Still Sorting Through Mementos I've Saved

I am still sorting through alot of old papers and photographs, and some interesting items have been discovered in that endeavor, that I plan to share in my November blog post. Many of them I did not even realize that I had saved, over the years, at all, and others, I knew I had, but did not know where they were, until now. I have to finish sorting one last container, and then I can start the process of transcribing their texts into the post for next month and downloading some photographs that I will share. There will be much more variety than there was in these October posts.

I've felt emotionally taxed, as I have looked at and read through these things that are from my past. This time, I'll be sharing some things that people wrote, to me, more than things that I have written, although, there will be more of those, too. I have lived through so much in my life. It feels as if I've lived several different life-times, in this one. I'm REALLY TIRED, at this point. One thing that really surprised me was how many love letters I have gotten from various men who made emotive declarations toward me, and yet I honestly cannot even recall who several of them were. I think quite a few of them were club customers enamored with 'Stevie', my stage persona when I was a dancer. I was surprised to come across cards and love letters from my second husband, Jim, that I do not recall ever getting, from him! I find that both puzzling and sad. Something, about the realities of that relationship, obviously, overshadowed, my taking those to heart. I really do not know what that would have been, though. I loved him, much more than any man I have ever been involved with; even referring to Jim as 'the one man that I will love forever', in the blog posts that I have written about him. But, I also recall that, I didn't want to be married to him, in the way that it happened, because I felt like, the only reason he married me was because I turned up pregnant unexpectedly, and that colored how I saw everything about that marriage. I didn't FEEL loved. I didn't FEEL wanted. In fact, I also came across the court ordered paternity testing that he put me through when I started the divorce, which was both horrible and humiliating for me, since I am actually extremely monogamous by nature, and had deeply loved-- only-- him.

There are some things I came across which were written to me, about transferring the custody of my son when he was so young. I will put this in the November post also. It will unintentionally coincide with his November birthday. Jay will be 41, on November 15, 2022. It is raining, right now, as I type this. I've always said that it seems like tears from Heaven. I've been honest in my blog posts, and now I have also found hardcopy documentation, that backs up alot of what I've written about.