher, recent years, but I HAVE IT. I RESPECT MYSELF. And, I DON'T RESPECT THIS LANDLORD. He has consistently, done, his very best, to undermine, truth, and, decency, to make things easier, for himself. But, I know the truth. MORE, THAN THAT, God, knows, the truth! I know, WHO HE IS; and, GOD, KNOWS, WHO HE IS! God, brought ME here, to give, this man, some things, about himself-- and, how he treats others-- to REALLY THINK, HARD, ABOUT. As, I, move on, soon, I THANK GOD, for BOTH OF THESE THINGS. That, God accomplished what He could, through me, as an example of a different type, of human being, than, this landlord chooses to be, and that, with NOTHING MORE that I can contribute to the situation, God is FINALLY freeing me to LEAVE!
Pieter @KievitPieter
The darker their world the deeper they loathe being around you, they’re overwhelmed by the light within you that will uncover their deception. They just [seek to discredit] you because you know the truth about them. This is when the narcissist will most likely discard [NOTE: as in, evict, or threaten to evict you; to silence] you.
Songwriters: Adam Lambert / Ilsey Juber / Tommy English
As I walked with him to the door of my apartment, after showing him as much as he would focus on, of all, that I had done, to upgrade this place, to an acceptable condition, for me to live in, I asked him, "WHY did you give me such a dirty place to move into, after you had said that I would get new carpet and that it would be fixed up, nicely, like Roger's apartment is, that you showed me?" With NO sign of SHAME, on this man's face, AT ALL, he arrogantly jutted his chin up and out, and smirking, at me, as he looked down, at me, from his taller height, he simply said, "Once YOU SIGNED THE LEASE, you AGREED to TAKE IT, AS IS"; and, walked off.
When, everything, that I did, to this place, was FINALLY done-- although I should NOT have EVER had to do ANY OF THAT AT ALL, I'd called this landlord and asked him to come to my apartment, and see what I had done with the place. I planned to take him on a room-by-room tour, telling him, every, single, thing that I did, to make this filthy, disgusting place that he had handed ME the KEYS to into a clean, sanitary, home, for myself. I was finally going to get some answers, and hold him, properly, accountable, for doing that, to me! He had enough shame to know, that he did me wrong, and he really didn't want to hear about it from me then or ever.
As soon as he entered my apartment, on the day that I had asked him to come to it so I could show him ALL THE WORK that I HAD DONE on it, which, he should've had done, by his maintenance man, and himself, he, immediately, began trying to use up the allotted "15 minutes" that he was allowing me, for this, by doing all he could to distract me, from the start. I knew, he wouldn't extend, the time, for me, to cover all the things, that I had to show him, and that he was, obviously, simply trying to, USE IT UP, because, he avoids, being held accountable, for his actions. I was determined, that his efforts to get and keep me off topic, and try to change it into, something, other than, what I'd asked him here for, were not, going to work! He refused to focus his eyes on the first thing that I had to show him-- which was the wall that had a large, brownish, oily, stain on it when I moved in; which, I had worked hard on, to remove the oil, and then paint, and paint, and paint over, until I finally had, the clean, white, wall, that HE should have provided me, as the NEW tenant. Instead, he went the other way. Averting, his gaze, he looked intently at a personal photo, of mine, of some family members, instead, which was sitting near the door. He began questioning ME, about that, and because I was focused on the things that I wanted to show him in this apartment, I felt impatient with that, and in my trying to get him, to refocus, on that, I finally offered up, the BOTTOM LINE explanation, about the people, he was inquiring about, and commenting on, in my photo; which was a statement I made but was NONE of HIS BUSINESS. He always feels socially 'slippery', whenever I try to deal with him, to converse with him, and
I feel extremely uneasy, around him, because of this, about him. Interacting, with him, always feels rather like, I am trying to manage a writhing, poisonous, snake!
The photo, was a family photo, of my ex-husband, Jim (my second husband), his second wife, and my son, Jay, and his adopted sister. My landlord asked me, who they were, and he was not willing to focus on what he was, actually, there to see, until, he got the answers, he kept pressing for, about this photo, as he continued to stare at it intently. Frustrated, and aware of the irreplaceable minutes passing by, I gave in to his inquisitiveness and gave him rapid responses that got right to the very heart of the matter, about these people, in the photo, so he would have, nothing, left, to feign interest in, in order to continue to waste this valuable time. After explaining that the woman was Jim's wife, and hearing his comments about how she looked so much older than a woman that would be his wife, and then he asked me why I wasn't still married to Jim, I, hastily, responded, in a summation statement, meant, to move him along, away from all that; saying that, Jim and I had an amazing sexual chemistry, but, he wasn't faithful, when we were married, so, I had divorced him. The, analogous, wording, that I had used, for it, however, was that, 'Jim and I were like two gerbils, in heat', with one another. My landlord DID leave behind his fixation on the photo when I ended that discussion, with my remark, but he still didn't want to focus on the real subject matter, that this time was allotted for. He clearly demonstrated that he had NO INTEREST AT ALL in my attempt to hold him fully accountable, for renting this place to me, in such a poor condition. He FINALLY walked over to where I was STANDING, next to what I was trying to show him about the apartment, but instead of allowing me to talk about that, he unexpectedly embraced me, in a sudden, lingering, frontal hug; full body contact; as I stood there, in shock, and dismay, not knowing, what to do! All, that I could THINK of, as I STOOD THERE, FROZEN and CONFUSED, by that, embrace, was that if I screamed, or slapped him, or reacted, in any way, negatively, to this physical contact that he was initiating with me, that I would VERY LIKELY end up, being HOMELESS, again. Thank God, that, was the ONLY time, he did that, to me. Besides my not liking him, from the start, he also happened to be a married man.
His doing that was not intended as a gesture of comforting me, because, I wasn't upset, as I said it. I was very matter-of-fact about it. I was simply frustrated that this landlord was not focusing, on the work I had done to clean this apartment up (which, I should not, have had, to do, at all!) and, I was racing, against the clock, in those, few, minutes, he was, allotting me, for this tour, since, he had agreed to only 15 minutes, for me, to show him. So, as I grew impatient, with his, wasting, this time, that meant alot to me, after how hard I had worked, for 3 months, as I worked day-after-day to make this dirty, greasy, dead-roach-filled apartment into my clean, and livable, home, now, I went to the clearest answer that I could give, to his interrogating me about my family photo, so there would be nothing else he could try to ask me, about it. Since he came right over, to me, as soon as I made the comparison to Jim and I being like 2 gerbils, in heat, toward one another, and grabbed me in this all encompassing hug (during which I had plenty of time while frozen from shock in this embrace of his, to think, several, different things-- all of which were very troubling to me), it did not come across as anything other than a sexual pass, at me; even though this man didn't say anything as he stood holding me, like that. After all, he was a married man, himself. I had described, divorcing, MY husband for unfaithfulness, and lack of commitment, to me, and our marriage. So, this landlord, could not have taken that as being any kind of 'an invitation', by me, to engage in infidelity, with him, in this context. Behind, his own, wife's back! He never did anything like that again but that once made me question his motive, especially, because of him asking me all those personal questions, primarily about Jim and I, and his embracing me, right after the comment that I made about that.
Here, is what shape the apartment was in, when he told me to come (from being an inpatient IN the hospital which he let me know that someone from HUD-VASH had TOLD him), and sign the lease right away, or he would give the apartment to someone else, and I would remain homeless longer. [I went after HUD-VASH, for telling him that, because, that is a DIRECT VIOLATION, AGAINST HIPAA, privacy, regulations; and after a lengthy wait, during the VA investigation, of that claim, I at least, finally, got both an admission and apology from the VA because of that.] I thought, at first, the the light outside on the patio had an electrical issue or was broken, in some other way, since it didn't come on when I flipped the switch, as I checked everything, to fill out the Move-In Inspection Sheet. (Because of injuring my hand, and getting behind on my bills, I had lost my, previous, apartment, and was now coming into this apartment after my being homeless; so, I was basically BROKE, when I moved in. I only had, a few, dollars, left, in my bank account. So, everything that I had to purchase myself, or somehow come up with, to clean up and repair all these things, in this apartment, placed, even more of, a FINANCIAL HARDSHIP, on me. This landlord owns several different properties around Omaha yet he put me in such a position! I was able to get some white paint from him, to paint walls in this place, but THAT was IT. Everything else, that I needed, to clean this place up, I had to get from the various charitable organizations or assistance agencies, with the help of HUD-VASH social workers. It is, a SHAME, on SO MANY LEVELS, that this landlord felt, completely, comfortable, DOING THIS, TO ME; but my having moved in here as a HOMELESS VETERAN, makes his doing it, DOUBLY, DESPICABLE.) I had to buy lightbulbs, for the patio light fixture and others, in the apartment. The patio lightbulb wasn't burned out; it WAS MISSING ALTOGETHER. The landlord certainly could afford to buy lightbulbs, for these fixtures, more than I. A few were burned out, but, the lightbulb, in the kitchen, was coated in grease!
Apparently, the guy that lived here, before I did, fried everything, that he cooked,
but, the landlord, left it to me, to replace, burned out, and grease-covered, bulbs. Here is one of my documentation photos that I took of HOW BAD IT REALLY WAS:
Apparently, the guy that lived here, before I did, fried everything, that he cooked,
but, the landlord, left it to me, to replace, burned out, and grease-covered, bulbs. Here is one of my documentation photos that I took of HOW BAD IT REALLY WAS:
This is a photo of the greasy lightbulb, that was under the hood, above the stove, in the kitchen, when I moved in. It was above where I would cook my food, but it was so nasty-looking that I bought a new, clean, lightbulb, with the little money I had, then, to replace it; as well as, other, lightbulbs, around, the apartment, that, were dirty, or simply missing, altogether. I have NEVER had ANY landlord give me any apartment in this poor condition, except for THIS landlord! It is disrespectful.
I had to hang, two, pictures in my livingroom, to strategically cover damage done to the walls, that the landlord either hadn't really tried to repair, or had tried, and failed, to repair, before I moved in. His maintenance man is the one who does the work, around here, for the most part. But, the landlord is responsible, for the way an apartment looks, when asking a new tenant to sign a lease, to move in. I tried to at least clean the old, and tired, dingy brown, carpet, that is all throughout the apartment; a couple of times. It didn't help much. There are raised ridges running throughout the carpet; some of which are high enough to be a tripping hazard, to me, and all of which are unsightly, to see. I have to try not to think about this old carpeting, in here, because every step I take on it reminds me that the landlord's a liar, and that he basically duped a desperate, homeless, veteran, by palming off his dirty and disappointing apartment on me, most likely because of my need and my vulnerability making it more likely that I would move in and then be willing to do all HIS dirty work, FOR him, to clean it all up. As a, 128-pound, 5'9", female, I also seem to appear, to, some, people, that I encounter, as being, some 'delicate' creature, some feminine 'flower', with no emotional backbone or mental strength, to me. People making that, mistaken, assessment of me, are often quite shocked to see that, I am ALOT tougher, AND stronger, than they ever SIZED ME UP to be! I believe that includes this landlord. I may have stuck around, after he STUCK ME with this place to live, but, I also have had my say, about how he has treated me, including in this lengthy, detailed, blog post. My blog has readers all over the U.S. as well as in 42 countries, around the world. Because he has caused a 'dark night of the soul', for me (for FOUR YEARS!), he is written about here, in this blog post. While not specifically named here (which, WAS TEMPTING, I ADMIT), GOD knows who he is, and I know who he is-- and, HE KNOWS WHO HE IS. God is his judge!
Remembering he had actually taken me over to the other side of the building and, with the tenant's (Roger's) permission, had shown me, his, apartment, which was fixed up nicely, saying that mine would be fixed up just as nicely (when I came to see my future apartment here, that first day), drove home, to me, how much of a liar, and/or even a misogynist, this landlord is, to have done that to me! It wasn't the case at all! There was a bland, unfinished, board on the very end of the lower kitchen cabinets, that was visible just as you entered the kitchen and dining room area. I stained it, myself, to match, the rest of the cabinets, so that, it was not, a cheap-looking eyesore, that I had to see, continually, as a daily reminder of being conned, by this landlord, whose word, was, clearly, no good. I realized, especially, when I went to take my first shower, that the walls and tub had not been cleaned, or disinfected, after the last tenant! It was, an awful feeling, to realize, that I was, exposed to someone else's germs, and bacteria that way! By that point, though, I had seen, other, evidence, that this apartment was not deep-cleaned, as it should have been, prior to my moving in as the, new, tenant. I opened the dishwasher to see a couple of dishes, in it, that were, used, and dirty, and some old food pieces, lying in the bottom of the dishwasher, which, I had to scoop out, and throw away.
The oven had not been cleaned. The usually gray interior walls and the, normally, silver, racks, inside it, were, all, so grease-coated, that, they were a rusty-orange color! I had to buy oven cleaner, and clean the oven myself, while I coughed, and choked, from the strong fumes. I have asthma, so that kind of, cleaning, chore is very hard on me. It was also grime, and grease, LEFT from the PREVIOUS tenant, that I should NEVER have had to clean up, MYSELF, AT ALL! Black dirt and grease filled every crevice, of the outside, of the stove, as well. I used Q-tips, to help me scrape all of that out, as well as in the refrigerator and freezer where the dirt and grime were joined by, what looked, and smelled, like leaked meat blood, inside it. Grease was even inside every available opening, in the outside, of the dishwasher door. I worked for many days to get all that cleaned up. I disinfected everything I could. I removed dozens of dead bugs, mostly roaches, but others, as well, that I found, in this place, as I cleaned it, all, up, bit by bit, and day after day, for many weeks. Even so, after several efforts of using 'elbow grease', to do so, I could not get enough layers of the grease off of the cabinet doors above the stove, to open them, without having to, really grip them, and pull hard to get them open, due to the stickiness, from the layers of grease, on them. This place, was in poor shape.
I have continued, to feel the sting, from this landlord's lies and his betrayal of my trust, every single day, that I have lived here, for, 4 long years, now. Everywhere, I look, I see, these things, that he DIDN'T DO, that he had assured me, would be done, and that, any other landlord, I, have ever had, WOULD HAVE DONE, rather than, present ME, as a NEW tenant, with the FORMER one's filth. It is obvious, to me, that THIS landlord has the ability to live without a good conscience. I did, all this, deep-cleaning, painting, staining, de-bugging, and more; sometimes, crying out in pain, from my having to get down on my knees for so long, to get some of these things done. It was, very hard on my, then, 61-year-old, body; but, also, it was very hard on my soul, that this man had DONE THIS TO ME deliberately, and then, simply shrugged it off, the day that I, finally, confronted him about doing it. He puts up this facade, that, others often buy into, but that, I never have, or will. He doesn't seem to care that God knows that these things I am saying, and I am describing, about him, are, ALL, true. Luke 12:2 (King James Bible): "For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed, neither hid, that shall not be known."
I'm not the only one he has misled; either, knowingly, unknowingly, or, carelessly, misrepresenting his intentions and services, to customers of his. I feel that in my case he was deliberately deceptive, in what he said that he would provide. I once asked him, what, he had done, prior to, being a landlord, because, I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to discover some truth about him, that I was unaware of but that would shed some light on who he is as a person. He very succinctly said that he had previously sold 'nutritional supplements', but, his reticence in replying, let me know, in my spirit (which, has access to, God's, Spirit, of Truth), that, he was attempting to conceal something, about that, for whatever reason that may have been. So, I did some investigating online then, and fairly quickly and easily came across a document, which was, directly, related to him, that is, a matter of public record; from the federal government. What I am saying about him in this post, is more about WHAT he is, in my life, than specifically WHO he is. My blog posts are not about retaliation against those who have wronged me or let me down by their words and/or actions. I believe that, every single one of us will stand before God, on His Judgment Day, and be held, fully, accountable, for what we have said, and not said, done, and not done, while living on this Earth. I also believe that, "What goes around comes around", and, in the 'divine retribution', that karma brings, to people, that have it coming, because of how they have treated others. The people in my life who have deeply hurt me or wronged me, are people that I have placed in God's Hands, for Him to ultimately deal with. As documentation, however, I am including some parts of this letter that the U.S. government sent to this man who later became my landlord, because of his business venture selling supplements to the public the government was concerned were unsafe, and potentially harmful. I have shown him, much more mercy, than he has, ever, shown me, which, has not always been what I have wanted to do toward him. Especially, after how badly he has treated me. I have omitted the, specific, identifiers, of who this man is, while not altering any of the text, of the letter, which I included by Copying and Pasting it directly from the actual document that is online. I found it posted on a website, which describes itself as "Your Guide To Health-Related Legal Matters". This letter was a "Warning Letter to (my landlord)" sent to him for making misleading claims.
Department of Health and Human Services
Public Health Service | |
Office of Compliance Dear Mr [My Landlord Now]: This is to advise you that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has reviewed your website at the Internet address www informxxxx.com and has determined that the products . . . are promoted for conditions that cause these products to be drugs under section 201(g)(1) of the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act (the Act) [21 USC 321(g)(1)]. The therapeutic claims on your website establish that these products are drugs because they are intended for use in the cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease. The marketing of these products with these claims violates the Act. . . . Furthermore, your products are not generally recognized as safe and effective for the above referenced conditions, . . . These products are also misbranded within the meaning of Section 502(f)(1) of the Act, in that the labeling for these drugs fails to bear adequate directions for use [21 USC 352(f)(1)] The above violations are not meant to be an all-inclusive list of deficiencies in your products and their labeling. While reviewing your website, noticed that you promoted other products for disease treatment and/or prevention. It is your responsibility to ensure that products marketed by your firm comply with the Act and its implementing regulations. We urge you to review your website, product labels, and other labeling and promotional materials for your products to ensure that the claims you make for your products do not cause them to violate the Act. Failure to promptly correct the violations specified above may result in enforcement action without further notice. Enforcement action may include seizure of violative products and/or injunction against the manufacturers and distributors of violative products. . . . Your reply should be sent to the attention of Kristen Moe, Compliance Officer, US Food and Drug Administration, Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition, Division of Compliance and Enforcement (HFS-607), 5100 Paint Branch Pkwy, College Park, MD 20740-3835. If you prefer to respond electronically, send your e-mail to kristen.moe@fda.hhs.gov If you have any questions concerning this letter, please contact Ms Moe at 301-436-2064. Sincerely, /s/ Joseph R. Baca Office Director This page was posted on February 12, 2008. |
I was walking home from church one Sunday, after, finally, getting the apartment all cleaned up, to be a decent enough HOME for ME, here, when I saw a neighbor on his patio as I approached the apartment building. I had been so busy cleaning until then that I still didn't know very many of the tenants, yet, even though, this is a small building with only 22 apartments in it, between the two sides. I walked up to him, and introduced myself. We chatted for awhile. I was also curious what his experience, of living here, had been like, for him. (I wondered, if the landlord had treated him, as badly, as he had me; so I asked general questions related to how he liked living here.) During this conversation he asked me to look inside his patio door, which, we were standing close to, out in the yard, by his apartment. I did, and saw that he had no furniture, at all, except for one chair, that was sitting in the middle of the room. Then, he began to explain to me, that he-- currently-- had his SECOND bout of BEDBUGS, in his apartment (that was on the same floor, as MY apartment, and just TWO DOORS AWAY; although, it was on the other side of the building). He described how he had already had to throw out everything he owned, the first time, this had happened, while living here, and that he was down to only having this, one, chair this time around, and was scooping bedbugs out of the crevices, in it, to try to be able to keep it. He also said that he simply slept by putting a sheet on the floor, and lying there. I had, recently, been homeless and I did not have much money, at all, so the thought of having to throw out, all, of my belongings, if these bedbugs spread, from his apartment, was very concerning, to me! I can't think of anyone that wouldn't feel that same way! Yet, when I went in to my apartment, just after, that conversation, to call the landlord, and tell him, I was just told, that a tenant-- TWO doors down, from me-- had BEDBUGS, for the SECOND TIME-- right now, and ask why he hadn't sent out a Tenant Letter of his, to at least ALERT tenants, to watch for this situation to spread, etc., he HUNG UP ON ME! I could not BELIEVE that he was going to, simply, sidestep such a serious issue. It was also, the FIRST, of MANY times, that he would just HANG UP ON ME, if I called him about a concern I had here. So, I asked this tenant, if this landlord had done anything about it, to help, control or eradicate it, from this building. His answer didn't even sound POSSIBLE, to me, so I confronted the landlord about it, too, calling him, again, and starting with saying, "I called you with a VERY VALID TENANT CONCERN that I JUST LEARNED ABOUT and YOU just HUNG UP on me?!"
I asked him, why he never even gave us tenants a HEADS UP, about this being in this small building, so we at LEAST had a CHANCE to PROTECT our BELONGINGS; and I asked him, if what the tenant told me was TRUE-- that HE (as landlord) will NOT DO ANYTHING, about getting an exterminator to treat it so it doesn't spread, because of, the COST TO HIM, involved in that. To my utter shock, he said, that it was TRUE. He, very coldly, and curtly, said, showing obvious irritation with me for even asking him about it, that it was solely the TENANT'S responsibility to pay for those extermination treatments, and that HE WOULD NOT DO SO. Then he HUNG UP ON ME-- AGAIN. I was incredulous, but also very angry. He NEVER DID let the tenants KNOW about it, through a Tenant Letter, or such, to give-- anyone-- even a fair chance, to decide, what they could, or should, do, based on the situation as it was, and the risks involved in living here, because of it. (I recalled how, when I lived at a previous property belonging to my former landlord, one, tenant in, one, building, got bedbugs, and, that landlord immediately gave a Tenant Letter to ALL of the tenants living in that building, who could be affected, and be bitten, or lose their belongings because of it-- because neither of these properties had WEALTHY tenants living in them who could easily afford to replace all they owned; and even told them how to protect their belongings, also, saying that, they, as the landlord, there, would be the one paying for a series of treatments, beginning immediately, to eradicate the problem, ASAP.) This tenant that, currently, had bedbugs, for the second time, told me that, he hadn't even bothered, to tell, our landlord, about it, anyway, since, the first time, that he told him that he had bedbugs, was when the landlord had told him that, he would have to pay for, any and all, treatments, and eradication measures, himself, on his own; and he simply didn't have the money!
This very kind veteran, this man, this tenant, whose life mattered, and who was a humble man, with, a heart of gold-- unlike, this landlord-- was, eventually, found, lying dead, in his apartment, from drinking himself to death, after a long struggle, with alcohol abuse, that, I only knew about, because, the landlord TOLD ME THAT.
It's, one thing, for me, as a tenant, to let, the landlord, know, about things, that I may see, or hear, on this property, which, are concerning, enough, that I think he needs to know about that. It's an entirely different thing, when, the landlord, who needs, to know, all these things, tells tenants, about, other tenants', private, and, personal, business-- especially, when, that is, very, private, and, personal, things. The landlord GOSSIPS about tenants, to other tenants, USING OUR NAMES, as he does that. I have had, other tenants, tell ME, things, that he has said, ABOUT ME!
The tenant that had lived in the apartment right across the hall, from me, when I moved in, had an extensive criminal record, and his probation officers and others were not having any, real, success at rehabilitating him. He had a well-developed way of charming people to give in to him, and let him off the hook. He tried it, on me, as well, and it worked, briefly, until I figured him out. He ran a flophouse, for his equally delinquent friends, by letting them, all, stay at his place as he kept on going back and forth, between here, and more jail time. Sometimes, I would hear a female wail, in fear, and pain, from something he had just done, to her. I would call our landlord, who had rented to him here-- while shivering from the stress of it, as I urgently whispered to him what was going on. He told me to call the cops, but, that was risky, and scary, for me to do, because this was a very isolated hall, with ONLY OUR TWO APARTMENTS in it, separated from all the other apartments, in the building, by a solid wood door. No one else would know, what was going on in there, but me! Sometimes, during his-- frequent-- jail stints for noncompliance with his probation officer's, or court judge's, directives, to him, his friends, would knock, on my patio, or hallway, door, and, ask me, if I, 'had any burglary tools so they could break in' to his apartment, to, continue, staying there, while he was in jail. I always said no. Eventually one of his friends managed to get in through the window, and while staying there, broke the HVAC unit, by either, trying to alter it, or, take some parts, from it; possibly, to pawn for money. It malfunctioned due to that, and could have become, a real safety hazard, for this entire building, at that point; including for me. When Jeramy FINALLY got evicted by this landlord AFTER DOING ALL THAT!-- he wrote to me, from jail, but I did not respond. I did tell the landlord about that, though, because of how UNSAFE, I felt, living here, due to all that went on with him and his friends, and their criminal and dangerous activities.
Jeramy sent me this letter, addressed, only, to "My Sister In Christ", because, he could not even remember my name. But, I felt it was wiser not to respond to this letter from him, for many reasons; not, the least, of which, was that, every time, that Jeramy had, landed back in jail, or, the hospital, since, I knew him, here, he was ALWAYS VERY CHARMING and very good at KEEPING PEOPLE CLOSE that he COULD USE, FOR FAVORS, LATER ON, but, he was not, ever, really, showing ANY signs, to the judge, his probation officer, his work site supervisor, or me, that, he EVER REALLY CHANGED HIS CRIMINAL WAYS. He even sent his buddies, back, to the building, to see me, when he was finally put in jail this time, for an extended period, and, inevitably, they asked me for my assistance with things that weren't wise or legal, which I did not give them. I always just told them about their need for God, in their lives, just as I had always done, with Jeramy, when he was here, and, I would join hands, and pray, with him, and his friends. (One, visibly started shaking, through his entire body, one time I prayed for them, standing in a circle, in the hallway, together, as the Presence, and the power, of the Holy Spirit fell on this young man, who had been, under the influence, of drugs, at the time!) I did, what I could do, while still maintaining, my own, personal safety, for as long as, I felt that, I could do it. It obviously had an impact on both Jeramy and his friends.
I shared that, here, as a CONTRAST, about who and when this landlord decides to evict people from here. I was, terrified, and terrorized, by this, dangerous, young man, living in this, isolated, hallway, with me as his, only, neighbor, and his, thug, pals, who kept knocking on my door, asking for things from me, that I was, never, going to help them obtain; because, for one thing, doing so would have made me complicit in their crimes! It took ALOT though, for this landlord to finally evict this guy! It did not come down to my safety concerns, or complaints from others here, saying the friends of his were breaking into cars, and taking things, or such. Only, when he got sentenced, to a longer jail time, and wouldn't be around anymore, to have his rent paid, did the landlord finally evict him. I have seen and spoken with, quite a few, tenants as they moved out. I asked them, as they loaded their things into vehicles, to leave, if they had liked living here; and, if they, did not mind, my asking, why they were moving out. I know that, one young guy, was evicted for a habit of partying all night, and playing his guitar on his balcony, just before dawn, for a drunken sing-along, with his friends, after they had tossed all of their empty beer bottles onto the lawn beneath them. He wasn't here, very long, at all. Just a couple of noise complaints got him evicted, almost right away. But, several times, people said they weren't really sure, why the landlord simply chose to evict them; describing, to me, some, minor, dispute, which, they, often, felt, could have easily been resolved, without such drastic measures. On the other hand, however, there is a tenant that's, frequently, broken this landlord's own rule not to prop open the security doors, who is still living here. She was here before I ever moved in, and I am sure, based on the results, she will continue to live here, long after I am gone from here. There's, apparently, no real, rhyme, or reason, for how, he chooses, to evict people from their homes. This landlord, has kept some, real, troublemakers, even for a long time, giving them, alot of chances, which they have, usually, used to keep on doing, whatever it is, that they've been doing, that is against his rules. I BELIEVE the tenants, that told me, he evicted them for, little, to no, real reason, too, because of how he has TREATED ME, in giving me such threats, to EVICT ME.
The landlord, is the one, that told me about, what was done to the HVAC system, inside that apartment, which he discovered around the time, that, Jeramy, finally, moved out, and it wasn't working properly, for the next tenant, who was, quickly, moved into there. It had taken this landlord quite awhile, even with all these real problems, that Jeramy, and his, criminal 'entourage', had brought to the building, to evict him. Based on what he had told me, himself, the landlord had let Jeramy remain, a tenant here, even while in and out of jail, and causing problems, in the building, as long as, the assistance agency, was still willing, to pay his rent, here. But, once he went to jail for, an extended time, and, they told, this landlord, they wouldn't continue paying rent, for him, he was out. When I told him, that Jeramy had written me from jail, after he was finally gone from here, the landlord texted back, "Jeramy is a troubled, dangerous person. I would avoid him altogether. We are fortunate he no longer resides at the building. The less contact you have, the safer you will remain." [Taken from, my saved phone texts] The photographs below, are of, the letter, and its envelope, that Jeramy had sent, to me, from jail:
I HOPE it has, on this LANDLORD, as well, whom I have also spoken to on several occasions about the Messiah, because I believe HE would ALSO BENEFIT GREATLY from, becoming a, Messianic, Jew, by receiving Yeshua (Jesus), as his Savior, and allowing Him, to change, his heart, and ways. I don't know, what Jeramy thought though, when I didn't reply, to his letter from jail. I put it, all, in God's Hands. He may have simply thought that, I never even got his letter, since, he didn't have it addressed to my name. Whatever, he thought, I simply could not allow myself, to get, sucked into, this vortex, of this, young man's, out-of-control, life, due to, his ability, to SOUND, so charming, and caring, while, actually, being a very troubled, and, at times, violent young man. I don't know what ever became of Jeramy, but, I could NOT become, ONE, OF HIS, ENABLERS, either. HE NEEDED, TO FACE, THE CONSEQUENCES, of his own actions, just like this LANDLORD needs to! I will say, that this whole situation, with Jeramy being my ONLY neighbor, on this ISOLATED hallway, for months, was, another, added source of great stress for me personally as, I am sure, that you, regular, readers, of all, of my blog posts, can understand, about me, by now, based on everything, that I have been put through, in my life. I am not, a perfect person, tenant, or, neighbor. But, no one who is, ever, around me, can ever doubt, that, I am, honest, sincere, caring, and know, and love, God. My Christian testimony, is not based on MY perfection, but on GOD'S perfect love!
He puts these others, out of here, for some of the most minor 'reasons'. He is not consistent, with how, he deals with difficulties, that arise, with tenants here. As a tenant myself, this fact's been a source of, constant, torment for me. Despite, my being a good person, and a good tenant, I, never, feel any strong, sure, sense, of my knowing where I stand, with him. He exacerbates that uneasiness, that I feel, into, extreme, levels, of distress, for me! Because, while he's never actually done it to me, he has, threatened, to evict me, over a dozen times, in 4 years, in some form or other! Especially, since I came here, as a homeless veteran, suffering the trauma of that ordeal-- which he well knows-- it is particularly cruel, and uncalled for, for this landlord to threaten to take away the roof over my head-- apparently, simply as his way of controlling me; and the narrative. I have spoken up for what is right, with him, but, he has, no desire, to hear that, from me. So, he threatens me (even, during this pandemic, we are in) with evicting me, in order to, shut me up. The truth, may, temporarily, be silenced by him, with this, tacky, tactic-- until now, anyway, as this blog post is published online-- but, it remains the truth; and GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH just as much as I DO, and just as much as this landlord. Because, he has done this to me, again, and again, and again, I have NEVER FELT SAFE, or SECURE, or really AT HOME, HERE. I CONSTANTLY feel like I am 'waiting for the other shoe to drop'; for me to, inevitably, lose the place that I live in, after one of his threats. I have spent 4 years, day in and day out, feeling very tentative about my tenancy here because of how this jerk has treated me. I never feel like I can relax, or feel at peace, or feel 'at home' here. The most I have ever been able to have here is feeling like I 'exist'; like I am 'surviving', every day, here; SO FAR.
THAT IS NO WAY TO LIVE, for ANYONE. It has caused me to have sustained bouts of the HIGHEST blood pressure readings that I have EVER HAD, in MY LIFE! There have been, many, many, times, while, being here, as his tenant, that I have cried out, to God, about how he mistreats me. I've-- literally-- prayed that this landlord would not BE THE DEATH OF ME, due to, causing me, to have a heart attack, or a stroke, from the, constant, stress, that, HE KEEPS ME UNDER. It is, despicable, to me, that he DOES THIS SOLELY TO CONTROL ME, just to make his own life easier, because, he doesn't really CARE, about, DOING WHAT IS RIGHT! He doesn't want to be BOTHERED WITH my REMINDING HIM of his broken promises, to me, about this apartment or other lies he has told me simply to schmooze rather than be an honest, honorable, human being, in his dealings with me and other tenants of his. He has, very nearly, been the death of me, due to, his constant, negative, impact, on my overall health and well-being. I have had to have mental health counseling, with a VAMC doctor by phone (during the pandemic) specifically because of him. I have called a Women's Crisis Line (normally called by, domestic abuse, victims) to vent about how mentally and emotionally abused, I feel, from how this landlord is treating me. I was abused in my last marriage by a narcissistic man who kept me, completely, off balance, mentally, emotionally, and physically, in, much, the same, way, that this landlord manipulates me, to control me, by threatening to evict me. Especially, since, the pandemic began. It is TRULY TERRIFYING! I am also used to being praised by landlords, for how GOOD OF A TENANT I am, at their properties; so, going through this, is so confusing to me, as well as, making me, really, angry at him for being such a superficial liar and a nearly-constant jerk. I've been made to pay some really high prices, by him, in so many ways, for HIS lack of character.
After one of his many threats to evict me I left the landlord this message about it:
"Knowing you, as I do, I even saved time, and told her that your response, if any, would likely include, something about (threatening) my continuing tenancy, here; and, there was your text with it right on cue! I don't appreciate my tenancy being threatened, several, times, now, as a, means, of silencing me. Do whatever you like about my tenancy." [Note: I am referring, here, to my housing specialist for my HUD-VASH voucher due to my being homeless prior to coming to live in this apartment]
I texted this to a male neighbor that knew I was having to deal with these things: "I'm ALWAYS having to try hard to live with the acute stress from the threats and negativity this landlord flamethrows into the mix of my TRYING to ENJOY my HOME, which undermines my health etc."
This, is a text, that I sent the landlord, after, yet another, of, over a dozen, total, times, that he has threatened to EVICT me: "I also just let my housing specialist know what your text said to/about me [in a voicemail that I left for her] and she heard me still sobbing, over your treatment of ME, and why, I think, it's the pot, calling, a TEASPOON-- not, a kettle-- black, based on, how YOU treat ME. She is very aware, of ALL my housing circumstances, here, including with YOU".
There was, a guy, that, appeared, to be, a tenant, whom I didn't know, who-- for some, gross, reason-- when he was passing, right by, my, apartment door, in the hallway, on his way OUT OF THE BUILDING (just, a FEW STEPS later) would hack up, this wad of, spittle, from his mouth, and, spew it, ONTO THE CARPET, outside MY door! I HEARD, the noise, he made, as, he did that, time after time, day after day, for whatever his reason was, for such behavior (when he could have at least done it OUTDOORS, if he waited, for about 15 seconds MORE, to get OUT THERE) and, although, it gagged me, to both hear, and see, his spit, sitting, frothy, in the hallway, on the carpet, I would go out and CLEAN IT UP, because we had barefoot children staying with one of the neighbors, for awhile, and they would walk there. I told the landlord about this, going on, but he kept saying, the description didn't match any male tenant he had living here. He told me later it was a guy that had simply moved himself in when some friends of his who had lived here moved out.
Once he got the guy out, I asked the landlord to please clean the carpet, because of all the nastiness and the germs. He said that he would, the very next time that he had the carpet cleaning contractor over to the building to clean carpet, after a move-out, but that he didn't even have one coming up in the near future. Due to that, and my already knowing, in situation after situation, with this landlord, that he was NOT a man OF HIS WORD, I responded with disappointment and concern, reminding him that, small children, going barefoot, kept walking through the hall, on that carpet. We texted back and forth, about it, some. I have saved alot of the text messages, and emails, etc., because, I knew that, because of, who he is, this landlord was putting me through, a 4-year, 'dark night of my soul', here, and that one day the time would, finally, come, that I could cover this chapter of my life in my blog, in full, and honest, disclosure. (Although, I am doing that here, with this post, I can NEVER COVER IT ALL, because, there's JUST BEEN SO MUCH, that this landlord HAS PUT ME THROUGH; so I can only describe an OVERVIEW of it all, by the many examples, I am giving, in this, very long post). Sure enough, one day, I FINALLY saw the carpet cleaner's truck, outside, after waiting, for months, for the hallway carpet to be cleaned. I was going out to run errands that day, so I wasn't around, to see it being done. When I got home, I could see that it didn't get done. I was, sadly, not surprised. So, I texted the landlord, about that, and he just said, "I said I'll get it done. I don't understand disappointment over this". He never did get it professionally steam cleaned. Because, I let him know, that I knew, that he didn't follow through, on yet another thing, he had told me, he would do, he sent Ruben over, to do it. Ruben filled the tank, of the little, home carpet cleaner, with cold water, from the faucet outside, and spent, LESS THAN 5 MINUTES, 'cleaning' the carpet. I don't know, why, the landlord, bothered, to have him, do that, at all.
I was out in the front yard, pulling long, trailing, weeds out of the big bush by my patio, one day, when a woman, from an apartment two floors above me, called to me, from up on her balcony. I had been minding my own business; simply doing, yet another, bit of unpaid labor around this building, mostly because as my home this place reflected ON ME, and, its condition affected MY quality of life, directly. I would rather not have had the conversation, that she began, with me, at all, as it only made me feel, even more, anxious, about living here. She began, to tell me, things about the landlord, which I don't know whether they are true, or not, but I found troubling yet plausible, about him. I also don't know, if she was saying, any of it, from FIRSTHAND KNOWLEDGE, herself. She told me that, our landlord, gave some, of the female tenants here, rent discounts, if they agreed to have sex, with him. I didn't know what her angle was, for telling me this, or if she was simply on a 'fishing expedition' on this subject, to see if anything was going on between him and me. I, really, just wished, she had, not, come out, on her balcony, and begun, this, kind of conversation, with me, at all. I had been peacefully pulling weeds out of the evergreen bush by my apartment, when she injected this stressful tale into my day. Regardless of her motive in having this talk, with me, I felt some need to distance myself, from the possibility of her entertaining any idea in her mind, that something like that might be going on with me and the landlord. I told her, that, I actually don't even like him, at all, as a person. That, I, honestly, can't stand him.
One day, I was taking my trash out to the dumpster, when I ran into the landlord, in the parking lot. This same girl who props the security door open (usually so her late-night, male, visitors, can get in) came out of the building, all 'fixed up', and I told her, how nice she looked! She replied that today was her birthday so she was going out to celebrate it. As I wished her a good evening, and a fun time, the look of discomfort, on the landlord's face, indicated, to me, that he was, uneasy, about me conversing with her, then, for some strange reason. He looked concerned, and unhappy, that I was talking with her. It looked, to me, like he was not comfortable with the idea, that she, and I, could be conversing, together, at other times. I had wondered why, that would be, at the time. I would think, that a landlord would be happy, that his tenants were, congenial, and conversational, with each other! But, he has seemed, to me, to try to keep those tenants, who know, ONE, side, of him, away from, the other tenants, that he DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW about, this other, side, he has. He is, definitely, not, the same person, with everyone! He is, a social chameleon. He wears, different, masks, with different people, depending on, what his goal is, going in, for the interaction, that he is having, with them. Voices carry, really easily, in the hallways, of this small, and, usually, very, quiet, building. So, I have overheard several of his conversations, with, various, tenants here. He is not the same, with everyone, in the ways, he carries and communicates himself. I can even see him change his whole demeanor, as he switches between his two 'faces', that, he uses, when dealing with me. It seems, to me, that, he is, rarely, IF EVER, SINCERE, as a person. I see him as always trying to sway and manipulate people.
About, the FOURTH TIME, he DID THAT, when he was repairing things, alone with me, inside my apartment, I CALLED HIM OUT, ON IT, in such a way that he didn't say that, to me, ever again. He, did, however, see, a Bruno Mars CD, of mine, as, he was leaving, my apartment, one day, after finishing the Work Order, he was in my home, to do, and he, actually, crossed his arms across his chest, and refused to LEAVE MY APARTMENT until or unless I DANCED for him. It frightened me and humiliated me, to the point, that, I (just, barely) complied, to get him to leave. I felt so violated, and angry, about it, that, the next time, I saw him-- OUT IN THE HALL; in a LESS PRIVATE and SECLUDED setting-- I told him, with my ANGER, at him, REALLY SHOWING THROUGH, on my face, how HUMILATED and SCARED I'd felt, and, how, VIOLATED, and, ANGRY, it had left me, when he DID THAT, TO ME. The fact that the landlord didn't want to even HEAR ABOUT THIS CRAP, he'd done to me, to make me feel, not only uncomfortable, but afraid, says ALOT about him.
I didn't want to know, if it was true. I, already, felt so uncomfortable, that he has the master key, to be able to access my apartment at any time, that much of the time I have lived here, I have placed heavy or loud objects against my apartment door, especially, before going to bed at night. It, also, didn't help matters any, for my personal safety concerns, that I discovered, one day, when the lady who lives across from me, who is in a wheelchair, had, some sort of, an emergency, and the landlord's trusted helper, who showed up with a master key, to give access to the EMTs who arrived due to her 911 call, is a guy from the other side of the building, whom I met when I first moved in, and avoid at all costs. Everything I ever heard out of his mouth, was peppered with "God damn" this and that, and, since I LOVE the Lord, THAT was EXTREMELY OFFPUTTING, to me, personally. Also, he made a point of telling me that, he was the (pot) drug dealer, in this building, and invited me up to his apartment the day my moving truck finally showed up and had been unloaded, by Moving Vets Forward-- which, unfortunately, HE HAD HELPED WITH. I don't do drugs. I also, never went to his apartment. I haven't had anything else, to do with him, since I moved in; the entire time I have lived here. However, I did notice that, whenever I tried to tell this landlord about something troubling, going on here, that I felt he should KNOW, or should WANT to know, he shuts it down. I believe it's that same desire he has to stay uninformed and/or pretend he doesn't know, what, really, goes on, here, because, knowing makes him accountable, and even complicit, when nothing ever really gets done about any of it. I once tried to TELL him about THIS guy TELLING ME he was the residential drug dealer, here. It wasn't even just his own admission as he bragged about it either! I had two other male tenants, from that side of the building, both of whom, are friends of his, and are, also, both, regular, substance abusers, of alcohol, if not also drugs, tell me in great detail, quite enthusiastically, and openly, that this same guy told them, how he gets his shipment of pot in, once monthly, and deals it out to his regular users but is always keeping his feelers out for new customers. Other tenants, have told me, that when this landlord bought the building, he ran off, all the drug dealers. I have seen that there is a curious mixture here of tenants who know how he really is and others who believe his 'P.R.' schmear that he wants them to believe of him.
When the #MeToo movement was going strong and women were supporting one another, to, confront men making them feel uncomfortable, by sexual behaviors, toward them, I texted the landlord telling him how uncomfortable I felt when he embraced me, alone in my apartment, the day I had asked him to come here to see all the cleaning, painting, staining, etc., I HAD TO DO because he didn't give me a clean apartment to MOVE INTO. I also told him, the maintenance man had made me extremely uncomfortable, and angry, due to his, sexual, conversations with, and requests of, me. One, of the ways, this landlord, GETS OUT OF, BEING HELD ACCOUNTABLE, is simply to, KEEP ON REPLYING, to what I am telling him, by saying, things like, "I'm sorry, but I don't understand what it is, you're telling me", even, repeatedly, if I am persistent; apparently, in an attempt to get me to GIVE UP, and DROP IT. Determined, to use, my RIGHT, to SPEAK UP, about, how, their sexual gestures toward me when in my apartment made me uncomfortable as a, female, tenant, I wouldn't back down. Even saying, to him, when he pulled that crap, on me: "I'll [explain it again] to you then and you can read it all and if you actually still say you don't understand it, then explain to me, WHAT part of it you don't get, and I will be happy to [clarify it, for] you, as many [times] as YOU NEED, to get what I'm saying in that way, regarding inappropriate actions by you and [the maintenance man]." The landlord, had 'only' hugged me, that once; but his maintenance man is employed by him, and is, a representative, of him, when he comes to my apartment, to do the Work Orders that I need done. As landlord, he needs, to be made aware, that the maintenance man started, several, sexual, conversations, with me, saying, such things as, he wondered, what sex would be like, with another woman, other than his wife; if they would "do it different", etc.
About, the FOURTH TIME, he DID THAT, when he was repairing things, alone with me, inside my apartment, I CALLED HIM OUT, ON IT, in such a way that he didn't say that, to me, ever again. He, did, however, see, a Bruno Mars CD, of mine, as, he was leaving, my apartment, one day, after finishing the Work Order, he was in my home, to do, and he, actually, crossed his arms across his chest, and refused to LEAVE MY APARTMENT until or unless I DANCED for him. It frightened me and humiliated me, to the point, that, I (just, barely) complied, to get him to leave. I felt so violated, and angry, about it, that, the next time, I saw him-- OUT IN THE HALL; in a LESS PRIVATE and SECLUDED setting-- I told him, with my ANGER, at him, REALLY SHOWING THROUGH, on my face, how HUMILATED and SCARED I'd felt, and, how, VIOLATED, and, ANGRY, it had left me, when he DID THAT, TO ME. The fact that the landlord didn't want to even HEAR ABOUT THIS CRAP, he'd done to me, to make me feel, not only uncomfortable, but afraid, says ALOT about him.
I had spoken up for myself, in my own, #METOO moment, by telling the landlord, how things that, they had done to me, here, had MADE ME FEEL. But he just kept pretending that he didn't understand what I was saying; what I was talking about. When I persisted, trying to hold him accountable, because, the maintenance man, is, his, employee, when, he is, in my home, the landlord just got angry, because I wouldn't drop it, and just let them get away, with it, at my expense. He ended up, telling me to 'take my problems to a counselor'; but, the problems were HIS OWN BEHAVIOR. So, I got angry, at that, and I told him, "I'm now taking YOUR advice, to 'go find a counselor', since, it is clear, you don't intend, to, simply, deal, with it, privately, and, directly. . . . So, WE'LL DO THIS, YOUR WAY, THEN!" and I DID call others, seeking counseling about, all, of these things. That was when I called HIS synagogue-- twice!-- to try, to ask the Rabbi, for help, but, they, couldn't take my calls, either time. I also called, the WCA's Domestic Abuse Hotline, several, times, crying, from my distress, about how this landlord always left me feeling so scared, stressed, angry, and violated. Abuse is abuse, regardless, of the relationship type, that's involved in it. In THIS case, it is simply, a landlord-tenant relationship. That is, not, the point, though. It is still hurtful, and harmful, to the victim, of it! These men, WANT to do this, to women, and DO; but, then, they DON'T want to be held accountable, so, they try to shut us up and leave us to suffer in silence, after they mistreat us, adding insult to injury. His main threat was "If you don't like it leave."
He unlocked my apartment door one time, which is technically illegal, since it was not for any emergency where he would be allowed by law to access my apartment without my permission; to, put a bottle of wine in my apartment! I don't drink, for many years, now; so, I gave it away, to the church secretary. When he'd knocked, just before unlocking the door, like that, I didn't answer, because, I was sitting, in my apartment, crying, because of something THAT HAD REALLY MATTERED TO ME that he DIDN'T DO, that he had TOLD ME, HE WOULD DO, but LIED, about it. The maintenance man was installing, brand new, carpet, in the apartment right across from mine, that Jeramy had vacated, when he was sent back to jail. The door was open, and I saw him working on it when I went to check my mail. It really hurt to see that beautiful, new, carpet, which I didn't get when I was promised I would. I have had to live, every day, here, with the lumpy, threadbare, dirty-brown carpet, that he had said would be replaced with new carpet, when I moved in, but wasn't.
So many times, I've bent down, to pick up some white piece of lint, off the carpet, only to realize that, it isn't lint at all, but some of the backing from this old carpet, that is showing through, because of how old and worn it is. I, also, overheard him giving, Holiday, Bonuses, to his maintenance man, and helper, but, he has NEVER, done THAT, for ME, even ONE time, even though he KNOWS, that I have done alot of things, around here, that anyone else would BE PAID TO DO! But, this has been MY HOME-- as MISERABLE, as I have BEEN here (largely, BECAUSE of HIM, BEING SUCH A JERK)-- and I want to live in as nice a place as possible. I also want to be a blessing to others, as much as I can (which, the current pandemic has curtailed, now, to a large extent). So, I just do, all, I do here, for free, then. Simply to help. I am the ONLY person that does work here, that is not compensated for that work.
I don't say all this, as a point of bragging, about it. In fact, because, this landlord, treats me so badly, in spite of (or, maybe, because of) what a good person, and a good tenant, I am, I have felt rather stupid, for continuing, to do any of what I do around here, that, even, inadvertently, helps, him, out. The bottom line, is, I do it TO THE GLORY OF GOD, Who is my Judge (and his Judge!). The main point of this information is that, even though I have contributed, all that, to him, and the other tenants, here, he has, still, THREATENED TO EVICT ME NEARLY CONSTANTLY, ever since I moved in here! So, I am describing the situation, and showing contrasts of how he has treated me, compared to, some of the others, here, to make it clearer why I find his behavior, toward me, to be so egregious, and I dislike him so much.
He gives 'mixed signals', to me, as a tenant, which, leaves me feeling, frustrated, stressed, and NEVER knowing, what to expect, from him, as a reaction. As much, as anything, he seems to take his mood out on me, even when I am following his directives, in Tenant Letters. He tells us in those letters, to bring concerns to him, but, when I have done that, he has, often, responded with telling me, that, 'I can leave, if I don't like it.' I still have a response of mine, to him, about that attitude of his toward my, valid, tenant concerns, that said, "I am very well aware of what my options are! I worked EXTREMELY hard, on, every, bit, of this apt, for, several MONTHS, & would like, to enjoy the return, on my investment, of labor, now. The main reason I don't tell you more, is it seems to me you really don't want to hear it. I'm also aware, I can submit a tenant review, online, and there is, always, that option for me as well. I am a very honest, fact-based person. I have chosen to be as positive, as possible, as, this, is where God brought me, and obedience to Him gives Him Glory thru my life."
"Landlord apologized for rude treatment of me, in text this week, finally, on his Jewish Holy Day of contrition/atonement but then on same day very rude to me in person when at [apt] building. I've called WCA Abuse Hotline more than once because so stressed out by him and feeling he's abusive. He has such poor character and lies so much." [And, from another text:] "He is truly disgusting." [And, another text:] "I HATE interacting with (landlord) as he's often rude etc and I HATE being disrespected! I try to ONLY deal with him when I HAVE to because of his CRAP!"
One, saved text, reminded me of, another, one of my anecdotes, about him, that I had forgotten, because, frankly, HE IS ALWAYS SO FULL OF CRAP, that there have been far too many incidents, for me to even recall, or cover, ALL, OF THEM, HERE! It reads:
"(The landlord) told me I had to PAY to get ONE screw nailed into my wall by the maintenance man (who, then, refused money). When I DO need maintenance which is rare (the landlord) very abrupt and rude. To me, that's disrespect, and that is my pet peeve!"
[The landlord's text, to me:] "I don't appreciate when people hang up on me. It's rude. I will let the tenant know that you placed his package on the inside of the front doorway." I had called him, to try to get a misdelivered package to a tenant, on the other side of the building, whom, I didn't even know, or have a way to call. I had, first, tried, to take it over, to them, to help them, get it, but, because there was so much ice on the sidewalk (which the landlord never did a very good job of eradicating) it was impassable, so I couldn't. The landlord, did not want to bother, helping me, and, that other tenant, with this, when I called him, about it, though, asking for him to help, by simply calling the tenant, and letting them know where their package was, because it was misdelivered. So I gave up, and hung up, after telling the landlord, "JUST NEVER MIND THEN!" That, was when, he sent me, that text, and also said, NOW he would DO it, after I had already ended the phone call because of HIS rudeness and lack of cooperation, when I asked him to help, since he was saying, he wouldn't! He just makes himself look so dumb, to me, when he acts like that. He is SUCH A SELF-CENTERED JERK, that, he ACTUALLY texted me, [saved on my phone:] "I simply don't like it when people hang up on me." Yet, he has had NO problem AT ALL doing that to me, MULTIPLE times! He's unbelievable!
This landlord has seemed to me to never really allow himself to comprehend why, I feel so let down, and stressed out, by the things that he's said and done, or not said or done, as the case may be. Except, very tellingly, he, once, brought up the fact, on his own, that he knew, that his telling me and other tenants here that he would take us to experience his synagogue, at some point (which he never really intended to actually do), was at least one of the reasons, that he felt I was upset with him. He had told me, he would be doing that, during his original attempt, to schmooze me, when I came to view this, dark, dingy, and dirty, apartment, here. But, the Holy Spirit, bearing witness to God's Truth, in me, had ALREADY warned me, that, this man, was, insincere, at best. So, I NEVER EXPECTED HIM TO; and, HE DIDN'T. NO SURPRISE THERE. When the pandemic came years later, he acted so proud, of himself, when he emailed me, a link, to connect, to his synagogue's, remote, Shabbat services, via Skype. I told him that my computer doesn't have a camera or microphone so I can't Skype. (I would have bought those things, to be able to Skype, with my son, Jay, a couple of years ago, when, we, were emailing, one another, for a few months. But, he didn't want to start Skyping with me, so I never bought those things, that I would need, to be able to do that.) Besides, my not having the equipment, to do it, being given a remote link, to watch people, in their homes, through Skype, years, after he didn't keep his word, about taking us tenants to worship in the, actual, synagogue, did not compensate for that. I, also, lost alot of my curiosity about, Jewish, worship, and values, simply because of my knowing HIM, as a representative, of the type, of person, that this religion, or this synagogue, produces. After all, he has been very active and involved in all of that, for a lifetime. So, if he has had NO PROBLEM with the ways that HE HAS TREATED ME then I don't even WANT to experience the place that FEEDS HIM SPIRITUALLY. Because of knowing him, I've even had to fight a feeling of my starting to become anti-Semitic! I haven't given in to that particular negativity, but, that is because, I love God, and scripture, and believe that, my Savior, Jesus, walked the Earth, as a Jewish rabbi, while practicing that religion Himself. So, only because holy scripture tells me to, and because I love GOD, with ALL THAT I AM, I, still, include, my daily prayers 'for the peace of Jerusalem' (Psalm 122:6); and for Israel, to honor Jesus. If I were, in any way, basing that, on this landlord, I truly don't think I could do it, anymore. He has made life SO MISERABLE in so many ways, for me, that I, really, just want him to be completely out of my life-- as soon as possible. HE is A JERK!
As you read this, about him nearly constantly threatening to EVICT ME, you may, very well wonder, WHAT KIND OF TENANT AM I to get SO MANY threats from my landlord, to be PUT OUT OF WHERE I LIVE? I am an excellent tenant, and all my, other, landlords, have always raved about, how clean, I kept my apartments, etc. Also, while living here (if you can even call this stress-filled existence here living, as, I am, just, TRYING TO SURVIVE IT), I have, always, paid my rent, on time; I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs; I don't party, or have any loud conversations or fights, with anyone, to disturb, the neighbors, late at night, and so forth. In fact, THERE IS NO NOISE, coming from MY apartment, 90%, of the time! I am clean, helpful, normally friendly-- unless, someone, like, THIS LANDLORD, GIVES ME A REASON NOT TO BE; I don't steal or damage property; no burglary or vandalism. (I'm naming, SOME things, here, NOW, that THIS landlord HAS HAD, with OTHER TENANTS, that have lived here-- but, NEVER, from ME.) Aside from my using my God-given right, to speak up, and speak out, when, I'm being lied to, mistreated, sexually harassed, or ABUSED in any OTHER way, INCLUDING by this LANDLORD (and HIS maintenance man)-- which, he doesn't want to BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE or RESPONSIBLE FOR (SO, HE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT, FROM ME)-- I have not ever done ANYTHING wrong here. CERTAINLY NOT anything that would, EVER-- NORMALLY-- CAUSE, a LANDLORD, to, almost, CONTINUALLY, threaten to PUT ME OUT, OF MY APARTMENT-- INCLUDING, during, a RAMPANT, and DEADLY, PANDEMIC, where, NOWHERE, that ANYONE is, is, COMPLETELY, SAFE, right now (which, he, has-- ALSO-- THREATENED, TO DO, TO ME). He is, JUST A JERK; and an ASSHOLE; and, a LIAR; an ABUSER. He DOES this for ONE reason-- BECAUSE HE CAN. I am, just, one, vulnerable, low income, tenant, of his; and, he tells me, FREQUENTLY, that, he has, A WAITING LIST, of people, he can, very easily, put in MY apartment, right away; so, HE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR what I HAVE TO SAY, about the disrespectful ways he's treated me, as a landlord. It is just that simple.
I studied about these behaviors, of his, toward me, online, trying to comprehend what is is, exactly, that he has been doing, to me, that leaves me KNOWING that I AM BEING ABUSED, by him, but am also UNABLE to really, ARTICULATE IT well, to SOMEONE ELSE, so that, they UNDERSTAND, what I'M GOING THROUGH, and DEALING WITH, with him. I only knew-- before I learned the actual NAME of this TACTIC, that he uses, on me-- that IT WAS ABUSE, because, sadly, I HAVE BEEN ABUSED by OTHER people, BEFORE HE HAS DONE THIS TO ME, and I recognized that sadly familiar, IMPLOSION, going off, within, my spirit, letting me know, that THIS IS NOT 'NORMAL', HEALTHY, or, in ANY way, 'OKAY' behavior, being done, to me, by him. Remember, that, he, also, is more-than-willing to KEEP DOING THIS to ME, based on, my 4 YEARS of dealing with him; even though, HE KNOWS FULL WELL, that, I came here, as a homeless veteran, and I have been, an EXCELLENT tenant. The maintenance man told me once that he admitted that I was probably the highest quality tenant, he has EVER HAD, HERE. Yet, he has, treated me this badly, the whole time I have lived here, causing me, FOUR YEARS, OF ONGOING MISERY AND INSTABILITY AND UNCERTAINTY. He has done this to me ever since the day that I signed the lease for this apartment. What he is DOING to me, with ALL OF ITS DAMAGING EFFECTS on my body, soul, and spirit, is called, "Coercive Control". I will share, alot more, about that, here, within this, very-detailed, post.
I can say that, whenever, I have tried to alert him, to things that he should know about, going on here-- as his own Tenant Letters, to us all, are ALWAYS TELLING US TO DO-- he either shuts it down or deflects with a 'smokescreen' by changing the subject or even casting blame elsewhere to distract from the actual truth. He made a, very deliberate, point, of telling me one day, that he moved in a FEMALE tenant who was already creating problems for him, with drug use, her first day. I had no idea, why, he would even say such a thing, to me, as we weren't having a conversation about any of that at the time. It was all very vague, and out-of-the-blue, from him. It wasn't too long, after that, I realized, he was trusting a master key-- which can access ALL the apartments, in the building-- to the MALE tenant, who was openly admitting, and advertising, that HE was the DRUG DEALER here. I think that, unnamed female tenant, story, he pointedly 'fed me' that day, was a distraction. Whenever he's talked to me about any of the other tenants here, in a gossipy way (which causes me to realize that, when he's in THEIR apartments he is SURELY also DOING THE SAME about ME and MY PERSONAL BUSINESS that he may know of), he ALWAYS, actually USES THEIR NAMES! It is both amazing, and appalling to me, that, as our landlord, who is privy to PRIVATE conversations and information, about our LIVES and our PERSONAL BUSINESS-- INCLUDING due to him simply ASKING US FOR IT whether he NEEDS TO KNOW about whatever he's asking us, as tenants, or not-- he thinks, his knowing those things entitles him to tell anyone here, about anything, about anyone else, here, in a gossipy way. It is ONE thing, for US, as TENANTS, to LET HIM KNOW things we know, about tenant activity here, that (1) we think he SHOULD know, and (2) his Tenant Letters TELL US to TELL HIM. He SAYS, in, his Tenant Letters, that, if we share something, like that, with him, he will KEEP IT CONFIDENTIAL. That's, not, always been the case.
Because, I preferred dealing directly with the maintenance man (as, the lesser of two evils, where these two men were concerned) I would usually call him first if I had a maintenance request. One day, I called him because my screen to my patio door came off of its track, and I couldn't get it back on. I had tried, several times, and even cut my hand, in the process of that; but, I could not fix it, myself! When I called the maintenance man's cell phone though, to ask him, a very young child kept on answering it, instead! One, that was, so young, that their voice could not really even form a coherent, understandable sentence. I was very concerned, and it was also extremely frustrating as I stood there with my hand bleeding from the cut, I had just gotten, while trying to fix it, so many times, myself, first. I tried to ask, the child, "Where's Ruben?", but I could never understand what they replied. So, I hung up, and called back, three times, total, trying, to get, the maintenance man, to pick it up, and, answer it, himself, or, at least be able to, hopefully, get it to go to voicemail, if the child got tired of playing with the phone and put it down.
But, all, three, tries, the little child answered the phone! So, I gave up, for awhile. Perhaps this man was in the bathroom and the child picked up the phone because it kept on ringing in the meantime. As it turned out, that was not what happened.
When the maintenance man finally answered my later call to him, and he came to fix the door, he explained to me that his 3-year-old little boy (JUST THREE YEARS OLD!!!) had been given the phone, by him, when, both, he, and the landlord, had gone into a building that my landlord was showing him, that he wanted him to do some work on, but, he said, the landlord, didn't want the little child to go in there, with them. So, THEY LEFT HIM OUTSIDE in the vehicle with the cellphone; in case he needed it!?! That, child, could have been, harmed, kidnapped, or anything, and both, his father, and my landlord, had thought that, it was BETTER, to LEAVE HIM, ALL ALONE, in the vehicle, outside! Unfortunately, this, was NOT, the ONLY time, I encountered the maintenance man not making the safety of his own children (and family pets) a priority. But, this time, my landlord was, also, just as guilty, of child neglect, and endangerment, as the boy's father was. BOTH, of these men, to hear them talk, and see how they act, including, in revealing their personal priorities in conversations that I have had with them, have convinced me, that, people, take a back seat to profit, in their hearts and minds. Both are, totally, focused on making money. As for me, it was a, very, good thing, that my maintenance request, that I was calling, the maintenance man, about, was simply a screen door, that came off its track. This, old, building has sometimes had things happen like, sudden "water emergencies" and other things like that. If a tenant had a REAL EMERGENCY, that day, that I couldn't even reach the maintenance man on his cellphone, because of his little boy having it with him, it could have gone much worse, for the tenant(s), and for the building, itself. The boy who had the phone with him, was barely older than a toddler, and couldn't even, really, carry on a conversation. Or, be, able, to, take a message, for his father; including any, URGENT, or EMERGENCY, message!
In August of 2020, I got word from my youngest sister, by email, that our mother had died. I was getting updated, by her, through email, mostly. She was working, full-time, as well as doing, all, of her, family, church, and community, outreaches; and now, she also had to take on being the Executor of our mother's Estate. I felt helpless, to be able, to do anything, to help her, from here, since I'm living half a country away from her, in quarantine, due to Covid-19. I felt overwhelmed, by all of it, and because of that, I was, much more, emotional, than usual. I was crying, as I went out to the yard, to pick up, a large amount, of tree limbs, from a recent storm. I heard the landlord, visiting with a neighbor, in his apartment, as I picked all those tree limbs up, including right outside of the apartment they were talking in, together. I picked up limbs, and, wiped my tears, and, picked up, more, limbs, and wiped more tears, from my eyes. Neither man said anything to me or offered me any help or showed me any concern. I'd also sent the landlord an email telling him that, the SAME GIRL, that I have caught, time and time again, propping open the front security door, right beside my apartment, was, STILL doing that. By this time, my email to him, about this problem, that had been going on for years now, definitely, sounded, much more irritated, about this ongoing issue. After all, I had caught her; I had photographed it; I had reported it, to him; again and again and again and again, for years now-- just as, his, Tenant Letters instructed us to do to get this (safety, and security, violation) situation resolved. His own Tenant Letters CONTINUE to say, that THIS is a (safety!) issue, for the entire building-- even the letter he gave each of us, JUST LAST MONTH. He says that it enables strangers to get into the building that don't belong here. That's true, and as a former victim of stranger rape, that causes me to think that this long-occurring problem should've finally been DEALT WITH by him YEARS AGO, now. Every tenant knows his letters say the same old stuff time after time BECAUSE he WON'T just finally DEAL WITH IT, as HE SHOULD. Because, she is single, and, he has never evicted her, despite, being told MANY times, that she does this (because, he has TAUGHT her, that SHE WON'T FACE ANY REAL CONSEQUENCES for it, anyway), I have often wondered if what that other female tenant told me, about him having sexual relationships with some female tenants (although he is married) is true. He seems strongly biased. I know, firsthand, that, His methods, of dealing with issues, are, much, harsher, for some, than for others, that rent apartments from him. I never feel 'safe' with him.
Anyway, compare, what Jeramy did, while here, and how much it took, before the landlord, finally, evicted him, and, how many times, this girl has propped the door open, for YEARS now, which violates, the landlord's, own written rules, but, she is STILL HERE, with what this landlord did, to ME, last August. I had called him after my mother died, to tell him that my link to my sister during this time was through email, but the wifi, he provides, for all the tenants, to share, currently, had such a weak signal, that I couldn't access the internet. He will usually adjust the signal or reset a router, if we tell him this; as it happens fairly frequently here. Soon after, I found the security door-- next to my apartment-- propped open YET AGAIN, and I emailed him about it, in a way that, I know, finally, showed, my frustration, at his refusal to address the problem, in such a way, as to stop it, from continuing, once and for all, in this building. It was a difficult time, for me, for many reasons, all of which he was well aware of. He had also just seen me out in the yard, doing more chores, on his behalf, that benefitted all the tenants here as well as him. No other tenant does, ongoing, labor, here, that is unpaid; except me. I, also, told him that the BIGGEST reason, I would really like the door propping issue to be RESOLVED, is something that, I think, anyone, could, completely, understand, and agree with my feelings about, if they were the one living in my apartment, by the front door!
The photograph, above, shows some of the mouse poops that were in my kitchen.
Rats, mice, feral cats, possums, groundhogs, stray dogs, and lots of other types, of wild critters, live in, or, travel through, this area. The photo, above, is of a rat, that was lying dead in the apartment building parking lot. The maintenance man told me that, he, and the landlord, spread poison, under the bushes, to kill them. I felt sad hearing this, because that means any animal could be poisoned by that.
At least, I know, the mouse, that I saw, in my apartment (after, the front, locked, security door was propped open by this girl, yet again), wasn't poisoned; because it was living WITH ME, in my home! However, ANY KIND OF CREATURE, OUTSIDE the security door-- that almost EVERY SINGLE TENANT LETTER from the landlord says, is NOT, to be PROPPED OPEN-- COULD HAVE, COME INTO THE BUILDING. I am a victim of stranger rape, and domestic violence, too, so I have ALWAYS lived in SECURITY BUILDINGS, where the entrances stay locked, and no one can get in without a key. It is something I've needed, for my own safety, and peace of mind. Tenants have even told me that transients and strangers HAVE GOTTEN IN, when the security doors are propped open. This, is such, an important, personal safety, issue, for me, that, when I was homeless, and looking for a place to live, with the VA social workers, I told them, that I would not live in ANY building that DID NOT have locked security doors. I, also, had conversations with this landlord, about it; and since, he talks about it himself ALL THE TIME, in HIS Tenant Letters, too, one would think that, he would understand, why, a (female) tenant (especially) would be upset about this situation going on for all the years that I have lived here, and I am sure, even before that; because, this woman, that does most of it, has lived here since before I even moved in here, and despite all of her violations, she has been allowed, by this landlord, to continue to live here, and continue to prop that door open! However, THIS VERY SAME SITUATION, is the reason (excuse, rather), that, this landlord used, to give ME, the most, serious, and terrifying, of all, of his threats, to evict ME. First of all, I am not, at all, the type of tenant that, landlords evict! Secondly, he did this, to me, because, I FINALLY, dared, to, SHOW him, my FRUSTRATION, with this, continuing, problem, after several years, of having done EVERYTHING that, HIS Tenant Letters, told me to DO, to LET HIM KNOW who was doing this, so that, he could GET IT STOPPED. HE SAYS that DOING IT is a LEASE VIOLATION. However, because, he plays favorites, he gave her, another 'warning', about it; but, I was given, a Lease Termination Notice, by him, in August 2020, to move, by the end of October-- in the middle of a, deadly, pandemic-- because, he would rather kick out the person telling him-- what he had said to tell him-- about someone propping open the security door, than to, finally, put the perpetrator out.
This is a direct quote, from one of his own regular Tenant Letters about this issue:
"I have recently received some complaints of tenants finding entries blocked open. . . . No one wants strangers inside the building. If you witness another tenant blocking open a door, call him or her out on it and then call me to confidentially report that person. Everyone deserves a secure home. Please help keep the [building] free of intruders." [Note: I always thought his saying this was so ridiculous, because in the same statement, he is saying for US AS TENANTS to CONFRONT THE PERSON doing it, in a VERY DIRECT manner, and THEN call him, to also report "that person" to him, "confidentially". If it wasn't so frustrating and maddening, that he as the landlord doesn't deal with this issue once and for all in a way that really solves the actual issue, this statement would be laughable! This building, only has 11 apartments, on each, separate, side of the building. So, it is very small. Most of the time, a tenant does not even see anyone else, when going through the hallways. So, if one of us caught the Door Propper person, ourselves, right in the act, of actually doing, this Lease Violation, and we "call him or her out on it", that perpetrator WILL ALREADY, ABSOLUTELY, KNOW who ALSO reported it to the landlord! So, THERE IS NO WAY that they would ever hear from him, about it, after that tenant-to-tenant confrontation, that he wants to put us in the middle of doing, and think that someone OTHER THAN the tenant who has already 'called them out on it', WHEN, NO ONE ELSE, WAS AROUND, reported it, "confidentially".
"I have recently received some complaints of tenants finding entries blocked open. . . . No one wants strangers inside the building. If you witness another tenant blocking open a door, call him or her out on it and then call me to confidentially report that person. Everyone deserves a secure home. Please help keep the [building] free of intruders." [Note: I always thought his saying this was so ridiculous, because in the same statement, he is saying for US AS TENANTS to CONFRONT THE PERSON doing it, in a VERY DIRECT manner, and THEN call him, to also report "that person" to him, "confidentially". If it wasn't so frustrating and maddening, that he as the landlord doesn't deal with this issue once and for all in a way that really solves the actual issue, this statement would be laughable! This building, only has 11 apartments, on each, separate, side of the building. So, it is very small. Most of the time, a tenant does not even see anyone else, when going through the hallways. So, if one of us caught the Door Propper person, ourselves, right in the act, of actually doing, this Lease Violation, and we "call him or her out on it", that perpetrator WILL ALREADY, ABSOLUTELY, KNOW who ALSO reported it to the landlord! So, THERE IS NO WAY that they would ever hear from him, about it, after that tenant-to-tenant confrontation, that he wants to put us in the middle of doing, and think that someone OTHER THAN the tenant who has already 'called them out on it', WHEN, NO ONE ELSE, WAS AROUND, reported it, "confidentially".
All of that, aside, even though, he says, to us tenants it's also a lease violation, I have never seen him evict anybody for doing it-- even when they are a perpetual perpetrator. So, based on the landlord's own inaction about it, I don't believe that another tenant confronting the person directly about it, is going to ever resolve it.
In MY case, as the tenant, that, had, both, confronted her, about it, and, told him, about it (repeatedly), JUST AS HE INTRUCTS US TO DO, he started the process of putting ME out of MY apartment, which then, inevitably, caused that to became an eventual necessity, because of, the further complications, that it caused me, in my housing situation. I have to meet guidelines and regulations to receive HUD-VASH rent assistance, while living here. The position that he put me into, with this long, drawn out, process (that forced ME to move out of MY home, rather than, him, do the honest, and honorable, thing; even regarding, his very own, Tenant Rules and Violations), made my continuing to live in this place, impossible for me, to be able to do, at a certain point. All that I am describing now that he has put me through, started with his email response to my showing frustration because of this ongoing issue, with the security door being propped open, which, allowed a rodent into MY HOME, that then either, pooped on, chewed on, or, even shredded, most, of what, I own! (Which, I, then, spent, an ENTIRE MONTH, TRYING, TO CLEAN UP, AFTER!) This is what his solution was-- NOT, to the PROBLEM, but my FRUSTRATION, from the problem; that, I HAD, DARED, to DISPLAY, to him, in my email to him, after 3 YEARS, at that point, of my having to put up with it-- affecting my HOME, and my SAFETY. He, responded, with an email, to me, that included this 'bombshell', in it:
"Re: The Front Entry Door Was Propped Open Again Last Night
Clearly,
your ongoing messaging to me articulates your displeasure with the
apartment. . . . I will provide a formal lease termination notice, with copies to
HUD/VASH and Housing. Based upon your lease agreement, I am
required to provide 30 days notice for such a termination. In your case, I
shall provide 60 days to ease the pressure in finding a new location."
So, I became, QUITE LITERALLY, TERRIFIED, now, because of THIS, hanging over my head, every day, as I had NO idea how to look for another place to live when I am living in Total Quarantine, to TRY to STAY ALIVE, in a PANDEMIC. (He knows I have health issues, and I am quarantining, etc., because of conversations where I have told him, those things.) I've become, SO STRESSED, and, SO DESPONDENT, that I can BARELY FUNCTION, now. Ultimately, I had to live under THIS threat, of his, for exactly A YEAR. From the end of my 3rd year to the end of my 4th year of living in this apartment; trying to endure, his punitive, controlling, threats, to me. At the time that he did this, to me, I didn't know, it would go on for a whole year, especially since he kept extending it on a month-to-month basis; never removing the overriding eviction threat, that hung over my head, like a guillotine waiting to be the end, for me, while every moth he 'allowed' me to stay in my apartment for another month. He made himself look like 'Mr. Nice Guy' to my housing specialist, who, sadly, ended up believing his bullshit and taking his side, even though I had told her, all along, what he was like, and what he was putting me through. I even asked her, several times-- sometimes, while crying, inconsolably, because of, this asshole's mental, and emotional, abuse, toward me-- to PLEASE, find me another place to live because, he was controlling me to leave me to suffer in silence, after he wronged me, and it kept me continually off balance in my mind and emotions.
That, was at the end of August; 2020. Giving me until the end of October 2020 to MOVE OUT. THIS, was HIS solution, to my, finally, showing frustration, about that security door being propped open. I did not even RESPOND, when I read it. I just resigned myself to it. Frankly, this jerk, had WORN ME OUT, by this point. I didn't LIKE him. I didn't TRUST him. I didn't RESPECT him. And, I CANNOT STAND HIM! It takes, EVERYTHING IN ME, and PRAYER, to even, be CIVIL, to, THIS ASSHOLE. So, starting in, September, 2020, during, the pandemic-- making any move more dangerous, for me-- I had to look for some place to MOVE TO, while, the girl that was propping the door open, who was VIOLATING THEIR LEASE AGREEMENT and jeopardizing the safety and well-being of every tenant in the building, was NOT. I was not surprised, that this landlord chose to handle it this way, and by this time, I was so fed up with him and this place, that I was GLAD, to be GETTING OUT OF HERE. I NEVER even WANTED to LIVE here AT ALL, from the VERY BEGINNING. I longed to not have to live here; every single, stressful, day, that I have had to be here. However, this impending move, bearing down on me, during the height of a global pandemic, where NOWHERE was SAFE NOW, due to THAT, raised my blood pressure, to levels, that were, the highest, I ever had. In fact, all of my HIGHEST and most DANGEROUS blood pressure readings have happened while living here, largely because of actions and inactions from this landlord. He's a menace to me!
He, first, emailed, what I shared with you, above. I said NOTHING to him at all in response. This was just, who this man is. So, he slipped, an identical copy, of this underneath my apartment door. I, still, said nothing, to him. So, then, he, mailed me a copy, of this same thing, and I continued to say nothing to him, at all. I just got my moving boxes out of my storage closet in the laundry room while wearing my, pandemic, face mask into that, communal, area, since, he had told us, about that time, in one of his Tenant Letters, that some people living here currently had Covid-19, and I began to pack up my belongings. I started crying out to God, like I never had, before, in my life, though, as I brought this, unjust, situation, before the Judge Of All, and prayed for what I NEEDED, for ME. I have been there for so many other people, in so many ways, with little to nothing, to show for it, myself, as far as the betterment of my own circumstances. Including, for this LANDLORD who, in between threatening to evict me on a regular basis (to control me, which has been extremely stressful for me and not anything I am used to at all), texted me, confusing and contradictory things like, "Thanks for caring so much about your home"; "Thanks for helping keep the place up."; "Thank you for your help and concern". He's a real Jekyll and Hyde, this guy, because in between all these, appreciative, comments, for my, continuous, caring, contribution, to this building, he, regularly, threatened to EVICT me; and, if not, that, he would, at least, say to me, "If you don't like it, leave." (Even when I brought his own Tenant Rules to his attention, which were being violated, just as he said for us to do, which he wasn't following through on well, if at all.) His, very first threat, to me, was strange, and intimidating, which, I believe, was his purpose for it. As a very controlling person, with a weak conscience, he was already setting the stage to silence me (a person who stood up for truth, and what was right; which, he knew, about me, from our, very first, meeting). It was totally unprovoked, and completely out of context, for the conversation, that we had just been having. I had just, signed, the lease, and gotten the keys from him to move in, after being homeless, when he made a very ominous comment, which seemed to come out of nowhere; and, it was, certainly, recognized by me as a 'Red Flag', which turned out to be sitting on top of a large, mostly, hidden, iceberg, of threats! This man, was going to, make sure, from, the very start, that this, vulnerable (female) veteran, who had just come to live here, would be as, controlled, by him, as he could, possibly, achieve, by his, constantly, causing me to be, 'housing insecure', due to his threats, about the very roof over my head, here-- for the entire 4 years, I have been a tenant here, after my being homeless. Only, a real jerk, would DO something like THAT; just because, he can.
This, started a series of events, that, either way, was nearly pushing me back into homelessness; at the most dangerous time that could ever happen, to me. I have respiratory (allergies, and asthma), and, cardiac (high blood pressure, and, AFib), issues; and I am 65. All, of these factors, put me, in the, higher risk, category, for serious illness, or death, if I get, the highly contagious, Covid-19 virus. There are, also, more breakthrough cases, even for, fully vaccinated people; especially, since the Delta variant, of the Coronavirus, started sweeping through the world. On the TV newscast, just tonight, there was a report, on an 80-year-old woman, who has been fully vaccinated, but has still caught Covid-- TWICE, now-- but survived. She asked, "HOW is that POSSIBLE?" But, it happened, to her. There are still, so many unknowns we are, all, still learning about as we go through this pandemic. Scary!
Anyway, BECAUSE OF the landlord's Notice to me, I started packing up my things. I had to put those boxes, of belongings, in the middle of the floor, throughout the apartment. Below are photos of (some, but not, all, of) these boxes, still, stacked all around, in this apartment. I have been 'living', like THIS, since last September, because of, the landlord's Notice, in August 2020, that I had to move, by October. Almost a year ago, now, because, I am still here; even after, that MOST SERIOUS of, ALL, HIS THREATS. Ultimately, because of the pandemic, my housing specialist intervened, and got my time here extended month-by-month. So, I've been living completely 'housing insecure', the ENTIRE time-- the, 4 years!-- that, I have been living here, due to, the various, and, nearly, constant, threats, from, this landlord! Being placed in and kept in this precarious living situation, has been an extremely stressful 'trigger', for someone, like me, who has, previously, been homeless, and knows what that feels like (except, not with the extra, added, terror, of that being during a deadly pandemic). I've come, so close, to having a heart attack, from his unrelenting, punitive, undeserved, threats! I have literally prayed-- many, times-- that he not be THE DEATH OF ME; and that, I won't DIE, HERE, BECAUSE OF THIS JERK. It has been, truly, horrible, for me, here. EVERY SINGLE DAY, FOR 4 YEARS!
Even though, my housing specialist intervened, after it was down-to-the-wire, for me to have to move out because of the landlord's August Notice for me to move,
and got me extended, to stay in this miserable place, where I have been living in total quarantine, for over a year, now, due to, the pandemic, I have felt, at every moment, of every day, here, like I am 'waiting for the other shoe to drop'. When, the holidays came, last year, I didn't decorate. Half my things are already packed up, and there is no room to do anything, like that, because of, all the boxes, that are all over the apartment. I just sat here; waiting. Mostly, for the next threat to evict me, from this asshole landlord. I felt, very fatalistic, after all he has put me through; like he is going to somehow be the DEATH of ME-- either causing me to have a heart attack, from the unrelenting stress, he causes me, or by putting me out in the pandemic; while the door-prop-tenant stays in her apartment safe and sound. It didn't seem like, the holidays, to me. Thanksgiving, . . . Christmas, . . . New Year's, . . . Easter. Although my housing specialist was getting me extended, to stay here longer, I LONGED TO LEAVE! I kept, CRYING OUT TO GOD, for some, BETTER alternative. Something safer and happier, that wouldn't be so hard on my health or, continually, rob me of any joy, or peace of mind, like living in this place has done; day in, and day out, week in, and week out, month in, and month out, and year in, and year out. I became very depressed while I have been living here and, have even felt like, completely giving in to despair, so many times, here. I'm no longer, the happy, outgoing, smiling, woman, that I, still, was-- even, after, I'd been homeless, and then, was in the hospital, just before, coming here, to have a 'home' again. NOTHING, about THIS place, has EVER, FELT LIKE 'HOME', to me! I just, 'survive', here; 'exist', here. I feel MISERABLE, almost, all, of the time, here.
I didn't say a word, to this landlord, from the time he gave me that Notice, saying I had to move out, by the end of October, until he came to change the HVAC filter late in April, except for the day that my required housing inspection happened; in December, of 2020, I think it was. My housing specialist had gotten me extended, here, but I had NOTHING to say to this landlord. She knew, how badly, I WANTED to move, from here, but, the safest thing, was to continue on here, in quarantine, hoping the pandemic would come under control, to make it safe enough for me to move out. But I was now facing an additional dilemma, because of this landlord. I had moving boxes all over the apartment BECAUSE I had started packing up, due to his August 2020 Notice to move by October. Even though he'd told the housing specialist I could extend, here, I wasn't about to UNPACK, all those boxes, now. It was entirely TOO TENTATIVE of a situation, dealing with the moods and threats of this landlord. He had never gone THIS far, before, with his threats, toward me, all the other times. But, still, he had threatened to do this to me so many times, that I had NO FAITH AT ALL, in his not doing that to me, anymore. He couldn't seem to help himself. He is what he is; and he IS an ASSHOLE. I am 65 now. Packing up is no easy task. I wasn't going to UNDO it at THIS point. I JUST WANTED TO LEAVE! EVERYTHING, in me, DESPERATELY WANTED to LEAVE! I could not find any better or safer alternative, though. The last thing that I needed, in my life, was, another, bad, stressful, damaging, housing situation. One's home, wherever, and whatever, that is, should be, our refuge; our peaceful place. It should be healthy and happy, for us. Our 'safe' place. Especially, because of, all that I have been through, in my life, I have had a deep need, for a much better home life situation. I kept praying, hoping, waiting, watching, for the MIRACLE I NEEDED, from GOD. I knew, that HE KNEW, WHAT WAS GOING ON. THAT was my COMFORT. I identified the things that were missing from my life, that I needed, in a home situation, and brought that to the Lord in prayers and petitions. What I needed-- truly needed!-- was almost the exact opposite of what I had, in this apartment; and, especially, with this landlord.
So, the NEWEST problem from all this, that the landlord had caused me, was that I got a letter, in November, saying that, the housing assistance agency, HAD to do their REQUIRED inspection, of my apartment-- and, it would not PASS, inspection, due to all the boxes in here. I tried to get them to postpone it, which they did, for a short time, as I desperately tried to find SOME way to just MOVE OUT, before, it happened. My rent assistance would be terminated, if I FAILED the inspection, but there was nothing I could do. These packed moving boxes were all over the place! (Then, when I didn't NEED any more STRESS, the LANDLORD added STILL MORE, stress, to me, right around this same time. He came to my apartment to check on a battery alarm that was going off very loudly in some type of malfunction, and he had trouble getting in the door, because of all these boxes all over the place. [I've had to LIVE, this way, EVERY day, in here, because of him, though!] He ACTUALLY asked me, as he entered my apartment, "WHAT IS ALL THIS?!?" I felt, SO ANGRY, as I looked at him, incredulously, and said, "What do you THINK, 'ALL THIS' IS?!?" He just SHUT UP, then (a smart choice in THAT moment), But, ever the ASSHOLE, he sent me a "Thirty Day Notice To Quit For Failure To Comply With Lease", for the "Excessive clutter, boxes, and belongings, throughout the apartment." This guy, is UNBELIEVABLE. It was LIKE this BECAUSE OF HIM, and I was having to LIVE THIS WAY EVERY DAY. If I were REALLY, some AWFUL tenant, he could have, and would have, gone ahead, and evicted me, any one, of all those, many, times that he had threatened to. But, I happen to be an excellent tenant, though; which I'm sure he knows, despite how horribly he's treated me, the entire time I have lived here. He has even said so, to others; although that didn't stop him from tormenting me, by threatening me, almost all the time. He gets some perverse pleasure out of trying to BRING ME DOWN, because HE KNOWS, that I am, a FAR BETTER PERSON, than HE will EVER be! So, he keeps punishing me, for that; and trying to make me look bad, as well. I believe he's a narcissist, among, other things, because that type of person, always seems to want to destroy me. Or, at the, very least, DO ALL, THEY CAN, to bring me down, to their level, of human being. They can't do it, of course, but, they will always try. They incessantly attempt to. That is very draining on me. It was, right before Christmas, that, he sent me, that, "Thirty Day Notice To Quit".
Around that same time, I got another notice, from the housing assistance agency, saying that, despite the pandemic, they had been told that they must complete all their housing inspections, per HUD guidelines and requirements, and that, the one they had postponed, for my apartment, therefore, had to be added back into their schedule, to be done. There was not much that I could do, about all the boxes, all over, which meant that I WOULD flunk my housing inspection, and because of that my rent assistance would be taken, from me. It had become a burden, in itself, by that point-- just, another hassle, in my life, that I just didn't need, to have to deal with, in this situation. This landlord, was the one that had put me into this No Win situation. Because, there was really nothing, that I could do, I was about to, flunk my housing inspection, lose my housing assistance, and be evicted by him, due to his, threatening, August letter, that had said I had to move by October, which I, of course, therefore began packing, to do, which got extended-- but, only, month-to-month, making it unthinkable, in that precarious position, to unpack, any, of those boxes, stacked up all over the apartment, which left me in this mess I was in now. During these nightmare months, though, as I continued to desperately bring all of this before God, crying out, to Him, like never before, in my life, He began to lead me, to His solution, for my housing; and it was everything that I prayed for, that I needed; only, it was financially impossible, when I first came across it. Even as He confirmed it was His Will, for me, again and again, I knew it would take a miracle, for that to be able to happen. It DID happen! Glory to God! But, that, will need to be covered in future blog posts, all on its own, because it is a whole other chapter in itself. One, that I am, just now, starting, in my life, and am very hopeful about!
Because I came here, to live, from being HOMELESS, I have felt more vulnerable. The landlord, EXPLOITED THAT anxiety, in me. How the pandemic's factored in is that it has INCREASED my NEED to feel SAFE, especially, in my LIVING situation. The landlord has used this VERY EMOTION IN ME of my feeling 'housing insecure' due to, my prior homelessness, and because of, this deadly pandemic, to subdue me and shut me up from speaking out when he mistreats me. Because he, alone, holds, all, the power, regarding the roof over my head, he has-- so easily, and so often-- threatened, to take that away, from me! For, even, the smallest, and, the silliest, of reasons. That should NEVER be used LIGHTLY, as LEVERAGE, to control a tenant, as a form of intimidation! But, he has never had a problem (of behavior or conscience) with his doing that to me, and some others. He plays favorites, for whatever reasons; the rest, are expendable. From the very beginning, I stood up to him, for truth, and right, but, he made it very clear, very early on, that he was simply not going to allow that. The DAY that I SIGNED MY LEASE, which SHOULD have been a HAPPY OCCASION for me, after all that I had just gone through that summer, being homeless, and in the hospital, before moving in to this apartment,
I walked with him to the door of my new home, here, just after signing the lease, and he said something quite out of the blue, with no provocation, which was very ominous, and left me feeling, shocked, and apprehensive. As he reached the door of the apartment, and we stood just outside it, in the hallway, he suddenly said to me, "From now on, it's going to be a matter of me saying 'Jump!' and YOU saying 'HOW HIGH'." Stunned and confused by such a comment, I could only look at him as I tried to comprehend exactly what he might mean, by that strange statement. I have lived in apartments, which all, had landlords, for most of my adult life, and I'd never had any of them make such a strange statement to me. He was, clearly, some kind of 'control freak', but I had no idea how much he would use threats, to do that. This tactic of his is definitely meant to intimidate, control and silence me.
I will be overjoyed to get away from this asshole, as soon as I am able to do that!
I walked with him to the door of my new home, here, just after signing the lease, and he said something quite out of the blue, with no provocation, which was very ominous, and left me feeling, shocked, and apprehensive. As he reached the door of the apartment, and we stood just outside it, in the hallway, he suddenly said to me, "From now on, it's going to be a matter of me saying 'Jump!' and YOU saying 'HOW HIGH'." Stunned and confused by such a comment, I could only look at him as I tried to comprehend exactly what he might mean, by that strange statement. I have lived in apartments, which all, had landlords, for most of my adult life, and I'd never had any of them make such a strange statement to me. He was, clearly, some kind of 'control freak', but I had no idea how much he would use threats, to do that. This tactic of his is definitely meant to intimidate, control and silence me.
I will be overjoyed to get away from this asshole, as soon as I am able to do that!
It is, simultaneously, pathetic, and funny, that this landlord can barely manage to treat me decently when he interacts with me. I have no idea, whether he realizes, that, I truly, deeply, cannot stand him, at all, or, whether, he is aware that, based on, how he has treated me, these last 4 years, that I would, quite naturally, have every right to dislike him intensely; and, probably do. I don't even know that any of that would even matter, to him, anyway. He seems to, really, only want people to like him or think he's a nice guy to make things easier, for him, in his dealings, with people, without that opinion having any basis, in substance. When, he came to change the HVAC filter, in April, after I had just lived through 8 hard months of intense stress, because of his Notice to move out that he'd given me, last August, but has been extending month-to-month, since then, he was, suddenly, acting all, conciliatory, toward me. I was polite in return; outwardly. Inwardly, I despise him. One, of the things he said to me, in this conversation, was that, what he intended to happen, when he sent me that Notice, to move out, in August, of 2020, was for me to come to him, and work it out, with him. It was all I could do, not to tell this jerk off, then and there, as he said that, to me. He was flat out SAYING, that, in a power move, over me, he deliberately put me in a very bad predicament, in order to (try to) force me, to come to him, and placate him-- basically, throw myself on his 'mercy', and plead with him, not to evict me (when, he, really, never had, ANY GROUNDS, to evict me, except, the situational one, with the moving boxes, which he created; not me), so that he could have the egotistical satisfaction of watching me beg. He admitted he was quite surprised, even stunned frankly, that I had not said ANYTHING, AT ALL, to him, about, that Notice, nor anything else, for months, after that. I had my housing specialist deal with him instead; and whatever would happen would happen, about it. I just didn't want him to, literally, be my cause of death, and give him that satisfaction. He was so harmful to my overall health, my blood pressure, especially, that I had to start having regular telephone counseling sessions with my mental health doctor at the VAMC, to try not to end up having a stroke or a heart attack, from the continual and extreme stress, he put me under, and kept me under. I HAD NOT GIVEN HIM ANY REACTION TO THAT NOTICE, and this bully was clearly NOT USED TO THAT. I am ALOT TOUGHER than MEN tend to give me credit for. I also believe that, when he embraced me in my apartment, in that lingering, full frontal body hug, that once in my apartment, that he was both literally and figuratively feeling me out to see if I would be open to becoming one of his, female tenant, 'girlfriends', on the side. I didn't go there with him, AT ALL, though, and I honestly think that, alot of his threatening that he did was to try to make me scared enough, vulnerable enough, or desperate enough, to 'make that deal' with him at some point. I think he was ego-wounded and bitter that I didn't and that he also punished me for that, by trying to get me to cave in and do it or else leave and move out, because I wasn't doing what he really wanted me to do for him. I picked up trash, tree limbs, and pulled weeds. I think HE WANTED SEX.
He is either so, completely, deluded, or else so, continually, manipulative, that, in an email to me just a couple of days ago, he ACTUALLY had the NERVE to SAY TO ME, "Again I thank you for your many years of tenancy, support and friendship at the Chalet. I recognize [that] we had some challenging moments. Overall though, I sincerely hope that your residency was primarily filled with peace and comfort." HE HAS GOT TO BE KIDDING! [What he was, really, doing, with that, was actually TRYING, to gaslight me, to try to control the narrative, and, to cover his own sins. I am, also, sure, that it was done, for the benefit of my housing specialist, to read that, in his email, to me, since, she seems to believe that, he is the 'nice guy' that he shows the, fake, face of, to her. That email, was "Cc:" to my housing specialist, so, I am sure that, he was sounding like this, SOLELY FOR HER BENEFIT; whereas, I ALSO "Cc:" her on MY emails to HIM, but, the DIFFERENCE was, that I didn't say anything, that I don't say, when, it is, ONLY, TO HIM. I did not change what I said, to him, or how I said it, because of my housing specialist, also, receiving copies of my emails, with him, about my plans, to finally move out. So, she saw me, saying to him, in MY, email response, TO HIM, EXACTLY, what I think, of HIM, which was:
"[Landlord],
I am smiling, because I know who you are, so well, from these last several years; and nothing, about this email, from you, surprises me, at all! It is, exactly, what I expected, from you, although I had hoped for better. I have offered you, so many opportunities, to, do right, by me, as both, a tenant, and, a human being, and, so often, you have chosen, not to do that. My comfort comes from knowing that God knows all truth; and all, of it, will always matter, to Him, and to me. So, it seems, you are going to prosper, at my expense, again, and even moreso, because, I will pay you, the, full, rent, you require, of me, of $740.00, for August, ON TIME, as I ALWAYS, PAY MY RENT, AND you can KEEP the deposit, as well! Which, I am sure, delights you. But, I will prosper, in a way that matters, much, more, to me, by no longer having to deal with you, after I move.
That makes me feel like I still get the better end of the deal.
Shalom,
Deborah Robinson"
I ask for your prayers as I attempt to make this transition in my living situation in such, perilous, times, as these. It is, truly, terrifying, to me! I have NEVER, felt so AFRAID, as I do, now; doing this. But, living here this way, with this awful man as my landlord, creating-- CONSTANT!-- 'housing insecurity', in me, from ALL OF HIS THREATS, and the POOR QUALITY OF LIFE I have been forced to live, here, due to the negative situations, he has created, for my living conditions, by his words and actions, has brought me to, such DESPAIR, that I am having to CONSTANTLY fight against a dark depression that drags me down to the point, brushing my teeth, or bathing, is almost more than I have energy or motivation for. I'm drained by it all.
I'm BEATEN DOWN, by his BULLYING. I am BURNED OUT, from his bullshit. I have no more resources, to draw from, to prop myself up, to, try, to continue, to, DEAL WITH THIS JERK. He has, worn me out, and I am left in a completely demoralized state, after being at the mercy of, someone, so, DESPICABLE, as him. We are, oil, and water, with one another. To ME, there is really, NOTHING REDEEMING ABOUT HIM. I doubt, he loses any sleep, at night, over how he has (mis)treated me, as a tenant of his; but, I lay awake many nights, too stressed to sleep, because of the situation, that I find myself in, here, because of his flighty, fickle, personality that causes him to, threaten the roof over my head, one moment, and act like, he is a caring person (when, he's really, not), the next moment. It really isn't, about me, anyway, although, he tries to make me think that it is. It is all about him, being a bully, and, I suspect, a misogynist, due to his fragile male ego, that demands that he is shown respect, that, he doesn't show me, and alot of, similar, contradictions, between, how he treats me, and what he expects of me, in return, in spite of that.
It was 'a God thing' that I came to live here, but it was also part of a bigger work that God was doing, for me, in my own life. The same way that God has used me to (try to) accomplish His Will, in this landlord's life (I say "try", because humans have Free Will, to decide against what God would most like to accomplish in their lives; which Bible stories, such as the story of Jonah, document), God's also used the landlord, to set me on the path to finally being blessed, with the desire of my heart! I have been so deeply unhappy here, and yet have obeyed the Lord, to be here, no matter what, until HE decided, He is finished with me here. God blesses obedience--- especially when we obey Him in the face of adversity. I have always brought my, many, complaints about this landlord's tactics, to the Lord in prayer. When I finally prayed about the deepest desire of my heart, to God, to move out, of here, and go live somewhere that is an impossible miracle, for me, but I need, God began to do amazing things, to start the process toward actually making the desire of my heart become a reality, for me! Things, that I never could have had, or imagined-- happening! There is a quote posted by livelifehappy.com that says, "People who do you wrong are just helping you. They're helping you realize what you don't need in your life and what you really deserve. - Robert Tew". This is so TRUE! I cried out to God, from the depth of my very soul, asking Him, for what I needed, for my life to be better for me, after I have done all I can do, here, with God sending me here as his ambassador, to the landlord, maintenance man, and tenants. They all know, well, what I have stood for and I have spoken the Gospel Message to them as the opportunities presented themselves at some point in our conversations during my years living here. I have also freely and willingly helped them in various ways, and tried to be a blessing in their lives, as I was able to do for them, given the situation in general, and then during the stressful situation of the Covid-19 pandemic. This doesn't make me, a sinless saint, by any means! So often, my outer courtesy, and helpfulness, as I tried to, 'Do unto others . . . ' and show the love, of God, to the people, here, did not match, my own, true, feelings. I admit, there were certainly, many, times, that it was a very good thing that they were not able to read my mind, to know what I was actually thinking about them! I will be overjoyed, I am sure, when, the day, finally, comes, that I can leave, this place, that has made my existence so miserable for me, for the last several years. I am going to RISK MY LIFE and TAKE A CHANCE, to MOVE OUT OF HERE. THIS is how much I CANNOT STAND DEALING WITH THIS LANDLORD! I am now willing to risk death, from the horror of Covid-19 to GET AWAY FROM HIM and his THREATS. This landlord has ABUSED ME, using a known abuse tactic called Coercive Control.
Below is my description, of MY experience, of Coercive Control, with links to more information, as well as quotes and Tweets about Coercive Control, which has been the, primary, tactic that this, mental and emotional abuser, AKA my landlord, has used, on me. It has, made things, much harder, on me, much worse, for me, alot more stressful, for me, and, caused, an undercurrent of, rage, in me, toward, this jerk, that is, not good for me, for the sake of, my own health, and well-being. I'm moving out, finally, though, and, on MY TERMS, NOT HIS! God heard, my prayers, and answered them! I have done, all I can do, here, for God's Glory, and purpose, for me, in this place; but I have become so depressed, by being worn down in the process of that, after 4 long years, of this treatment of me, by this landlord, that I have become both unwilling and unable to continue to be abused, by him, beyond that. By the time, God finally made a way, where there had seemed to be no way, for me to, not just, move OUT of here, but, move INTO, the lifelong, 'Desire Of My Heart', he had made my life, so miserable, for, so long, that it had almost become unbearable, unlivable, for me. I had begun asking God to move me or take my life because, I just, truly, could not bear it, anymore. This had very nearly broken me!
Coercive Control:
I want to be VERY CLEAR here, that my RELATIONSHIP with my landlord is IN NO WAY, INTIMATE, OR SEXUAL (except, when he hugged me that once when he was in my apartment. I think, that he was trying to alter, or diffuse, the circumstances of, why, I asked him to come to my apartment, that day-- which was ONLY to SEE AND HEAR ABOUT, all the work, that I had to do, to this apartment, to be able, to live in, a clean home, etc., because HE DID NOT MAKE IT MOVE-IN READY for ME, as the NEW tenant, by ANY, stretch, of the imagination; although, he had told me, that it would be done). Even so, it is an interdependent, one-on-one, relationship, between landlord and tenant, for many reasons, that reaches right to the core, of the most, central, needs that I have in this life. Those are: for my housing, which represents security, safety, and, stability, as well as, a place of refuge and peace. To be, treated with respect, including, not being lied to, or taken advantage of; or threatened, with, any kind, of harm, especially, when, that is not at all warranted; and the freedom, and right, to express my needs and concerns in the relationship without having those dismissed, and/or receiving some punitive form of response, to my speaking up about things, that just aren't right, that are going on. Because this man has held, MY HAVING A HOME, in his hands, for 4 years, especially since it was immediately following my being homeless, his many threats, to TAKE THAT FROM ME, have, definitely, felt, emotionally, and mentally, abusive, to me. Using, nearly constant threats, especially, including during a pandemic, to take away my shelter-- what, should have been, my 'safe place' in this world, demonstrates, his ongoing attempts at coercive control, of me, which, is what he uses, to intimidate me, into accepting, MUCH LESS, than, I was, assured, by him, that, I would have, when making this my home. This is an abusive tactic, which is, used as a weapon, that is designed to silence me so that he doesn't have to hear about, or deal with, any negative consequences of his own behaviors, and betrayals, toward me, or be held accountable, and responsible, for, his, deceptions, lies, and taking advantage.
I put this list of, informational, resources, about, coercive control, near the end, of this post, so that you will likely have already read my examples, that are not all of what he has done, to me (I deleted half as many paragraphs from this post simply because of the length of it, leaving only representative samplings of his treatment of me), which should help you see what I am saying about this landlord using this as his way of 'managing' me. His doing this, in this way, has harmed my, physical, mental and emotional health, including, but not limited to, my blood pressure, my ability to sleep-- at all, deeply, or well, my staying constantly in a state of anxiety, which sometimes leads to my having anxiety attacks, that are so severe, at times, that I can barely breathe, and have nearly had to call an ambulance; my, living, in a, constant, state of being made 'housing insecure', a feeling of, never, being able, to relax or feel like there is not, another, catastrophic threat to my safety, from it. Also, feeling that I have been rendered unable to advocate for myself, toxic levels, of stress hormones, assaulting my body and my sense of well-being non-stop, etc. How, he has treated me, has demoralized me, to the point of both depression and despair. There came, a point in time, while I have been 'living' here under all this, from him, that I not only had to make mental health appointments, with a doctor, because of this, with him, but, I literally CRIED OUT TO GOD to either, HELP ME, GET OUT of here, and, more, specifically, AWAY FROM HIM, or just go ahead, and bring me Home To Heaven, because I couldn't deal with any more crap, from him. Interestingly, the U.K. has enacted laws against coercive control, labeling it abuse.
The following information, further expounds on the types of behaviors that I have been subjected to by this landlord, and have suffered, greatly, from, because of it.
Pieter @KievitPieter
Depression & Anxiety is often the normal reaction to prolonged abuse/trauma on a healthy mind
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/ "Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim. . . . Coercive control creates invisible chains and a sense of fear that pervades all elements of a victim’s life. It works to limit their human rights by depriving them of their liberty and reducing their ability for action. Experts like Evan Stark liken coercive control to being taken hostage. As he says: 'the victim becomes captive in an unreal world created by the abuser, entrapped in a world of confusion, contradiction and fear.'"
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/reports/news/a31487/what-is-coercive-control/ "Coercive control is defined as ongoing psychological behaviour, rather than isolated or unconnected incidents, with the purpose of removing a victim's freedom."
https://www.healthline.com/health/coercive-control "There’s a more subtle type of abusive behavior that’s equally harmful. Coercive control is a strategic form of ongoing oppression and terrorism used to instill fear. The abuser will use tactics, such as limiting access to money or monitoring all communication, as a controlling effort. While this form of abuse is illegal in some countries, including the United Kingdom, since 2015, it’s not considered illegal in the United States unless a crime has been committed. Anyone can experience coercive control, but it’s often grounded in gender-based privilege. Between 60 and 80 percent of women seeking assistance for abuse have experienced coercive control.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/coercive-control "Coercive control refers to a pattern of controlling behaviors that create an unequal power dynamic in a relationship. These behaviors give the perpetrator power over their [victim]. . . . coercive control is a form of emotional abuse that can cause psychological trauma. . . . It describes a pattern of behaviors a perpetrator uses to gain control and power by eroding a person’s autonomy and self-esteem. This can include acts of intimidation, threats, and humiliation."
https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2020/09/13/it-is-so-important-to-truly-understand-what-this-abuse-is-and-what-it-does-to-good-people-the-aim-of-the-emotional-abuser-is-to-chip-away-at-your-feelings-of-self-worth-and-independence-or-control-t-2/ "It is so important to truly understand WHAT this abuse is and WHAT it does to good people. . . . PEOPLE that have not experienced this do NOT understand the total scope of this hideous attack on our lives and the destruction it causes at every level of OUR once healthy life. . . . it is the grieving of the dehumanization and subjugation from their perpetrator or the toxic and abusive Narcissist. This is NOT a one time deal [e]ither – it has been constant attacks and emotional and psychological attacks and undermining of the victim’s complete being!"
Tweets from Angelic Essence @vesselofyahweh:
The darker their world the deeper they loathe being around you, they’re overwhelmed by the light within you that will uncover their deception. They just [seek to discredit] you because you know the truth about them. This is when the narcissist will most likely discard [NOTE: as in, evict, or threaten to evict you; to silence] you.
When you’re confident and consistent the narcissist will not be able to destroy you. They want to control how you see yourself when that’s not successful they get back up and start projecting, smear campaigning. They want to knock you off your high horse.
https://opdv.ny.gov/professionals/abusers/coercivecontrol.html "Coercive Control
Domestic violence comprises a range of behaviors beyond physical and emotional abuse. Abusers often use violence, intimidation, degradation and isolation to deprive victims of their rights to physical security, dignity and respect. Evan Stark has been encouraging the use of 'coercive control' to describe a course of oppressive behavior grounded in gender-based privilege. While all forms of abuse are about power and control, coercive control is a strategic form of ongoing oppression and terrorism that invades all arenas of women’s activity by limiting access to money and other basic resources. In addition, few elements of coercive control are currently considered criminal, or are only crimes when committed against strangers, which further complicates this issue within the context of domestic violence. . . . Coercive control is a strategic course of oppressive behavior designed to secure and expand gender-based privilege by depriving women of their rights and liberties and establishing a regime of domination in personal life."
Domestic violence comprises a range of behaviors beyond physical and emotional abuse. Abusers often use violence, intimidation, degradation and isolation to deprive victims of their rights to physical security, dignity and respect. Evan Stark has been encouraging the use of 'coercive control' to describe a course of oppressive behavior grounded in gender-based privilege. While all forms of abuse are about power and control, coercive control is a strategic form of ongoing oppression and terrorism that invades all arenas of women’s activity by limiting access to money and other basic resources. In addition, few elements of coercive control are currently considered criminal, or are only crimes when committed against strangers, which further complicates this issue within the context of domestic violence. . . . Coercive control is a strategic course of oppressive behavior designed to secure and expand gender-based privilege by depriving women of their rights and liberties and establishing a regime of domination in personal life."
"But one form of psychological abuse, called coercive control, is particularly difficult to spot. Coercive control describes someone's need for total emotional control over their [victim], and it's often gained through subtle or sneaky tactics. 'Coercive control in a relationship is, by definition, not about any of the factors that are being controlled' — Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, tells Bustle, but the actions are taken to gain control. . . . 'As soon as coercion is involved then the goal shifts from practical to personal, from functional to emotional,' Klapow says. And it doesn't always manifest in one particular way. 'Coercion is an emotional power move,' he says. 'It is done to influence an individual usually because the individual who is using the coercion lacks the skills or the confidence to openly discuss, compromise, or handle not getting what they want.'"
Whoever Is Trying To Bring You Down Is Already Below You. - – Ziad K. Abdelnour.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325792 "Emotional and mental abuse involves a person acting in a way to control, isolate, or scare somebody else. The form of abuse may be statements, threats, or actions, and there may be a pattern or regularity to the behavior. . . . Abusive people tend to abuse those they are very close with. For example, it may be their partner that they are abusing. However, emotional abuse may also take place in other types of relationships. . . . emotional and mental abuse can be very subtle at times. . . . Emotional abuse takes many shapes but may fall into one of several categories depending on what the abusive person is attempting to do. . . . Controlling behavior is a red flag in any relationship. Examples of controlling behavior include: . . . using the other’s persons fears; abusive people will often manipulate a person’s fears to control them[.]"
Emma Katz @DrEmmaKatz on Twitter
Coercive control is a severe form of domestic abuse Coercive control involves situations where somebody subjects another person/s to persistent controlling behaviour and makes it clear that standing up for themselves will be punished, i.e. ‘do what I say, or else…’.
[She added other Tweets, on this subject, which I also recognize as things my landlord does to me and, I am sure, also does to others, of his choosing, since this type of behavior appears to be due to his lack of character, and is his 'modus operandi', in dealing with, vulnerable, tenants, especially, female ones, who live in this building, because they are not financially well off, etc.]
Punishment may take many forms, it is not always violence, but it will be something the victim dreads, like cruel verbal putdowns or hurting children or pets
By repeatedly punishing the victim for non-compliance, the perpetrator hopes to demoralise and terrorise the victim into permanent submission This is coercive control
Coercive control is a severe form of domestic abuse Coercive control involves situations where somebody subjects another person/s to persistent controlling behaviour and makes it clear that standing up for themselves will be punished, i.e. ‘do what I say, or else…’.
[She added other Tweets, on this subject, which I also recognize as things my landlord does to me and, I am sure, also does to others, of his choosing, since this type of behavior appears to be due to his lack of character, and is his 'modus operandi', in dealing with, vulnerable, tenants, especially, female ones, who live in this building, because they are not financially well off, etc.]
Punishment may take many forms, it is not always violence, but it will be something the victim dreads, like cruel verbal putdowns or hurting children or pets
By repeatedly punishing the victim for non-compliance, the perpetrator hopes to demoralise and terrorise the victim into permanent submission This is coercive control
https://www.laurarichards.co.uk/coercive-control/ "Coercive control is a strategic pattern of behaviour designed to exploit, control, create dependency and dominate. The victim’s every day existence is micro managed and her space for action as well as potential as a human being is limited and controlled by the abuser. . . . Initially . . . charm may occur to get the victim into the relationship. Gaslighting, isolation, economic control and financial abuse and rules and regulations are gradually introduced over time once the victim is emotionally invested as well as a consequence if they are broken. The rules apply to the victim rather [than] the perpetrator creating a double standard and the victim fears the consequence if she breaks a rule. Over time, coercively controlling behaviour erodes the victim’s sense of self, their confidence and self-esteem, agency and autonomy. The abuser creates an unreal world of contradiction, confusion and fear."
* “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” ― Elbert Hubbard
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade is a proverbial phrase used to encourage optimism and a positive can-do attitude in the face of adversity or misfortune. Lemons suggest sourness or difficulty in life; making lemonade is turning them into something positive or desirable." - Wikipedia
*** Kennel cough is the common name given to infectious bronchitis in dogs. Just as in chest infections in humans, a number of different bacteria and viruses can cause the illness – normally a combination of both. It affects their respiratory system, causing them to cough. https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-advice/kennel-cough
**** "But when He the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come." John 16:13(NASB 1995); "Then He said, 'Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.' And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice." 1 Kings 19:11-12(NKJV)
***** slick: a person who is smooth and persuasive but untrustworthy.
****** Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, But those who deal faithfully are His delight. Proverbs 12:22 (NASB)
******* In Matthew chapter 5 Jesus presents the Beatitudes (which teaches how we are to BE in our ATTITUDES in this life) and immediately following those adds: "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:13-16 NIV
******** bozo: a stupid, rude, or insignificant person, especially a man.
********* Gaming the system can be defined as using the rules and procedures meant to protect a system to, instead, manipulate the system for a desired outcome.
********** kryptonite - in the fictional world, of comic books, TV shows, and movies, the created character, Superman, is very negatively affected by a mineral which, when he is exposed to it, has the ability to deprive him of his superpowers. Something, in our real world, that is also sometimes referred to as Kryptonite, is, by that definition, something that can seriously weaken or harm a particular person or thing.
That is what ANY form of abuse does to ME, whether it is physical, mental, or emotional, abuse; whether it is overt, or covert. It has, since my childhood (when I was first victimized, by it, and became sensitized, to it), always been the one thing that has the power to destroy me, as a person.
While living here, in this apartment, always, under the dark cloud, of this landlord, and his presence, and power, to make, my life, a living hell, for me, here, I have clung to ONE song, that SUMS IT UP PERFECTLY. It is my MANTRA, that I play, and sing along to, to get some of the rage, and stress, out of me, when I am feeling, so angry, and upset, about how this jerk is treating me.
It also ties right in to the kryptonite analogy, because, it happens to be, the song, SUPERPOWER, by Adam Lambert. Because, this landlord, always, tries, to control, and silence, me, and, almost always, strives to subjugate me, by terrifying me, with what became a steady stream of threats, including of homelessness, at his hands (which, he could do to me, at any moment, with, little, to no, notice), this song became my battle cry, to at least, fight back against the deep despair, and acute stress, all this has caused me. While I cry out to God, to deal with this man, about it all, I listen to this song, again, and again, alone in my apartment, until I feel like I can find some hope, and strength, in me, to go on. I hope to be SET FREE, soon, now, from having to live this way; by God, who knows all things. And, go on, to live, somewhere, that is, HEALING. ESPECIALLY, TO MY SOUL.
These are the lyrics, to SUPERPOWER, followed by, the music video, of this song:
Lyrics
There's something missing and I'm pissed and I've got something to say, oh yeah
All of the witches and the demons better get out my way, aye aye
I get back up when I fall
Rip the paint from the wall
When I win, I'mma run and take the money
Try to put me in a box
Make me something I'm not
Don't give a fuck 'cause I'm gonna take back
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
I know I'm not the only one who thinks this shit ain't okay, oh no
You kick us down in the dirt but we ain't goin' away, aye aye
I get back up when I fall
Rip the paint from the wall
When I win, I'mma run and take the money
Try to put me in a box
Make me something I'm not
Don't give a fuck 'cause I'm gonna take back
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
Don't you wanna be, do you wanna be free?
Say oh oh oh oh oh
Don't you wanna be, do you wanna be free?
Say oh oh oh oh oh
Freedom, yeah
Say oh oh oh oh oh
Freedom, yeah
Say oh oh oh oh oh
My super power
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
All of the witches and the demons better get out my way, aye aye
I get back up when I fall
Rip the paint from the wall
When I win, I'mma run and take the money
Try to put me in a box
Make me something I'm not
Don't give a fuck 'cause I'm gonna take back
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
I know I'm not the only one who thinks this shit ain't okay, oh no
You kick us down in the dirt but we ain't goin' away, aye aye
I get back up when I fall
Rip the paint from the wall
When I win, I'mma run and take the money
Try to put me in a box
Make me something I'm not
Don't give a fuck 'cause I'm gonna take back
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
Don't you wanna be, do you wanna be free?
Say oh oh oh oh oh
Don't you wanna be, do you wanna be free?
Say oh oh oh oh oh
Freedom, yeah
Say oh oh oh oh oh
Freedom, yeah
Say oh oh oh oh oh
My super power
My superpower, my superpower
My super power
Songwriters: Adam Lambert / Ilsey Juber / Tommy English
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
UPDATE, which was added after this blog post had been written but not published:
I always strongly suspected that the landlord could be doing improper things with some female tenants, just as I had been told by Cristal, because the maintenance man, Ruben, who was part of this usually 'two-man operation', was so completely comfortable subjecting me (as a female tenant) to very sexualized conversations, when he would come to my apartment, to do work orders. He seemed to have no concern, or fear, at all, that, a female tenant would report him to the landlord, for this type of behavior. That suggested to me that Ruben felt it would be condoned, or excused, by this landlord; and the only reason that would be possible would be if the landlord was behaving in inappropriate ways as well and Ruben knew about it. Sure enough, when I was finally moving out (which I did within the last month, finally), I happened to see Ruben, who lives in a house on the same street as the apartment building, and we began talking. I didn't even have to ask him anything about the landlord. In fact, I had assumed that he was still working for him. What Ruben told me did not surprise me at all, however, as I knew this landlord, myself, all too well. Ruben was very angry, at this landlord, and told me that he no longer works for him, because he had done all of the work, to renovate two houses, that the landlord had helped him with financially, but then, David had tried to take the now-renovated houses away from Ruben, after all the work he had done on them, to own them himself. So, despite how valuable of an asset Ruben had been to this landlord, as an employee, besides, them also being friends, with one another, this man, had waited until all the extensive, extreme, labor, had been done, by Ruben, and then tried to cheat Ruben out of owning those houses, to get them for himself after Ruben had done all of that work on them. These houses are on either side of Ruben's own home, also, which he lives in, with his family. So, he would have that betrayal in his face all the time, continually reminding him his boss and friend had cheated him, and that was after all the work was done. I'd had conversations with Ruben, about David, throughout the years I lived there, telling him that I despised this landlord, because, among alot of other things, he was also a liar, and a cheat. Ruben had always defended David. Now, he, had been lied to, and cheated, which was no surprise, to me, at all, because, this person is a selfish, manipulative, jerk.
Ruben went on to say, without me even asking him about it, that David does have sex with some of his tenants, and that, "IT WAS REALLY BAD!" He said that, even so, David still quoted scripture verses to him, to which, Ruben told me, he replied, "Then, why don't you live by this Bible, if you know what it says?" He told me how David and his wife fought all the time. She was always demanding, more, material things, that cost more money, Ruben said. I had met her once when I was moving in. She was very cold toward me, as I had smiled and greeted her. She, definitely, made it clear, that she looked down on me, from some, superior, position that she saw herself having, in her own mind. I thought that, she and David deserved each other! As for Ruben, he, finally, merely confirmed, what I knew in my heart, about them all, proving that I had been exactly right in my assessment of each of them; including him. He, had not behaved any better, than this landlord had, toward me, as a female tenant. He had defended David, saying I was wrong about him (when I knew, that I wasn't); until, his turn finally came, to be cheated, and mistreated.
Besides, what Cristal, had told me, about this landlord, when she lived there, and what Ruben, was now, admitting to knowing, about this man, all along, I had also once overheard a, heated, conversation, one day, that was not like, any, landlord-tenant, talk. It sounded like a couple fighting, with one another-- or, rather, like a woman really letting her man have the full fury of her being fed up with him. She was quite irate and was telling the guy off. The apartment building was small and normally very quiet, so I could clearly hear this as I went to check my mailbox. It was coming from the apartment right next to the tenant mailboxes for this side of the building. After checking my mail, I lingered for a few minutes; not so much to eavesdrop on her telling the guy off, that was in there with her, but, because I did not know if the man had upset her by abusing her some way. Because she was so upset, I wanted to be sure that I didn't need to intervene, by calling the police, or anything, before I went back to my apartment. I didn't really hear, a man's voice, at all. I just heard how extremely upset with him she was as she basically let him have it, verbally. As I stood there, trying to decide, if I should call the police, or if she was safe in there, with this man, she was so mad at, the apartment door was opened, suddenly, by someone in there; but I could hear her still yelling at him in there. You may ask, how did I even know that she was talking to a man, who was with her? After all, I could not actually see, either person, from out in the hallway, by the mailboxes. I just, instinctively, knew, from my being a woman, myself, and the times, in my life, in the past, that I have sounded upset in that same way. NO ONE, makes a woman sound like that, but a STUPID or SELFISH man! It's a FACT.
I hadn't seen who had opened that apartment door as she continued yelling, but I felt fairly sure it was the guy, she was with, who was, trying, to escape her wrath. I realized that he was seeing me out in the hall, and he didn't want to exit and be seen, by me. The apartment door was opened from the inside, several, times, but then, quickly shut again, each time, as I kept standing there, by the mailboxes. I finally moved out of their line of sight, into a different, darker, section, of the hall, where, I was able to, still, see the door, but not be seen, myself. I figured the guy was never going to leave her place until he thought I was gone since he had tried several times to come out but then he hadn't done it while I had been standing in his line of sight; as she, continued, to yell at him. It sure sounded like, this was a Lover's Quarrel, but, he was on the losing end of it; and didn't want to be seen by me while fleeing her wrath in humiliation. Sure enough, less than a minute after I had moved into the dark shadows, down the hall, he opened the door, again, and, this time he came, rushing, out, as she continued, screaming, at this man. It was the landlord! In his hurry to get away from her anger, and the scene that was, for him, he had not noticed I was, still, in the hall, and hadn't gone to my apartment, as he scurried right past me, before he saw me there. When he did, I merely said to him, "Is, everything, alright?", but, he kept right on going, by me, and out the door, after saying in response to me, "I didn't hear anything!" HE'S SUCH A LIAR! I had heard that for myself between the two of them, before Cristal had ever said anything to me about this landlord being involved with female tenants; and years before Ruben, his (now former) maintenance man, finally admitted I was actually right about David all along regarding that and other assessments of his character. I can't actually say that he had a sexual relationship with the woman who I heard yelling at him, but I can say that it was HIM who QUICKLY FLED her apartment as soon as I'd moved out of sight of the door to it, and he thought I was finally gone. Also, as he came rushing past me, 'like a bat out of hell', so to speak, he had lied to me about not hearing anything when he just came from where she was yelling.
